Reviews for Swan Song
SolaceInWords chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
I love the wording you used. It portrays everything perfectly, just the way you wanted it, I assume.
cupids.battlefield chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
You leave me speechless.

~ CB
XsilentXescapeX chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
This. Is. Amazing.

So many lines that i love...

"(I heard once that you can’t live if you don’t bleed

And oh! How I live)."

"And these crimson ribbons

Dancing, twirling, spinning

Down my legs

Make me feel pretty

(I always did look good in red)."

i think this is absolutely amazing and i am so jealous that i dont have as much talent to write these beautiful pieces of work.
AmorphousHeart chapter 1 . 8/29/2007
mew? *huggles*

Anywho... *whistles nonchalantly*

When I first began I thought "probably a stupid emo 'oh I'm so sad pity me!' poems," but this is so much more! It's...I can't relays the feelings without the "pity me" parts. It's an almost romantic portrayal. I like it a lot. Especially the lines "(I heard once that you can't live if you don't bleed/And oh! How I live)"
dust to diamond chapter 1 . 8/29/2007
Not exactly sure what to say.

I do love the line "Teasing it right out of the virgin flesh of my hips. I heard once you can't live if you don't bleed. And Oh! How alive I am."

Though worded slightly different than most other poems around, it resembles too much of an emotionally damaged individual poem (even if it is the symptoms of a MDD or being manic depressive).

Sorry, but I prefer your more cryptically alluring and abstract poetry than works like this.

No offense because you are a wonderful writer but I didn't really like the poem because I feel that you can be more than that.

Again, sorry!
sunscraped chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
you ahave a writing style that is both elegant and expressive without the choking ash of convoluted structure of obscure diction. this is much more than i can say for myself or any auther i've seen so far on this site.

however, from what i've learned in psychology class, people stricken with major depression often have delusions that their organs are rotting or they're a curse on humanity. often times, they can't bring the effort or willpower forth to even commit suicide, much less cut themselves. however, being a student, i may very well be wrong. if you think you have this disorder, it'd be wise to seek professional consultation.
antigonelives chapter 1 . 4/24/2007
There are so many poems like this on this site and I hate them (you know, the 'im dypressd kill mi cuz im ded insyde lolz' type), but I applaud you for writing this well... I would venture to say you wrote this kind of theme BETTER than I've ever seen. Kudos!


PS: Lovely imagery. :)
commemorativemisery chapter 1 . 3/26/2007
"razorblade kisses" i love that line.

i have these symptoms as well. i have though been diagnosed with depression, but i think it has reached this level.

great job i really like this!
lessons you learn chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
darling, i think you're fine. if everyone had those feelings and symptoms, then nearly the entire teen population would have major depressive disorder. it's okay.

and this is beautiful.
unuttered.thoughts chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
structuraly, the second to the last paragraph needs to be seperated, after But they're written so plainly If anyone ever cared to look. it needs to start a new phrase.

very good otherwise.
oxytocin chapter 1 . 1/4/2007

This is honest and angsty, but incredibly sophisticated.

Hard-hitting and effective. It's written in such a erudite fashion that almost belies the context, which is very adolescent-y. The short, ironic phrases in brackets really increase the sophisticated use of sarcasm. I honestly can't think what to critique. Good job.
Thorned Rose chapter 1 . 1/3/2007
A powerful piece indeed, grasping the desperation for help and a way out that is all too difficult to attain. You throw the reader into a sense of inability to cope and do not let go, a mark of a talented writer. Incidentally, the symptoms make the acronym "Festival" (food-eating disorders, esteem, scarring, tension, interest-lack of, violence, anti-social, libido) Not all symptoms are always what you feel, but if you're getting more than one it's most likely you do have it, and I wish you all the best for sorting it out )