Reviews for Cold Stab
Adamson5 chapter 6 . 10/19/2008
i really like this story! good description, realistic characters. wish there was mur tho...
Danny chapter 6 . 8/7/2008
Wow. All I can say. I came on to this site looking for some inspiration for a story of my own, but I never expected to find work of this quality! So far I have been thrilled by the strong narritive and have found my morals and beliefs tested by the scenario's in the plot (whether you intended this or not I've no idea, but I still enjoyed it). Good work, I look forward to reading the rest of your story.
ATangibleEssence chapter 5 . 2/25/2008
beautifully twisted and wound together...it was a lil hard to read...but i understand...i gave up trying to post anything cuz it would never transfer right...
Aislin Kane chapter 4 . 1/24/2008
4. Hearing aid - GAH! The suspense drives me mad!...in a good way...
Aislin Kane chapter 2 . 1/17/2008
Chapter 1 - some of the typos I saw...

but it in the end it's all for nothing

"Thanks you, Alan"

before Joseph and Keria had outgrown

(I think Jeeze is spelled Jeez)

and you need quotations on the line "Jim if you want any breakfast, you'd better let me go! She laughed

Ok...that aside...

Your storytelling is extremely powerful when he talks about his job, and the weariness carries on so well through his actions and perspective. I love it so far...and I think Jonathan Ross would be very pleased with your choice of duck-egg blue...lol
Aislin Kane chapter 1 . 1/17/2008
I would have to agree that you could add a bit more description to go along with the dialogue, but even without the story flows very well. Toward the end, the characterization definitely makes me want to continue with your character.
Kassi chapter 2 . 1/17/2008
Hi Jasmine, it's me from Gaia. I just read your story and I think it's awesome. Your main character's voice is very strong.

The way you started the story was interesting, since most of it was dialog. Although I think in this chapter there was a spelling typo where calm was spelled as clam.

The rest of your spelling was fine though.

Update!
GothyQueerios chapter 3 . 10/28/2007
This is a wonderful story... I really think you should continue it, particularly because you said at the end of chapter 1 that it was in memory of someone. I very much enjoy how the story flows and your use of the phonetic dialect. Some of my all time favorite works were told with mostly dialog and little description, however, you could use a bit more description than what you have. But that may come through in later chapters. Kudos on keeping the characters straight without tags, as well.

~TBR -