Well good luck with your exams and your work and stuff. I'm going to be really sad since I won't have a computer for a month by the end of this week so I won't be able to read any of your updates for a while. Oh well. Anyway good luck! I'll have so much catching up to do that I'm actually really excited about it. I just hope you update by that time. Update! Good luck!

hi, the story is great, when are u going to update?

I like it! Update soon!

coolio

Hey! Just wanted to drop by to review (although no new updates -starts crying-) Just kidding!

Well to start off, I have to say that I like your story very much )

For the post of this "Annoying Review" I would have to say some stuff were a bit ridiculous.

But I also checked and the girl is only 13 years old, so probably you shouldn't consider being that annoyed about it (but hey, who am I to speak about how you should feel P)

And also for her to suggest for an editor, you could just tell her that you wouldn't need her help - though I'm sure you already pin-point that.

There are a couple of grammar error and spelling errors here and there, but they're easy to fix; I don't think you'll need a beta editor for that.

And I have to say, for a girl my age, I also tend to say some...words that aren't supposed to be in an "average teen's vocab."

The best way to addressing a point in my point a view, would also have to be capitalized letter, just don't over use them and you'll be fine. Italic is also very good. Bold to me is okay when used in a story.

So yea, that's just about it.

Happy writing! )

Well, first of all, I agree with the semicolon bits needing to be changed to commas and caps are okay so long as they're not overused. You weren't overusing them. I've read other fics that have overused the amount of caps and it got rather annoying, hehe.

Also, if you want to emphasise, you could use italics instead. But when someone's having a rant, in my opinion caps are better to get the point across.

Anyhow, I spotted some mistakes here and there and it's not something that proofreading can't fix, so not that problematic.

Now, about the content of the story.

Ooh is Jemmykins, dare I say it, gealous? Oh dear. He's infatuated with out little Alyssa, aw. But I have to agree with him, I don't trust Ben either. He suddenly appeared after the events and I remember Dave having a sidekick, and he could be it. I mean the lot were good actors, why shouldn't Ben be? I mean a person who is terrified of girls, or prefers to distance himself from them. No one would ever suspect him to cause harm to another girl, like Alyssa.

And I seriously was not expecting Steve to actually care about Alyssa's wellbeing. I mean he was trying to sell her stuff. Or maybe he just liked pestering her? Interesting.

I wonder if Callum is alive. Or did he run away with Becca. T_T

Anyhow, keep up the good work! I can't wait till the next chappie! D

gulistanlik

I bet you Ben is after Alyssa as well. I bet you he's the sidekick of Dave. Great.

update update udpate! haha i love your story. my favorite character is jay. i just love the guy man. he's so funny. yo, please don't tell me that this new guy is a bad guy. please oh please!

I get your annoyed but dedicating a whole chapter to an annoying review? The girl who sent the review is only 13 years old. (I checked. And I'm not saying she was right or anything.) And it's not a flame so you shouldn't be so upset. Sorry, I just feel like I have to defend her a little bit. I don't think the person meant it to be rude or annoying. She probably just didn't understand English dialect, etc.

(Nonetheless, the story is great...minor errors and all.)

this is a really good story soo far. I LOvee Jem! hhah

I really like your story so far. I think it's creative and interesting. Don't worry about nits like the one you quoted in your annoying review chapter. Some people don't actually understand writing, hence the comman issues this person appears to have. I can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck!

Oh, annoying reviews . The person who left that seemed to be more interested in giving you their opinion on how to write rather than straight grammatical information.

I'm assuming that whoever left that comment has never read Harry Potter because JK Rowling is quite a fan of all-caps :) In fact I remember there being entire paragraphs of Harry's ranting in the fifth book that were nothing but capital letters.

And for the record, I (as well as other people I know) use the words 'whilst,' 'therefore,' AND 'unable.' Not to mention I live in Ohio so it's most definitely not just a London thing :)

I'm a bit of a grammar fiend and I tended to agree with you so your rant is definitely justified.

What kind of a twat writes a review like that anyway? There was no kind of commentary on the story at all, which, by the way, I love!

Obviously this person lives in Antarctica with a really excellent internet connection because normal people do talk like that, not just in London but also in a small, countrified region of Australia and, I assume, in other parts also. Therefore once again this person is talking out of their rear.

Even if it wasn't an update I still had fun reading it!

Jorgia.

Honestly ? I thought it was all constructive criticism - apart from the british (London?) accent and the caps lock buisness..- though i think its supposed to be in italics? not sure.. anyway.. :D:D

Holy shizz.:

Srsly. I think if she wants to start beta-ing or something, she should start with herself. I think she's hypocritical. I mean, while shes reviewing you telling you about your supposed wrong grammar, she's the one commiting grammar mistakes. :\

Plus, seriously, just because she doesn't say 'whilst' and 'therefore' and 'unable', doesn't mean that other teens are the same. I say those three words. It just means everyone else has far better vocabulary skills. She probably says 'like' every other three words.

Hmm. I like your story by the way xD

:D Haha.