Reviews for Perfect Solider
Colton M. H chapter 6 . 10/7/2007
Good story! Can't wait for more!
MaDMaS22 chapter 2 . 2/17/2007
"I bet you never thought you’d wake up, stark naked, led in a tube of freezing water with two women looking down at you with smiling faces. Well admittedly they weren’t the most beautiful women I had seen before, but neither the less, women."

The Shift from "you" to "I" is Jarring. am I supposed to be the one in the pool (You) or is the character that is speaking to me through the story (I).

"this one different from the " you are missing a 'was'

"I checked it in my mind and 'forgot about it for now.'(this is a fallacy in tense. the easiest fix is dropping the for now."

"“So, any of you got a cig? Or a light for that matter?” you see being naked I kind of didn’t have my cigs or a light. Or any dignity for that matter."

Try to avoid using the same word so close together.

Ok i recommend a heavy comb over of this chapter. it needs editing bad. I like your sense of humor it's on par with what normally makes me laugh.

But like I said you really need to re edited this chapter in particular because it is the chapter that people read first. If they are put off here then they wont read the rest of your story you know.

So thats my review. if you are in fact going to return review for review please take a look at my story Where Angles Fear to Tread I could really use some reviews on that one. Thanks happy writing

Stubert chapter 1 . 2/13/2007
Good but hurry up and do the next chapter P

learn to spell

smurf 09 chapter 6 . 2/12/2007
hey shelly,

as usual quite funny although in the sutuation they were in, it purhaps shouldn't have been.

keep going !

p.s read mine when it will let me post it lol
renagade master chapter 1 . 2/9/2007
hey shel kl story you better keep writing otherwise i have wasted my time reading them.