|Reviews for Dance of the Chimera|
| Pivoine chapter 4 . 4/15/2007
It's an interesting story...I like it, especially for the unique atmosphere and world you have created. and it's good that the pace is slow for now. I've always appreciated stories with a slow development. I only wish that you stress more on the mysterious and dark side of your chapters, and on prejudices. Sometimes, I think that Taverus or Knox overcome too easily their prejudices (only by a smile or a laugh...). Anyway, the last chapter was definitely my favorite (description of creatures, mystery around the merecreature, taverus' reaction to the boor...I love all of this!) I'm looking forward the next chapter quite impatiently!
| Now-Closed chapter 4 . 4/5/2007
X3 Taverus, you girly dork. *hugs him* For some reason, The Siren by Nightwish pops up as a theme for this story in my brain...
| Noihseret chapter 3 . 3/23/2007
I have to say the House of Knox is pretty cool. I like how you described it. (call me weird but the spiders seemed so cute!)
"Sir Taverus is here to see you."
"Me or my books?"
lol. nice, Knox
great chapter! I'm looking forawrd to more.
| Now-Closed chapter 3 . 3/21/2007
YEY! New chapter! O, culture clash! XD
“He had sun brown skin.” I think that should be browned.
“Put up in a fashionable plate.” As far as I know, that should be “plait”. Plate makes me think of dishes.
“It is quite rare.
It does appear almost silver or grey, doesn't it?” Hmm. That break sort of jerks me up short and breaks the fluency.
"though I should say, at times, neither can I..." Though should be capitalized.
"I can"t read this.” Oops! Quotation instead of apostrophe! (I do the same thing...)
“but with powers of their own to bare,” I think that should be bear. I hate English, why can’t we pick one or another and stick with it?
“black boor.” You mean the pig? I think that is boar...
“Watch out for grumpy magic wielders with a forest of animals at his whim..." Should there perhaps be a ? at the end of that?
“a sacrifice isn't required.
"Anyway, it takes years” Another unnecessary break.
ìNow to find some crumb or two for 'sacrifice.'" The I beat up the quotation and stole its spot!
“I may have been more of a fight with you” *scratches head* That sounds...odd. Should with be for?
| Noihseret chapter 2 . 3/10/2007
What a fun name... Hagop. lol. you're so creative. with this whole story! I love it
I love how you portray Taverus and Milina's relationship, too. it's kinda cute. lol.
looking forward to chapter 3!
| Now-Closed chapter 2 . 3/8/2007
Gwah...Taverus is so utterly adorable! I wanna HUG him! Milina is an interesting character. I like how you descirbed her :3
| Kaori chapter 1 . 3/6/2007
Wew~ That was interesting, so far. 8D
I like how it's all set, too. e we AND KNOX SEEMS HAWT 8D -dances-
Butyeah I like it 8D
| Higeki chapter 1 . 2/22/2007
Ooh~ I'm liking how this starts. I've always been a big fan of fantasy stories and this story has me very interested. It's also been a long time since I've read something in the third person perspective, so it was a very good change of pace for me.
Though, there was one thing that stuck out a bit as slightly awkward while reading this chapter. As most of the chapter was written in past tense, the occasional present tense line or two kind of pulled my thoughts out of the story in a few spots. It wasn't enough to make the story entirely rough to read for me, seeing as the shift in tense only happened a handful of times, but I believe if they were converted to past tense, it would make the story a bit smoother of a read.
That said, I'll be looking forward to future updates. :3 Good luck with your writing!
| Noihseret chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
wow! this is really good. the beginning was very captivating and I like the characters. (yey Taverus!) keep up the good work! I'll be waiting for chapter two
| Now-Closed chapter 1 . 2/6/2007
OMG *squirm* I've got chills 8D this is gonna be good, I can FEEL it! I do have a couple things I would like to point out though:
First: "though he still hunkered down a slight." A slight what?
Next: I think you used Knox's name a bit too much when you first introduced him. We know who you're talking about so until you bring in another character, you can just refer to him as "he".
Last: I do believe that "trapt" should be "trapped".
*goes off into corner to wait for next chapter*