Reviews for None of That
jesus chapter 1 . 2/8/2007
you have incredible talent.

you are an amazing writer

you have alot of talent

and dont ever give it up
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/7/2007
I love that you were able to take something like breathing and make into such an intense piece. The way everything weaves in and out and back into itself again is just fantastic. It's a very solid piece. Nice work. Keep writing! :)
Hilmary-Oceans chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
Wow. This story creates such a sensation, like with every breath that it takes to just read through it feels so heavy and dense ... intense. The atmosphere feels suffocating in a way, a complete contradiction towards the fact that 'breathing' is repeated. Another great poem by you!

xoxo

Hilmary-Oceans
eldrin chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
Excellent repetition and adjective use (especially in those last 10, 11 lines). They add so much to this heavy intensity. good piece.