You remind me (a LOT) of myself as a freshman English major in college, particularly the attention to Classical motifs and sort of archaic language structures. Your professors will fault you for this, but I imagine that you'll continue to write the way you WANT despite their input. No one ever became a great writer because a committee taught them how - only by breaking the rules or following one's muse does the 'greatness' come.

What you're edging towards here is a sestina (which is a bear to write, let me tell you!) Nicely done.