|Reviews for Being Dead Makes Me Act Weird|
| guess who's back babies chapter 2 . 2/6/2007
poor perverted ghost that can't get dying right
you're doing really good I like Lisa and her adventure into ghost-human relationships!
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 2 . 2/5/2007
Okay, I was going to save this chapter for tomorrow, but I was sort of curious. Plus, I love the hell out of short chapters. When the scroll bar isn't even a centimeter long, that's when I start getting worried. rofl
[Wait, that ‘love’ part wasn’t supposed to be in there. Gawd, being dead is making me desperate.] How come other characters in other stories aren't as honest as this? Again, I've only seen this a few times. Usually a character equates sexual attraction with love, and it gets upsetting when they start rationalizing. I like this self-aware narrator. She's cool and smooth.
[This time I’ve dropped the temperature nearly twenty degrees in under two minutes. Michael’s shivering increases in violence.] Dude, that's friggin'ass awesome! I thought she'd only try for five degrees or something, but twenty is intense-maybe too intense. But he's shivering violently, which lends to the gravity and seriousness of her supernatural presence.
[Second of all: he moved so quickly that he actually walked through me in order to get to his dresser. Somehow I think I’ve felt something similar to this before back when I was alive.] Wait... was Michael REALLY her boyfriend in real life? Maybe he's going to spark some memories. What if she like, remembers he was some grade-A jerk and remembers to exact revenge or something. I mean, he IS living in the apartment. What if he brings home a girl and Lisa suddenly snaps or something-hoh man, it's over.
[I’d be utterly demoralized if I wasn’t so pissed off.] ROFL me too. Some lady with cat-rimmed glasses and a bowl haircut would probably raise a palm toward the heavens and say: "the feeling of going unnoticed, unloved." and she would receive a feral, loud cry from all other women and men in the universe. ROFL
Shit, crap, she woke him up again. I wonder what it must sound like in his ear drums to hear her yell in a galactic, far-stretching scream like that. Or maybe it's sort of like, a loud ringing in the ears accompanied with a whisper. Man, that really freaks me out.
I loved the detail about Lisa holding her breath out of habit. I would do that, too, even if I was dead.
[A nebulous conglomeration of consciousness and emotions hovering uselessly between the physical and spiritual planes.] You should put this dictionary in Urban and I'm not even kidding. In fact, it would be awesome if you did. It's such an awesome explanation for ghosts.
[I can’t believe I’m a ghost with a fear of rejection.] Beautiful. Man, I really love this Lisa chick. She could molest me any time. lmao
[“Hello?” he calls out softly, curiously, and I can tell from the look on his face that he feels a little ridiculous for it.] Dude, LOL Poor guy.
[In this case, literally, as I throw myself to the floor. / For the rest of the morning, I am literally silent as the grave.] "Literally" is used twice. Maybe the "literary" in the second line should be taken out, so that way we could have a little silent chuckle to ourselves. I seriously love Lisa. She's so awesome.
[I can’t let that happen. I’ve got to get to him first. My pity-party is so officially over.] Yeah! You've got to tie him up and scare him into marrying you even if it means making him a ghost, too. Dundundun
I was thinking about the contact thing-I'm thinking back on The Sixth Sense and stories my ma used to tell all of us about how we could talk to people while they're asleep. My ma and her whole family used to be able to talk to my great-aunt while she was asleep, and she'd have a conversation with them and tell all of them what was going on as if she were giving some sort of tour of her dream or something. LOL Isn't that freakish? In the day time though, she did practically nothing but mill around the house and read books all day, so it isn't so surprising that she could connect her dream world and her physical world so effortlessly. I think Lisa should try this. I like her truthfulness, even when she's impulsive about the whole winning Michael over thing.
She is such a cool character!
I wonder what's going to happen in the next chapter? Well, I guess I'll just have to wait!
The character exposition is well-paced; like, a memory per chapter, which is awesome enough for me-it's not super speedy like, friggin', something happens every five minutes. I like the pacing, and what makes it such an easy and insightful read is the self-awareness and humor of Lisa. Without her, this story wouldn't be the same. Had the story chosen a more brooding character or a shallow character, I don't know if I would still be able to find it endearing.
Lisa is a friggin' blessing.
Thank you for another awesome read, ST_Prove!
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
Your summary snagged me. I'm such a pervert. rofl
I thought this was going to start off in an extremely dark way, starting with her death or something, but it starts off just like the summary, which is rare. I've read quite a few stories, but you never see the actually premise in the first chapter or the introduction.
Present tense and the first person perspective go hand in hand so well, so I'm glad to see it. [So this is what I’m reduced to... an eternity lustfully haunting a man who I can’t touch and who can’t even see me.] This sounds like a French existentialist play. roflmao It's excellent.
[I couldn’t even get dying right] LOL I like this narrator already. I'm still thanking Buddha that this story didn't have that nitty-gritty noir feel. The Narrator's (subtle) sense of humor is actually my favorite kind. It's not really out there and it doesn't need a specific timing, it's actually present in the characterization. I like that she feels more sorry for herself than for the people she loves because she can't remember, and I like that she pities the fact that she's not a conventional ghost-ghosts are completely fixated, and redundant, too. This narrator, this Lisa chick has tons more character than any old ghost. rofl
[I love watching him shower. That probably makes me a creep for not respecting his privacy but it’s not like he knows I’m here. And what else have I got to do?] It's so surprising that I'm not getting that creepy, voyeuristic vibe from this scene. Ghosts and zombies really creep me the fuck out. I watched Pan's Labryrinth and I was totally buzzed. I couldn't take it. I think it's because of the light-heartedness of the narration that makes the scene funnier than creepier. It's the candor of the narrator, I mean.
And damn, being a ghost bound to one place must suck a hell of a lot.
[Incidentally, I have found that I do not require a physical body to be incredibly turned on.] ROFL!
[But then he reaches out a hand and wipes away the fog and my hard work with it. / Damn] Friggin'ass damn jock, care about your dead pseudo girlfriend! She was trying to write you a message of love.
You know what I really like? The time increments. It feels like this poor narrator's really got nothing to do, so time passes by hella slow. I'm sort of apprehensive though for later chapters where documenting time will become more difficult, but I think whatever happens in future chapters will be really good.
Another thing I like is how direct and un-virginish this character is. I was starting to get upset at the lack of perverted, straightforward characters. There's a story called What Superstars Are Made Of, and the sex scene is tasteful but the actual character herself is really like, slutty and aggressive. I totally loved it. It wasn't this frufru sex thing where the girl's gonna start crying. Angry, straightforward, somewhat perverted. My favorite type. lmao
[I do not watch the game. But I do watch him holler at the players on the TV. I snicker when he does his own private victory dance in celebration for his winning team.] Michael's her T.V. Shit, it must be nuts being followed around by a ghost. What if he does something unflattering and scatalogical? I wonder if Lisa would find that sort of thing offensive or funny.
[He picks up his dishes and cha-cha-cha’s back to the kitchen to clean up after himself.] LOL
Ah! Character exposition almost passed right under my nose; it was a detail about his friends not being able to see his kiddish little victory dance. Maybe home's the only place he could be himself. I wonder where he works? Somewhere pretty damn sophisticated if he's doing a private victory dance. Poor guy.
[In my case all that means is that my presence lowers the air temperature a couple degrees wherever I’m standing. Oh, yes. Very powerful. (I suspect I was a rather sarcastic person when I was alive.)] LOL Hey, if Lisa thinks about it, it is pretty creepy to be able to lower the temperature like that. A fish dies with a slight degree change like that!
ROFL! She's gonna man-handle him!
Damn, it's already at the bottom of the page; she could talk about anything and I'd probably listen to her. You know what I'm thinking? The narrative is in present tense because it's as if she's reliving the same day over and over again. I don't know, it just seems to fit so well with her character and her situation, and her humor comes out even more because it's so direct. I'm in love with this narrative. There are three other stories that seem to capture my eye in this same, unassuming manner, and I really admire it.
Oh! And concerning the author's note:
Thursday or Friday are always prime days for me; Never, since I've started college, have I ever picked classes that fall on a Friday, and Thursday's my favorite day of the week! I might work on Friday, but never school. Friday's vacation time. Hopefully it's the same for you and everyone else who is reading this story!
And don't change the title-not just yet. Right now, it sets the story up in an awesome, quirky way.
Thank you very much for your-no, I think I'll keep that to a review reply. Thank you VERY MUCH for the awesome read. That was so fun, roflmao.
Rock on, ST_Prove.
| whateva123 chapter 2 . 2/3/2007
u have 2 rocking chapters and the story is very soo putting this story on soon.
| Wind in the West chapter 1 . 2/3/2007
After rereading the chapter, I now understand the part I didn't get a first (see review). Forgiveme , I'm just a blonde, who is barely awake yet.
P.S. Title is allright. Don't change it:-).
| Wind in the West chapter 2 . 2/3/2007
Very good. Your writing is realistic. I like it, and I'm normally not keen on the use of present tense.
I like ghost stories, but the ones I've read (can't find many on FP) don't deal realistically with being a ghost (For example, no human is ever really scared when she/he sees a ghoost). Yours does.
The idea of giving her mightnight powers is cool by the way. Haven't read that before.
You capture the feeling of loneliness very well. The girl (does she still know her own first name? Or has she named herself?) is very strong in my opinion. I would 'died' (if that was possible) from loneliness and boredom a long time ago if I was her.
Normally I don't like time indications the way you write them, but in this case, they really have to be in the story :-).
" Excuse me?” I demand, “Don’t you think it’s a little rude to walk through someone and not even apologize?” He settles back into the bed, cuddling the blankets up around his chin.
“Hey! You think being sexy makes it alright for you to be a mother fucking bastard?” He rolls onto his side, turning his back to me. Now I’m really starting to get mad.
“Michael. Michael!” I scream, and I feel the sound echo through several layers of spiritual cosmos. Michael instantly sits up in bed, eyes wide open searching the darkness for the voice that woke him. I can tell that adrenaline is pumping through him right now."
This part I didn't quite get. Micheal doesn't see her right? The first time he hears her, is when she screams his name.
So, how does he knows she is sexy? Or am I being confused and does he talk about another girl he knows and talks about?
I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
| Once upon a smile chapter 2 . 2/3/2007
Want to see more! I'd hate to be in that situation trapped and invisible. Can't wait to next chapter! Glad you're keeping the title. It's funky and unique, I don't think anyone else has it.
| tlw1 chapter 2 . 2/3/2007
I like the blend of humor she has in dealing with her feelings. I hope you'll continue this - I've enjoyed it so far.
| the rocket apple chapter 2 . 2/2/2007
Ha! Love it!
Very amusing, albeit kinda trippy.
| Ryumiko-chan chapter 2 . 2/2/2007
This is so cool! Very original story idea! Can't wait to see what happens next!
| Write a Wrong chapter 2 . 2/2/2007
Brilliant idea. Original. Creative. Why doesn't English have many more words to say that with?
I really want to know what happens next! Don't leave me hanging like I'm a ghost or something! :)
| Once upon a smile chapter 1 . 1/28/2007
DON'T CHANGE THE TITLE! It was the title that caught my eye, the summary interested me and the first chapter to get me hooked!
Update whatever day you want to... just soon- pretty please!
| j.c-chic chapter 1 . 1/28/2007
LOVE THE CLIFFHANGER!
| guess who's back babies chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
Wow I've never seen anything like this before.
| A Sophisticated Legacy chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
Wow, very unique! I can't wait for another chapter, this is going on my Favorite Stories.