Reviews for Overrated Expectations
Isca chapter 1 . 2/7/2009
"I could never fit your mold." Bitter. Honest. Angsty.

"Who dreams of pleasing you, even though no one can." Fabulous final line!

I liked the first line. The profanity used caught the reader's attention. I liked that you didn't use captialization either.
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
I find cursing (not over-cursing) brings a certain impact to poetry when not over-used or over-done. This is a good poem. Full of emotion, power, and imagery. I also relate to this feeling myself. Good job. Peace.
lymli chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
i never was a princess,

no matter how much make-up

or party dresses you forced me into,

i could never fit your mold.

well, if he wants to change things about you, that's not love, strong poem, girlpower :D
deefective chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
Flow: The flow at the beginning was extremely smooth and it all fit nicely. The only thing is at the last stanza, to me, it felt a bit choppy. Not obviously so but just a bit.

Technical Aspects: Also, since there are no capitals at all in this I think it adds to it because the poem is really emotional and without capitals the emotion is more raw and less structured.

Stanzas: I noticed that every stanza was shorter than the last one. It fits the piece well though.

Descriptions/Images: You used really good imagery throughout. It really captured what fairy tales are all about and why they really are just overrated expectations

Word Choice: You had extremely good word choices in the first and second stanza. It got me hooked on reading it right away. But I found towards the end, especially the last line, it was like every other "love sucks" poem. Maybe it's because I've read too many of those but still, it was a bit cliche.

Enjoyment: I enjoyed reading this. It was well-written and original.

Poetic Devices: I think the fact that you didn't make it rhyme added to the emotion of this piece. Emotions don't always have to rhyme. And again, it makes it more raw and less structured.

Subject: What I basically got out of this was that love sucks and you're tired of it. You did a good job of bringing that out.

Other: All in all this was an exceptional poem and it was well-written. And I really liked it. Good job.
01015073 chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
I like this poem. It is true. and thanks for the advice about seperating my poems into seperate docs.
GothicSpook chapter 1 . 11/16/2007
I love it! Very passinate and expressive! I love how you fit the fairty romance in to it and then say fuck it! Made me smile!

x
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 1/31/2007
Is not the beginning of love the freedom of not being saved? Of being yourself and yet themselves? Transcendence without losing independence? I don't know: tell me when you find it. m