Reviews for hospital bar
electrical moon chapter 1 . 10/15/2011
Wow. This is amazing. I loved the reference to Grey's Anatomy and the line 'this broken flute that plays only flat'.
the sun softly smiles chapter 1 . 7/17/2011
I love the way this sounds - the rhythm of it in my head is fantastic. it gains the kind of cadence and momentum of a person walking down a steep hill - deliberate, plodding steps at first and then gaining more and more of a design of its own from the middle on. or perhaps that is only my imagination spurred on by the absence of punctuation.

overall... I like this quite a bit :)
nickyO chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
I'm glad I visited your author page. This is a well wrought poem that's worth reading and rereading. The train of thought that runs through it creates a sense of shock and urgency.
Painted Persephone chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
Hello,

Just wanted to say I like your work! Couldn't decide which of your poems I wanted to comment on-I've liked several a good deal, but couldn't commit myself to coherent thoughts-so here I am nodding in agreement that this favorite of yours is indeed good. :-)
steffxnie chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
'so forgotten even forget-me-nots can't remember what it felt like to be flowers' wonderfully phrased. i also like this part: 'or the crinkling vines of a grape arbor trilling into a cloudless sky what sky what sky what sky the sky is dead like the staining drink escaping this broken flute...'

great imagery in this.

keep writing.
LittleViking chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
Wow, I can see why this is your favorite... it's absolutely fascinating.
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
i'm completely speechless.

this is an incredible piece.
Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 7/7/2009
Wow. This is incredibly incredibly, you do free thought so well, even thing flows and leads into the next I can feel these thoughts, beautiful images. I can hear someone saying this aloud at a poetry reading, it's just beautiful with just the words, and I like the different meanings that can be drawn.
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 6/26/2009
Electrifying flow of heart and mind-tickling imagery dressing souls in merlot clothes of pure catharsis- the sky is special indeed. The wine allusions are breath-taking. Can't have too much of wine. Great work.
effervescent-sentiments chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
I loved this. Rambling imagery is my current obsession, and you are a master.

Jules
alkfhdakjd1 chapter 1 . 2/7/2009
I love the way it builds and reaches a crescendo and then stops. I don't know, I just liked the flashes of thought and insight and how they each built upon the last - it was incredibly well done. I can see why you like this poem of yours the best...it's just great. ]
these travels chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
. .
Lux d'Marcs chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Huzzah for the near-nonsense train of thought ;)
Acantha Alleyoope chapter 1 . 10/27/2008
I really like the symmetry of this poem. As I scrolled through your poems (mostly, i assume) to get to this one (you said was your favourite), I noticed how clever your titles were, and the insides are also not disappointing (as i expected. its hard to find good poetry on fp sometimes).

Yeah, and I never could come to terms with the color of the hospital sheets, and nurses uniforms, and other standard hospital things. it just didn't seem right to call it green, sort of like it doesnt seem right to call the sea green as people do sometimes. i think that maybe just me. this poem (practically) cleared up this pressing ambiguity for me, haha.

Lastly, thank you very much for your review. I usually return the favor no matter how terrible the work of the reviewee, but I will definitely frequent your homepage, because honestly these poems make me happy inside. :)

Peace out.
Chidaruma Kamisori chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
Very tricky.

I like it.

-C.K.
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