|Reviews for I Do Believe In Faeries|
| SavRm4MiLuv chapter 5 . 6/17/2010
i like you. plain and simple. :)
this story was refreshingly stale. the unnamed protagonist is one of my favorite heroines, though she showed no signs of heroism.
but really, what made this story brilliant was your mind. conceptualizing this little ditty either took a stroke of genius, or an extremely bored, "what if" moment.. or a combination of the two.
i mean this in the best way possible, by the way.
| like-diamonds chapter 5 . 12/26/2008
I. LOVE. THIS.
this chapter was fantastic. phew, im still getting over it.
the ending was blissful. i know its an odd word to use, but thats how i felt when i read it. the total roundabout from the beginning really left me pleased (no matter that the character wasnt, hehe) at how the story turned out.
of course there were some typos, like once you put "should" instead of "shoulder" but even now, when ive read over my story for the 20th time, i still find errors, so i cant blame you. it still wouldnt hurt to give it that one last read and fix them though.
lovely narration and exceptional dialogue (the dialogue was nice and believable, which i appreciated) and of course, my friend, the humour, lol.
oh its very nice to know that my reviews are helpful to you-thats what i hope for:) i also understand the use of all the short sentences. its nice to know that you thought enough to give the character a distinct personality (no, seriously, some people dont do that) but some of what i said previously could apply here too.
overall, a very intiguing read and ill be taking a read of your other stories. defintely keep writing:)
| like-diamonds chapter 4 . 12/26/2008
nice chapter. wow, i really wsnt expecting the little twist with the faeries (huh, and they're not even faeries! just miniature humans) i liked it.
i realize that you like to use short sentences. they great, mind you, but sometimes it could work if you join them. it helps the words to flow better. for example, "She shivered. Her eyes snapped open. Green, like mine." its just my opinion, but i thought it might have sounded smoother like this, "She shivered, and her eyes snapped open. They were green, like mine." i dont know if would agree with me, but i thought it might be helpful.
there were also some punctuation errors in there. i couldnt go about pointing all of 'em out so just thought maybe a quick review from the author could have fixed them.
well, i think thats it for this chapter. of course i enjoyed it like all the rest. keep writing :)
| like-diamonds chapter 3 . 12/26/2008
ahh, so here i am, back on track. oh and i didnt take the time to apologize before for not reading through all the chapters before, so here it is, "i'm sorry!". but really, its not my fault that i banned from the computer (my mum thought i was semi-catatonic) so i couldnt get back to this site for a while.
ANYWAY, so here we go.
gray's back, whoo! i'm wondering where he gets these people from. i hope she goes into some adventure or something in her own home and finds out about these people. that would be fun, but i trust your mind to come up with something great.
but other than that, the writing was great in this story as usual. i must say, really like how you write. i think its how you manage to insert humour, not to mention well worded paragraphs, while still weaving a great plot into the story. its keeps readers very interested.
okay, overall, i liked this chapter and im movin on to da next one. keep writing :)
| like-diamonds chapter 2 . 12/26/2008
read this chapter too, and i just skimmed it over to refresh my mind.
the dream was great. VERY humorous (as was the rest of the chapter. anorexic spider? lol), which i appreciated greatly. i didnt think it had a point really, but unlike other stories that ive read, the pointless part did keep me interested and wasnt a 'shoot me now' boring piece. lol, was the dream paranoia induced?
im wondering what happened to gray, so that only means one thing.
onwards, to chapter 3 (if i havent read it already, that is, hehe) keep writing.
| like-diamonds chapter 1 . 12/26/2008
i read this chapter (and a few others, actually) already but for some reason, i didnt review it. i felt so bad lol.
okay, first off, i adore the humor in this story. it always seemed to come in at the right time and it didnt hamper the writing at all. from the time i read the part involving the rat being beat to death with a broom (i was in stitches XD) you had me.
the writing flowed in this story very well, and i can see you are a very good author from it.
the descriptions in the story were great also and i liked how you gradually gave some of (whoa, your chacter doesnt have a name, does she? cant believe i missed that . . . oh well, take it as a compliment that i completely forgot about the naming of your character because the writing was so darned gud anyway, hehe) where was i? right. i liked how you gradually gave some of (insert character name here)'s physical descriptions throughout the story. you gave a lot of her personality away too.
overall i truly enjoyed this first chapter and im looking forward to others. keep writing :)
| Inarra Lake chapter 5 . 2/3/2008
Man. I left me wanting to know what happened. I feel so bad for her, thinking her boyfriend's going to come back, and what about when new people move in? What then? Man, this is going on my favorites,along with you Solemn.
| Disturbly chapter 1 . 8/21/2007
I had an opportunity to take a break from my writing (stories about elves with Toyotas and laser guns, incidentally) and checked out your profile. I was pleasantly surprised to find a veritable feast of intriguing stories. It took a while to choose where to begin, but this one's summary seemed a bit more interesting than the rest - not that the others fell short by any great margin, mind.
I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed; after giving it a read, I'm here to weigh in with my thoughts. Though it's not really my signature style, I'll mimic the format you used in your uber-helpful review; turnabout *is* foul play, after all. So, let's get to it...
"I live alone. That’s how it’s always been. Just me and Gray in our little inner-city apartment."
Good opener, though I confess it did give me pause at first. Your character says she lives alone, and a sentence later names a cohabitator. You later put it into context by identifying Gray as the cat, but that's a whole two paragraphs down. Never a good idea to start a story out with a bit of cognitive incoherence, but otherwise, a solid opening, that firmly anchor's the story in first person perspective (It just me, or do you hear an echo?).
"Sometimes I bring his parentage up, but that usually makes him angrier. Maybe it would help if I didn’t think he was descended from goats."
A clever line, delivered at just the right place. Personally, I would have substituted the word "ancestry"; I'd try to juxtapose the more formal term with the insulting sentiment to play up the humor. However, that's just my MO; I don't mean to suggest you should do it.
"And by “stood”, I mean he dangled from Gray’s mouth, limp and lifeless. "
Nice bit of BS there. No, wait, chillax! The initial's stand for "bait and switch"; you used to it good effect there (incidentally, I have a phobia of ampersands. Weird, huh?").
"It’s short for Graymalkin."
I have no clue what you were referencing there; my loss.
"It’s hard to keep your culture when you’re dead. "
Another good line; I really like these sardonic observations.
"She could argue the knob off a door or drink my step-dad under the table."
Oh, so her grandma was Irish, and you characterize her as what? An irascible drunk. Well, Solemn Coyote, I happen to be of Irish descent, and I can tell you, that line... was pretty much spot on, and totally sweet besides. Erin Go-fucking Bragh, y'all! \m/
"I did contract work, graphic design, and that paid pretty well. "
Ok, if I had seen that in almost any other author's piece, we would have had a problem; "computer programmer/ graphic artist" is, after all, one of the great Mary Sue occupations, behind Mercenary, Musician, and Highschool Student. However, you're so far from Mary Sueville here that I guess it's permissible, just this once. But only once. DO YOU HEAR ME! Nah, I'm just jerking you around; don't know why I wasted either of our time by commenting on it.
"The kettle snapped and hissed, and the fairy lay perfectly still. "
The entire paragraph from that point is perfect perfection with a perfect-y coating; you reveal a lot of little humanizing traits about your character, but do so in a natural and subtle manner. Nice.
"Then I took anther drink of hot chocolate and went to my computer."
Ah-hah! Typo! Found a typo! Turns out you're only human after all; I was beginning to think you were some kind of AI, programmed to write ass-kickingfully.
""What I found was: teen fiction, porn, neo-mysticism, porn, rants about homosexuality, porn, and some flowery artwork. The artwork was pretty. The porn was disturbing."
Ok. That line was just... I mean to say that it... It was just so... I love you. I mean that in a completely platonic way, in the context of my admiration of your work; but I mean it nonetheless.
So, in summation, what I liked? Got a pencil and an hour? The whole thing was superbly done, with just enough touches of the mundane to offset the fantastic subject matter (there it goes again! Damned echo...), and witty and clever enough throughout that I've begun to view you as a potential Rival, and am putting serious thought into destroying you. Nothing personal, of course.
What I didn't like? Not much; as I said, the cognitive stumbling block in the first line slowed me down, but you could rework it.
You really don't describe much of the character's surroundings, leaving the reader to put their imagination to work in viewing her apartment and such. I realize, of course, you have to do that; considering the length and pacing of this, you would have destroyed the momentum if you'd mixed in a bunch of superfluous descriptions. Only speaking as a writer from a stylistic standpoint, I could never feel comfortable attempting to pull off the same thing; a kind of localized, king-hell OCD would kick in, forcing me to micro-manage the scene, throwing in details about the character's knicknacks and book collection. In other words, I would have butchered this; that's why I wouldn't tempt fate by going for something of it's brevity in the first place.
I can't help but notice the protagonist is, at this point, unnamed; as many times as you commented on the same feature in SaSW, I was incensed (eh, more like mildly disconcerted) to see you display the same foible. Bad Coyote; no cookie. No cookie *indeed*.
And finally, this was just too damn short! I suppose you brought it to a close at a natural stopping point, but as a reader, I'm not obliged to take my fiction fun-sized. I guess I'll have to read the rest of this and get back to you with one of my characteristic Meta-Reviews. At the moment, I've business to attend to; I drank some Nyquil a while ago, you see, and there seems to be some type of mechanical snake cavorting about my window. I am absolutely *compelled* to jump off my roof and try to wrest it to terra firma; I'll update you on how it went later.
| Burnt Bread chapter 5 . 4/2/2007
I would say you are a very, very boring person, but the fact that you managed to write about faeries in a way that makes them completely uninteresting is in itself interesting.
The story was well written, though a bit dry. While reading, I didn't know whether to feel sleepy or amused. And even though every physical pointer says that it's very plain, I can't help but think that it's a very clever story somehow. Maybe because it was such a subversion of the whole concept of little people, it was interesting to read. I don't know.
You should post more often :poke:.
| this account is no longer on chapter 5 . 3/26/2007
Solemn Coyote, I'm really not sure what to think when I read this story. I've read it six times and have no idea what to make of it. You were right; it certainly isn't your average fairytale. But I enjoyed it, that's for sure. It was very well writen, and I think that you ended it in just the right way for the style of the story. But I wish it hadn't ended quite so abruptly. I don't think I'll ever read a fairytale n the same way ever again.
| EnderWinner chapter 5 . 1/25/2007
Hopefully fictionpress won't eat this review. The story was very well written. I admire how you were able to keep the main character's voice the same throughout the entire piece. That's something I sometimes struggle with, so good job. You also did quite well in making this an 'anti-fairytale', so to speak. It isn't your average fantasy, and it rather reminded me of Ray Bradbury at times.
I like the style and interpretation of the fantasy genre you've gone for. It's different, but in a good way. It nearly falls into a 'speculative fiction', ack horrible term, category, but that's only for those who like labels. Personally, I don't. See, your muse speaks to you. Now you just need a leash for her.
| EnderWinner chapter 2 . 1/24/2007
"The pictures were pretty, the porn was disturbing." I like the cynical humour. It made me chuckle when I read it. I like your writing style, your muse is kind to you. I'll be sure to look at the other stories as well. Looks like and interesting story, and I'll get through the rest of it when I have the time.
| breana chapter 5 . 1/20/2007
Hmm... that was... interesting. I mean, it gave a new outlook on the whole fairy thing... and it was well-written, funny at points... but it seemed kind of... abruptly ended. Almost pointless. I don't know- I enjoyed reading it, but I felt kind disappointed by the ending. Like I said, it was well-written... *shrug* I guess I'm just being picky.
| Gathering Crows chapter 5 . 1/14/2007
Interesting. I like how big people are myths to the little..-er people. I also liked how things didn't resolve happily ever after.
| Awaking kills the Dream chapter 5 . 1/14/2007
Chapter 5, the last one by the looks of it. :(
"Cats are never there when I need them. People are always underfoot when I want to be left alone. Story of my life. Or, at least, it’s been the story of these last couple days. I searched thoroughly but Gray was nowhere to be found. He’d apparently left the apartment for fairyland again. I sighed." - again, I cracked up when beginning to read the chapter. You have a talent for making me do that, apparently.
The part about skipping town and leaving the whole fairy problem to the landlord is a nice touch, especially that the thing that keeps her back is Gray, the only creature she's ever gotten along with. Shows how much she cares about others.
And the description about how she knocks on her own bathroom door. The fairy has more or less gotten herself her temporarily own place to live.
“I think you can help me help you,” I said, “Help me help you help me get my apartment back. - ah, the classic help-I-got-to-think-to-understand-what-is-meant-here line. It wasn't too complicated though, so I survived :)
“I don’t want to.”
“Neither do I, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice.” - ah, we love cynicism :)
"Well, it turned out I’d been wrong all those years. It wasn’t just people. Faeries did it too." - poor protagonist, forced to listen to somebody else's jabbering, which she has no interest whatsoever to listen to. Or answer, for that matter. Feel my compassion...
“There’s a lot of dust. Do you clean back here?” She asked from behind the couch.
No, I don’t ever have to go back there.
“The cabinet here’s empty. Don’t you buy movies?”
No, they cost money.
“You’re almost out of dish-soap. You need a refill.”
Right. That’s what I’m worried about right now. - again, the lovely cynicism. Me likes :)
“B-student. The back of a pickup. No.” I’ve never cared much about small talk, and I’ve never had a lot of practice with it. - love the way she refuses to elaborate any about herself.
“I meant, what’s it like being you?”
“I’ll be even better when this is over.” - she's just overflowing with positive energy this girl, isn't she? ;)
I like how unceremoniously their farewell is. Push fairy through hole, bye bye, hope I never see you again. Ever.
"In the morning I resolved to find the landlord and make on last joke about his parentage. Then, I promised myself, I would tell him that I was moving out." - it's a bit sad ending to the story. No more fairies. No more sarcastic remarks about how things are so much for the worse when fairies are around. And fairy lady will never really know that Matthew was killed by Gray (she'll probably figure it out anyway, and it might not be such a good thing that she figures it out and has a chance to come back. She'll probably develop some crazy plan and kill Gray somehow. Or not...). Anyway. One tiny little error in the joke line. I think it's supposed to be 'one last joke', not 'on last joke'.
Great job with this story! Again, I can't truely express how well done this story was, and how many times I laughed out loud (and also, all the times sniggered and snorted and so on).
I will have a go at some of your other stories as well, but not right now. This isn't the last you've seen of Awaking kills the Dream *dramatic music*.(hey, that actually kinda rhymed too. I'm such a poet)
Also, thank you for your review. I'll respond to that one later too, but first there is dinner to be had.
~Awaking kills the Dream