Uhm hey, I didn't read your story but I just wanted to point out that there are a lot of errors in your summary and even one in the title. (It should be spelled "eventually".)

I took a look at the first chapter and even though the plot seems rather generic I think more people would read and review your story if you got someone to proofread it.
If you want to attract more readers you should correct the summary first. Capitalize the pronoun 'I', insert some commas and put a space after the ellipsis. "WAIT, what?!" is clarly an exlamation but it ist also a question, so add an interrogation mark, and put another one at the end of the last sentence.

I hope you can see this review as helpful and don't take offense in anything I wrote.

Have a nice day!
a-ko

the story's great...minus the wrong grammar...but hey you can always edit it...-"

will you make a sequel?...i was wondering what'll happen to the other characters...oh and her mom too...and he's dad?...0"

wow... I love it... its so amazing... I'm a newbie so I can't post my stories yet but I'm glad I got to read urs.

aw so very adorable!

they would make such a cute couple

and she did NOT kiss Adam back

xD

Sorry, but your grammar and spelling is HORRIBLE! This is really predictable and the plot is so overused; hte "perfect girl" gets together with the "perfect guy".

awesome story!u might want to work on your grammar a little more though,but anyway great story!it was funny and interesting

Ok.

First I'd like to point out that writing is about practicing and practicing, and everyone could use work.

Now... I'm sure you've got a very good plot and I hope you're characters are fully formed; however I didn't get the chance to see any of this, because I couldn't go past the first chapter.

This is not a flame. I would never flame anyone, and I hope you continue writing, and writing this story but it needs work.

Your paragraphs are oddly formatted(it's probaly because you double spaced, just don't do that) and your sentences run on or stop in the middle of a thought. You seem to leave out imporant words too. such as the very first sentence:

"I gave a loud sigh straighten my already straiten brown hair then begin to check every detail of my self in my bedroom mirror."

its straightening. And you could use a comma or a semi colan in this sentence. Perhaps a comma after "I gave a loud sigh" to add "oomph" to the statement.

“Ladies and Gentle this is are final no the sounds horrible!” I yelled reading off my note cards, which were

printed very neatly.

It's gentlemen and after that I really don't know what you meant. I suppose you meant "this is our final" as in to own not then I think you meant "That" instead of "the" because "the" makes no sense.

"Sadly this is and forever will be my life you might be a bit confused why someone like me would have alife like I do well simple I have no other choice. "

This whould be two sentence or broken up with comma or semi colan. like this: Sadly this is,and and forever will be my might be a bit confused as to why someone like me woulc have a like like I do: well simple I have no choice.

if you're bad at grammer than please get a beta and please look over your work. You mostly need to work on spelling, grammer, forgetting small words such as the, confusing words that sound alike, run on sentences and sentences or paragraphs that have two subjects. Some of the lines you wrote would be bueatiful if they were edited for such things as I mentioned.

The thing that bothered me the most and I beg you to change is your summary. It's riddled with mistakes and its your summary! A summary is what gets you readers, you have a bad summary; you have nothing. A writer has two maybe three sentences to entice people with, it has to be your best.

I'm perfect and i hate it no i don't robot perfect but close. And not my Mom is leaving the country. My bestfriend is jelous cause Adam hottest guy is talking to me asking which floor i want to live on...WAIT what! And what is with that white haired guy?

It doesn't make much sense for one. While you want to have your readers guessing, they have to like it enough to do so. Really though that's not your problem, the quirkyness of it is cute and I'm sure you would recieve reviewers who thought it was funny. Mistakes need to be correct though. Lower case I's make writers seem foolish and its nor correct. You spelt jealous wrong.

"And not my Mom is leaving the country." I think you meant now instead of "not" there.

Also you left out a THE here "Adam hottest guy",the hottest guy adam or Adam the hottest guy.

I'm sorry I have no idea what you meant here:and i hate it no i don't robot perfect but close.

I know you won't be happy with this review, but I am doing you a huge favor. I'm sure alot of people saw this and just didn't feel like taking the time out to help you. I honestly believe you could have a good story but you need to work on it. I'm not going to address characters or plot lines, in all honesty I didn't look for them. Your editing needs to improve before your characters or plot really matter.

I suggest you take this story down for the time being. Get a beta, rewrite a few things and put it back up. When you do, I think it might be wise to start with a more enticing begining.

Good luck!

And If you don't flame me after this and actually start to edit it; you can always pm me for help, I would be happy to.