|Reviews for not yet|
| Elenive chapter 1 . 3/1/2007
"These things tend to lean that way."
Out of all the gorgeous lines in this piece, this one stood out most. It fit between the imagery, the metaphors, and the symbolism. It seems so perfectly ordinary, but it is so much more. This sentence grounded the poem for me. The piece floated above my head, but this sentence brought it down to arm's reach.
| eldrin chapter 1 . 2/19/2007
"What is left isn't what remains" and "what/shelters can not hide are the/wings we wish not to expose" are wonderful contemplative phrases that brings a reader into the deep, half-alert, section of life tone of yours I cherish. I adore "cheekbone to chin cleft" as an alliterative phrase and image. Gorgeous piece that leaves a haunting sense of sadness. Excellent poem.
| Aquafied chapter 1 . 2/17/2007
deep in blue sorrow
-i think you can touch that. you can run it inbetween your fingers
children are so innocently depressed
| emeraude-irlandais chapter 1 . 2/16/2007
I like the thread of blue tying the beginning to the end- "blue tumbles" to "blue sorrow". The 'blue' phrases rather remind me of another childlike action- falling always equals sorrow, however shallow. I wonder if it was intentional? :) I adore the idea of the face as a landscape, with individual ranges- "cheekbone to chin cleft".
Honestly, sometimes I think your pieces are too deep for me- "What shelters cannot hide are the wings we wish to expose" serves to support my wonderings. :) But, as we know, what I do understand I love, and this is no exception. bella
| felicia13 chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
Now THIS ... this can be called one of your classic stylized poems. I enjoy this style.
The little moment you captured here is just wonderfully presented. Beautiful. I like the tears described as blue. Original.
| Genevieve Straessley chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
Love love love this. Wonderful use of irony to convey feelings. My favorite lines are "Like a child you decide/not to cry, but can't complete/the action." and "You claim to be strong in a/fragile voice."
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
"what is left isn't what remains."
"What shelters can not hide are the wings we wish not to expose."
Those lines still have me thinking. The ending is almost haunting. Interesting poem, I like it.
PS: I think that "can not" is one word though: cannot