|Reviews for Frozen Rain|
| Wylloa chapter 1 . 2/8/2007
Wow... I'm completly speachless. this is so beautiful and the words flow so well. The only thing that ruined it was that, well, when you put in "chourus" "end chorus" and then put "chorus" in place of the chorus (which causes the reader to scroll up and all,)it ruins the flow. But other than that, this song was one of the best you have ever written.
| L. Sherman chapter 1 . 2/7/2007
Well, for the most part, you've already gotten my rambling opinion on this bit of lyric. To restate: I love it.
But, just because I'm a cruel grammar Nazi, I have to mention:
"His words confirm that your gone." "Your" should be "You're" as in "you are gone."
"And I fell no..." should be "feel no," I'm assuming. Just makes more sense to me that way.
In the same line, "deaths" should be "death's" because the embrace is death's. That it, possessive. Use an apostrophe.
Later, "In-to deaths demand," should also be "death's." Again, possessive. Apostrophes really aren't your strong suit, are they?
Finally, "...and fall to the earth." Not really misspelled or anything, but I see earth as generally being capitalized, "Earth." I'm just weird like that though. I mean, I do it for words like "Fate" and "Destiny" so it's just one of those, you know? Consider it if you like.
Otherwise, I noticed you didn't say "sweaten," so kudos on that. I still love you, hun. But, the grammar Nazi in me isn't friendly after only an hour or so of sleep. So, ja.