Reviews for Well, The Thing Is, I'm A Guy
violet-eyez chapter 20 . 4/30/2008
i thought this was a chapter!
I Murder on Impulse chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
Haha peolple like that annoy me too. I don't criticise unless it's absolutely needed lol

Dee chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
her "I think you should run, while she can't talk so she can't say detention"-sentence is more weird than the original and seriously why can't she just enjoy the story! she should stop combing through every little bit of it, she'd enjoy it more (maybe).
Bada-Bing.Bada-Bang chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
I think your story is just fine the way it is. That review kinda pissed me off, actually. Has that reviewer read some of the noobish self-fantasy-fulfilling-cliché-stories that cloud Fictionpress? They should try spending quality "critiquing" time on a story that actually needs it and stop snobishly pretending to be a real editor.
artistic dreamer chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
wow, this interesting thing to read. i guess she never really read anything on fictionpress before since i've seen lots of the things that she corrected before. i understand why you were rude, but if i were you, i would not be able to stand it, i would probably go and yell in her face. hahaha :D anyway, i just want to encourage you and say that i like your stories, though i never got the chance to review any of them, sorry! keep writing, and don't feel discouraged that she pointed out so many (pointless and stupid) mistakes. :)
Daphne.Claire chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
OMG i read that vreview and i think what you have is a real loser reaidng your story. what kind of freak is that, and i am not just saying that to be rude or becuz i am biased or anything. i sometimes tell authors on this website that they need to work on their grammer but thats all i write, i dont take certain parts and analyze it like that. and most of the time when i write those type of reviews its becuase they have too many mispelled words. i dont think you should let that review annoy you to much, she obviously sees your writing as an essay rather than a novel.

besides a lot of these "mistakes" weren't even incorrect.

but what really gets me is what she said about the character speaking to the audience, if anything that draws the reader in, and if it creeped her out she should have stopped reading.

i hate annoying people like her.
SapphireEyes16 chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
girl, i find nothin wrong with the grammer or the wording in you story, it makes perfect sense to me, and itz not only coz i'm from london, no one else has complained either, so don't get too annoyed! cheer up and good luck with the GCSEz!
xMsxUnlucky92 chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I could give some CC for that CC. Quite honestly, I'm a teenager who says "whilst", "unable" and "therefore" [woo, triple threat] and I don't even live in London [American]. I noticed, though, that some of the person's criticism seemed heavily based on their own opinions, and not really on standard English. While some of their points are valid, and I'm sure it was heartfelt [in a way where they wanted to seem like they were helping], some of this criticism appeared very amateur. *shrug* Just my opinion.
maidengarnet chapter 20 . 4/29/2008
Yeah, your critic really should've taken into account that not everyone speaks like an American... and I use 'therefore' and I'm not from London... what's wrong with 'therefore' I ask?
Hopelessly Cliche chapter 20 . 4/29/2008

First off, Yay London! (I'm from London too, woohoo!) lol

Well I totally get what you mean about the 'whilst' and 'unable' bit, my friends and I use those words when we I guess we're not normal...sighs...

You're story is great, and a few mistakes means your a human, we all make mistakes! (Some of those mentioned weren't even mistakes...but I'm not going to get into that lol)

Hope you update soon! :D

I Murder on Impulse chapter 19 . 4/28/2008
Haha at least you're still writing
KaiaLeigh chapter 2 . 4/28/2008
Great job
KaiaLeigh chapter 1 . 4/28/2008
Interesting story so far... :)
heartfeltlove chapter 1 . 4/28/2008
Here are a few mistakes I noticed.

Finally!” Rebecca, yawned as she stretched her arms out to the sound of the bell, wearing the lilac-coloured uniform that we were forced to wear.

You started that sentence off in narrative when you said rebecca then you switched to first person when you said "we".

If you are writing in first person you have to put "I" rather the persons name.

"we even protested to have a different kind…any kind of "

You should put a comma, instead of "..."

Also try not to have the charater talk to the reader, It tends to creep the reader out.

"small terraced house, housing only 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a kitchen, a living room and a study."

You shouldn't put "house" and "housing" right after eachother. Try phrasing the sentance another way.

‘OVER-PROTECTIVE PARENTS’ Try not to write in all caps, If you want to make a point put " " around the words and a exclamation at the end.

"She’s a good two inches taller than me," You say she's two inches taller than the narrator but you don't say how tall the narrator is.

once again the heroine of our story undoubtly short... Why doesn't anyone ever have their main female as a girl over 5'5?


"just below is nose"

Did you mean 'his'

"tired of me in 1 day; 2 days max"

You should have put a comma rather a semi colon.

"What even are frontal winds"

That doesn't make sense you might want to put "what are frontal winds anyway?"

"If you had stopped poking me with that damn pencil whilst we were watching the video, asking me who I thought was hotter, Leonardo DiCaprio or Leonardo Da Vinci-”

Come on, What normal teenage girl says "whilst"? Do you mean While?

"How could I ever forget the love of my life; my sweet Callum!”

You need a comma, not a semi colon.

" it was like his virtue to piss Becca off."

Virtue isn't the right word to use there. Maybe it was his duty,job,life calling?

"Get OUT!” Again try not to use all caps.

"think,” I whispered to him, “that you should run whilst she’s unable to speak, therefore she will be unable to say ‘detention’.”

Again with the whilst. Also a good tip is to write how you speak. Do you honestly know anyone that says "therefore and unable"

I think the sentance should sound something like "I think you should run, while she can't talk so she can't say detention" I think that sounds a little more realistic.


All caps.

"Oh god; I was"


I'm so sorry for editing your whole first chapter, But it's just a thing with me... :)

But I think this is going to be a really good story, It has a really good plot line, It just needa a little work. .

With that being said, Do you need someone to edit/beta for you?

Cause if you do just let me know.
Hopelessly Cliche chapter 19 . 4/28/2008

Thought this was a update, but it's all good! Hope you do good in your exams! :D

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