|Reviews for Love Poems|
| Dustin chapter 2 . 12/25/2008
cliche's spelled backwards become unwritten truths.
i dont know i didn't notice before.
| daniellegypt chapter 1 . 11/26/2008
I, personally, like the first edit better. I like the way you talk about enigmas rather than cliches. It's a very pretty poem :]
| Samana chapter 2 . 2/14/2007
wow. amazing. it leaves me speechless. you're a great poet no matter what you think. this is as good and better than anything i've ever written. whatever publisher doesn't publish this is incompentent. peace
| tuieri chapter 1 . 2/10/2007
i love taking cliches and switching them so they are no longer cliches but still familiar... lovelovelove.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 2/6/2007
Hey. You reviewed one of the articles over at Stop the Press a while ago and said that you'd like to submit. Well, as of right now, Stop the Press has stalled due to lack of submissions. I thought I might ask if you wanted to write an article for the current issue: Wit.
Oh, and also I'm going to review your poem.
1)"the answers we beautiful but" I think you want 'were' in place of 'we'.
2)"we held hearts instead of hands, and kissed love instead of each other" Darn good line.
3)"is simpler and more complex than calculus. if we can't figure out our
simplest enigma, how can we know why the earth spins?" There a lot of ideas jammed in that. Which is cool, but it can also be just a bit confusing.
4)"when was the last time life took you
over to the counter, lifted you up & said 'pick out the one you
like" Another excellent line. Love the image of life as a clerk at a candy store.
5) And I like the end of the poem, too. Nice concept: "romance might be a bad idea, but that's not going to stop me". Keep writing.
| CeceGoddardismyGod chapter 1 . 1/28/2007
ooh, I like! Very abstract, I can never write anything abstract. I always wwrite things that are very obvious. Personally, I think abstract is better. I love the line: "we held hearts instead of hands, and kissed love instead of
each other" it's so beautiful.
Also, I liked your author profile. I love the names of your instruments. Did you name them all? I'm in a marching band, and we have three bass drums. Last year I played the smallest one, which I had named Fluffy. This year I played the middle one, which my predecessor named Roland.
Keeping You A Secret is amazing, isn't it? Have you read Far From Xanadu, also by Julie Ann Peters? It's almost as good. *grins*
| Kali Sword chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
"We wrote love poems on the plams of our hands and shook, as if we were making a pact of hearts and hopes at a crossroads." This line was perfect. I read that in the summary and said "Whooa! That's so cool! I've gotta read this on!" Purely brilliant. And once I finished reading once more I was astonished "Wow... this was amazing." This one defiantly deserves compliments on each part! So here we go.
"We hoped to find the questions. The answers we beautiful be fleeting, carried on butterfly wings that, like time, can never stand still." I LOVED the referance to time there. This line was a little choppy not sure if it was intended or not (I'm guessing not because it doesn't make much sense). In life we are always looking to find the answers to our questions but you said "We hoped to find the questions" and with that it put it into perspective that sometimes we really don't know what kind of questions to ASK in the first place. Very interesting concept that we are still in the dark about what questions to even ask! Let alone try to find the answers. And the butterfly refferance was a beautiful simile that was perfect. Except for the fact that the life of a butterfly is short in comparison to the eternalness of time. But once you've seen a butterfly in all it's beauty it remains with you forever.
"We held hearts instead of hands," this is great considering the first line was that "We wrote love poems on the palms of our hands and shook" like your hands held your heart. "And kissed love instead of each other" usually when kissing a person you'd like to think that you're kissing a person but a true romantic is more or less kissing the idea of love and the thought of love rather than JUST kissing a person. But if you are dispassionate about WHOM you are kissing and you just think that you are in "love" then you've just kissed Love instead of the other person.
"I had a theory, and you counter example. "Love," I said, "Is simpler and more complex than calculus," oh boy is it EVER! "If we can't figure out our simplest enigma, how can we know why the earth spins?"" Good question! I don't know how. The idea that we can't even understand the basic functionings of our own being and yet we try to comprehend the things that are much more complex then ourselves... very strange creatures we are.
"(I know that some things are beyond reason, beyond hope, beyond our very existance. All you said was that maybe the most simlistic is the most complex, and that perhaps some people don't know WHAT they want)" who the hell DOES know what they want? If they do they truly are lucky people.
"I didn't. All I could say was 'When was the last time life took you over to the counter, lifted you up and said 'Pick out the one you like?'" This is like the greatest quote in the world! I love it! It's perfect. As if life could be the life you wanted and picked out... but would you be truly happy with that life? Maybe. Maybe not. I think life should hold a huge eliment of surprise!
"Stalemate. Then we wrote more love poems on the palms of our hands of a love misguided, misdriected, misinterpreted, misjuded, mistaken... but definatly not MISSED" I love this too. This is great because over half the time people love just to love some one or thing. There is no rhyme or reason for it. But they still do. I think this story/poem reflects the event that you love someone so much even though it was really bad for you, completly wrong, and all these reasons but you don't miss it. You're not sad that you did love but you don't want to return to that either. "Kissing love but not each other" is a terrible thing to do if you are really looking for a loving relationship...
But then again... what IS love anyway?
| bipedalcooney chapter 1 . 1/17/2007
Absolutely beautiful. I love the balance between powerful imagry and the lingering message. The part, ""love," i said,
"is simpler and more complex than calculus. if we can't figure out our simplest enigma, how can we know why the earth spins?", is just so well put and beautifully said. Amazing work with this, I love it and I'm adding it to my favorites. Keep writing!
| Samana chapter 1 . 1/16/2007
wow. thats amazing touching and just... wow. makes so much sense. poetic in every since of the word. makes me think a lot. you never ease to impress. my favorite yet. i love it. all i can really say is wow.
| shelina chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
Wow. WOW. This completely blew me away. It's amazingly written and raw and I love your originality. It feels incredibly real and I can relate to it. I was going to type out one of my favorite parts but I couldn't pick. Love it, love it, love it. Definitely going on my favorites.