Reviews for They Never Knew |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Like Youkai said, round out the little girl some more, and this will be a really good story. As it is, its an interesting little tale. Cheers |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was so sad, yet quite good. The ending was surprising! That is what I like about stories, haveing twists in them. To me though, it seemed to be a little short, maybe put in one more little paragraph? |
![]() ![]() ![]() It doesn't suck, by any means. Quite the contrary, it's a nice short fic piece, and wow, my jaw dropped at the last paragraph, it was a nice suspense, you'd think it was something else, but, you really handled that well, shocking the reader at the last moment. :) Keep it up. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, wow. Wonderful twist at the end- I totally didn't expect that. And it's not horrible. The only thing I can see that needs improving is that the reader's view of the girl is inconsistent. Do you want us to despise her because she throws balls at dogs, think her too proud for her own good, or feel pity because she was deaf? I like the overall story, and interesting word choice of "splat". Kudos for writing this at 5:30 in the morning. :) |