Reviews for Sunken
Alec Emerine chapter 3 . 7/1/2014
Hi, I'm MetiorIce, and I'm writing about a merboy too, and a bunch of other stuff. I like your story, and I think you should continue to work hard on it. I have also worked really hard on grammar for my chapters, and I think I might have some good advice for you. You should probably set aside a day for each individual chapter to reread, add to, and edit it. I have also noticed missing words that would make sentences make more sense, improve syntax. The ABC Grammar Check can also help you make chapters clearer by pointing out verbs that could be simplified and made easier to read. I would also be interested in what you think of my story Where the Tides Take Us. It's been a while sense anyone let me know what they thought, and I would appreciate a review if you have time. However, I'm currently editing a ton of my work because I didn't edit as I went. You should decide if you want to spend a long time editing a ton of chapters or edit as you go. It's your choice.
Loor101 chapter 6 . 11/16/2008
OH! I remember seeing this on some other site!

I REALLY liked this story!

and I'm also very Smad (sad and mad)you never finished it! :(

Please, for the sake of your readers update this!

We really wanna see what happens next!

Please!

~Loor
Mayu-San-Sakura chapter 6 . 2/24/2008
Cool, your grammar could improve a little, but it is pretty interesting. Update soon.
Sonyashinto chapter 3 . 2/10/2007
This story sounds pretty interesting, i can't wait to read more. please update soon.

Ja-Ne _
Frayed-Wires chapter 3 . 2/6/2007
Well, the most problems that you have lay within your paragraph structures. For example:

"I thought that I saw him leaving the village before the storm hit." Aro's tanned face paled.

"What?"

Should be changed to:

"I thought that I saw him leaving the village before the storm hit."

"What?" Aro's tanned face paled.

Keeping the person's dialogue with the character who is speaking. Your story is quite interesting, but the way that you write may be the reason behind your lack of reviews. Your errors, as you age, will be corrected in due time... as long as you keep on rereading your pieces, compare them to other stories, and continue on writing. Don't give up.