|Reviews for Zirconium|
| Edgar Wellington chapter 1 . 3/2/2007
Well, I'm sure I'm going to be all full of crap, but I go out on a limb and throw out my impressions of your poem...
First thing I did was make sure I knew what zirconium means, so from
a lustrous grey strong metallic element resembling titanium; it is used in nuclear reactors as a neutron absorber...
Hm. Trying to see the connection...is it a pet name? Or is baby absorbing your neutrons? Sorry, like I said, I'm out on a limb.
This poem has some good things and some disappointing things. First, I really like the mood of the poem. I like the cold, dead, emptiness of it. I get this image that the viewpoint of the poem is from a disparing, love-lost, individual, who is staring out a window into a drab, gray wintery scene. This is very effective and compelling to me.
The image is set, but there is no story in the poem. Why did the lover leave? Why so heartbroken? I understand there is often no explanation for this kind of feeling, but for me, to get something lasting out of this poem, I need it. Teach me about this, so I can feel real empathy, and be moved like great words will do. Perhaps that is just me.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
This is a very well-crafted poem. I do like how the words bounce off each other, how you use the same sounds throughout, and repeat phrases. That's nice. It shows the desperation of the situation without losing its art. I also like the sentence fragments - they also help to show the pleading. My only comment is that you spelled "zirconium" wrong. But that's minor. Nice work. Keep writing! :)