|Reviews for End Of The Hallway|
| SanchezC chapter 5 . 2/27/2007
Sixteen? More than Coloumbine. The two crazies with the guns must be pretty good shots and using .40 handguns. 9mm cartridge doesn't have that much stopping power. Guessing the girl was shot in the thigh, some major artery there I think. You need information on firearms let me know. Keep up the good work.
| Patch72 chapter 5 . 2/17/2007
Chapter four...some scary stuff...excellent job describing the cafeteria. I got chills.
| phon chapter 5 . 2/16/2007
I loved this chapter. It can be hard to get realistic reactions to things like finding a room full of corpses, but I do believe you've done it I really like this story, so keep it up! And thanks for the review
| Meer der Sterne chapter 5 . 2/16/2007
Michael seemed to handle the massacre better than Anna, but I guess you have to take into consideration that he planned on doing something like that himself. He did pale some, so he's realizing that it is a bad thing.
I like how you have a survivor. Honestly, if I was in a school shooting I'd play dead and crawl somewhere once they're gone, or try to stop them. Depends what mood I'm in...
Anyway! Lovely chapter. I'd say keep writing but you've already written it out. Keep up the good editting? There.
| Meer der Sterne chapter 4 . 2/11/2007
You have a very powerful story going on here. You know where your characters are coming from and that's a very good thing. I like Anna, she sounds sweet.
| Hidden but Seen by All chapter 3 . 2/11/2007
Besides the bad language(sp?) this is getting interesting
| Hidden but Seen by All chapter 2 . 2/11/2007
ok this is HORRIBLE! (what's happening not the story sorry just realized how that might sound)
| Hidden but Seen by All chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
| SanchezC chapter 4 . 2/8/2007
Well. You're story is pretty good. Like that you've stuck to basic terms concerning the handgun (gun nut). Usually people pull what they know from TV and video games. I have to disagree with one statement, excluding places addressed in carry laws.
'Generally, people that brought firearms into a public place were dangerous.' Know a couple people with a license to carry. They're good people who follow laws to the letter. Like to mention something of interest. Law enforcement are people too, and some officers are not as safe with loaded firearms as most citizens. Any way, story is good. Keep up the good work.
| Vexi chapter 3 . 2/8/2007
I'm changing my Fictionpress name, it's like this only temporarily so stories I've reviewed with my old name will know I haven't abandoned them lol.. so in the future I'm just vexi now because my original was boring and crap. I think this is my fave chapter so far. That "satyagraha" works.. a girl in my year tried to pick on me randomly so I just kinda blanked her out and ignored evil sarcasm, kept smiling at her and she stopped the next day and apologised for being a bitch! Characters are really good and realistic
| Irene Wolfe chapter 4 . 2/7/2007
O_O Wow, I was just browsing through the stories and found this one. And I love it! I can't wait for you to update again. It saya I should put in some sort of critique but my mind is blank at this moment.
| Patch72 chapter 4 . 2/7/2007
I must say, I started this story and had EXTREMLY low hopes. But I must say it's quite the opposite. I like how well you translate the characters feelings and body languge to the reader. Keep up the good work!
| Alasse Buchanan chapter 3 . 2/7/2007
Well, I guess you are right about the gun statistics thing. Thanks for looking at my stories, too! Update soon, please!
| ghostlygeorge chapter 3 . 2/7/2007
I think you captured Ana's skepticism really well, and you showed that she was tired of it all and willing to try and change her approach. Ana's character is full of depth, that's hard to do well, but you did it.
I LOVE it!
| ghostlygeorge chapter 2 . 2/6/2007
Wow very powerful, I really need to see what happens to Anna
p.s. thanks for the review!