Aah, poor Walker.

I really don't like the attitude Radley and Cal showed Walker right from the beginning. You would think 19 year-olds would be more mature... But then again, I also have younger siblings and know how annoying it is for them to cling to you.

I wonder what was in that letter. Does the backpack Walker left behind have any significance, it is not mentioned further?

It would be great to read a sequel ...but my sadistic side says to make them both suffer from guilt. ;;

Oh no! He killed himself? That is so sad! Arg, when I am getting all emotional especially when I write dark stories myself...*shrug* what is in the note at the end? nice story! *smile*

That's so... Unbelievably sad. x_x I like it, though. It's sweet. But sad.

I liked it. It's sad, and I feel bad for poor Walker...But I do understand Cal's point of view. He could have been less cruel about it, though. Why would Walker randomly assume that Cal is interested in guys? That's the only problem I see. I liked the ending..Radley kissing him. Nice. :] Boylove and boykisses are sweet as could be.

Beautiful start. I absolutely love the metaphores and the details they give.

Somehow the language sounds unfitting (read: too formal) for a nineteen year old guy, (Isn't numbers under 20 supposed to be spelled out? Not sure...) unless he lives in the 1920s or something. Don't try to make the language nice, make it fitting! Otherwise, the grip of the characters is excellent. They're very realistic.

I like the background information about the characters. They feel important, not just filling space and making it longer. It feels like the information will become important later.

Try shorter sentences at the action parts, makes one read faster. In the parts after Walker's confession, I really feel with him! Good job on that. You got me going "NO" and "So mean!" and "WAHAHAHA" and "aw" :)

Okay okay, now to the important part: the suicide sound unrealistic. The reason is because it's not portraited realistically. Walker is only seen from the outside, which is correct, but somehow there should have been more expressing of how strong his feelings were. The amount given isn't enough for one to feel that he would commit suicide after what happened. That info is given afterwards with the mother, which is...kinda too late?

There aren't much details, but it's still sufficient to be balanced.

The mechanical front is perfect. The technical is not perfect, but awesome.

First story of the day that I didn't skim over. Great job!

I don't like the ending! It feels like the two bad guys go happy! Ek. It's like people celebrating after someone is dead and I hate that. LOL good job _

i like it alot, even if it does end in death. and you aren't obligated to review me any time soon, me and my "friend" are still working on a little something of our own. but whenever it finally gets posted, i'll let you know, it seems like a story you'd like, if vampires and slash together is your thing...

:)

-Opti