|Reviews for Dead Eye|
| Dark Link Girl chapter 2 . 11/9/2010
Isn't Scarecrow a Mathew Reilly character, he has the scars and everthing. Ignoring that this is so AWSOME!
| The Five chapter 4 . 1/27/2008
Cheers for Review Marathon.
I’m aware of what you said earlier about not judging your writing based on this story. I think you should try to clean it up a little since you finished it. Fix the minor comma errors and such.
“Ok, when you get there I want you to have a look through the vent and see if (there’re) any troops about(,)” replied last minute save seems classic. And the traitor situation was a surprise.
| Halfbloodlycan chapter 3 . 1/27/2008
Nice chapter. I like when the roof begins to come down on them.
A few noticed things:
They roped down (without)
(While) Samurai was speaking into the radio(,) Dead Eye was checking out the clearing through the scope of his rifle.
Also, can you fix the you's? Please?
| Halfbloodlycan chapter 2 . 1/27/2008
Review Marathon Day!
I noticed a few minor errors:
(which) he carried (everywhere)
along his eyes (where) he was tortured
They (were) on (their) way to the LZ
All (they) knew of the target
get around the outer (defenses), find out (where) the bugger sleeps
there also doesn't seem to be that much detail regarding their location. Perhaps you could add a little.
Overall the idea is interesting and I like the code names.
| Halfbloodlycan chapter 1 . 1/27/2008
Yes, I’m from Review Marathon (link in my profile)
This story has a real James Bond like feel to it. I like the feeling of suspense at the end. I can imagine being trapped in a five by five box would make anyone claustrophobic, especially if the person is over five feet tall.
| renagade master chapter 1 . 2/9/2007
hey shel i remember when your first wrote this and was tring to get everyone to read it lol. not bad for a first effort.
| myapologiesnolongerinuse chapter 5 . 1/14/2007
That had a nice plot. A lot of action and it moved along quickly. The only mistakes I could find were minor, like punctuation. Other than that, you did a good job writing this. The characters were interesting and the ending was satisfactory.
| Jea chapter 5 . 1/9/2007
Gotta say, you might think about getting a beta reader for those spelling/grammatical/punctuation/capitalization mistakes. But enough of that. I've mentioned it in every review. Just wondering, how is Crist pronounced? Like Christ? Or Chris with a T at the end? Anyway, since you uploaded all of this at once, I'm guessing you've gotten a lot of it written. Hopefully you'll update again soon, because I'll sure read it. Nice work so far.
| Jea chapter 4 . 1/9/2007
There's a section of lines of dialogue here where I have absolutely no clue who's saying what. More capitalization errors, yada yada yada. Funny chapter title. The Three Musketeers, ne? Also, you keep using 'u' instead of 'you'. Online chat abbreviations are absolutely not acceptable in writing a novel, but I'm sure you know that. On to the next chapter, then. . .
| Jea chapter 3 . 1/9/2007
Crap! I think I just called Chelsea a girl in that last review. Oh well, whatever. You know what I meant. Scarecrow is interesting. . . I gotta say, the lack of punctuation is grating my nerves a tad. Some typos, too. I can kinda imagine this like an action movie that I'm watching - maybe even a show like Stargate.
| Jea chapter 2 . 1/9/2007
Lots of grammatical, capitalization and punctuation mistakes, but hey, we've all got them. I see in your profile that we're the same age. Goody. Anyway, this reminds me a lot of a story my friend was writing before, so I've found it pretty enjoyable. Also, with 'sly' names like Dead Eye and Samurai, where the heck does Chelsea come in? Seems a little odd. Nevertheless, you also, again, didn't do much describing; especially for Chelsea. Seems like you're really into concocting strategies and talking about weaponry more than describing characters, setting, etc. That's okay though. I'll keep reading.
| Jea chapter 1 . 1/9/2007
Goodness! This is short. Anyway, a few things to say here. It's good that the action started right away, but you didn't describe much of anything, including your main character. We don't know anything about him. Also, the block of dialogue at the end seriously needs to be reworked. I see potential here, though, and I'll be reading on.