|Reviews for Changing Carver|
| Hoodwynk chapter 15 . 12/1/2007
Alright. It is a nice plot with a lot of interesting action. Angel and her relationship has very little flaws (in the writing). But. There might be, put simply, too many action scenes. You could fill the space in a million different ways. Angel w brothers, Nikole w mother, Nikole helping someone from the modeling agency, Nikole helping Carver's little bros. bc they too have suffered from him, or something else. This was good, though, because it gave insight into her character- extremely noble and because it gave insight into her past.
| Hoodwynk chapter 14 . 12/1/2007
Ay! I love the emotional process that Nikole is experiencing, but this is Carver that we are talking about. He hates Nikole and this is very personal. Gang-rape is something that drunk guys do when they can't get any. Still very gruesome and traumatizing, especially added to her previous fears about this, but, not to sound clichéd, you could do better.
| Hoodwynk chapter 13 . 12/1/2007
Okay, the Carver hurting her bit and her being the helpless damsel captive is good, but might seem to be overused occasionally. Alone, very good chapter.
| Hoodwynk chapter 12 . 12/1/2007
No complaints, though Angle slipped up rather easily. He is a secret agent, though if you were trying to show how deeply she effects him or something, it makes sense.
| Hoodwynk chapter 11 . 12/1/2007
Nice cliffhanger and Carver drama.
| Hoodwynk chapter 10 . 12/1/2007
Um, no. I can't guess. He dated Suzanne- no he's not scarred enough. Nice action part- especially if you wanted to set them up for a revenge mission.
| Hoodwynk chapter 9 . 12/1/2007
Aww..Very cute. And you difinately had flow. And you didn't go into the *ahem* 'bonding time' too much. Carver sure changed alot. In a very short period of time. Still, an old friend can sometimes do that...
| Hoodwynk chapter 8 . 12/1/2007
Angel is great. Nikole is great. And Carver is great to hate, but would Nikole really let him hold her life in his hands and deal with him raping her? He is a major criminal. Food for thought, because everyone's limits are different.
| Hoodwynk chapter 7 . 12/1/2007
What would super-strict Thomas or Maggie do if they found out about Carver- ng for Carver. She might have said something... And, abusive bully to serial killer is not a big gap- getting major Voldemort vibes.
| Hoodwynk chapter 5 . 12/1/2007
Much better and easier to follow than the last one. And I like the charie Angel. He is hot and nice, but not a bad boy. (That being said, bad boys are nice too, maybe even better) Anyways, it was nice that you changed things around.
I am going to let you know about big grammar problems, not so you change it, but so if you ever use it in school or, maybe, when witing a novel, you'll know.
She knew he was anything, but innocent Nikole did not fall for it.
She knew he was anything but innocent, but Nikole did not fall for it. -lack of the word 'but' unless I am completely off in my understanding of the sentence.
disregard- is lack of regard;
regard-a caring for something (I am not a dictionary, so the def. may not be perfect. However, that is the jist.)
| Hoodwynk chapter 3 . 12/1/2007
'bomb uselessly' is, I think, supposed to be 'to render the bomb useless.' Uselessly is an adverb and useless is a adjective. I'm not a wiz at Grammar, so don't take my word for it. It is hard to keep track of the charies and sometimes your transitions aren't clear. Otherwise, good as usual.
| Hoodwynk chapter 2 . 11/30/2007
Er.. no comments really. I do wish that she had decked Carver though.
| Hoodwynk chapter 1 . 11/30/2007
Hmm...magic, danger, hot guys, and vow of revenge. Quite an interesting chapter. And I like the 'real girl' touch of the television shows, but is she too smart to be watching those? They were entertaining, but a bit much at times. I mean, it took Pheobe forever to kill Cole once he turned physcho.
| Chicken Paddy chapter 5 . 11/24/2007
Poor Nikole. She must be getting very exasperated. Ty and Raguel were just looking out for her well being, I don't think they ment to insult her. Carver's a pig. It's always nice to have connections, especially when you want to play with people's minds. I hope Nikole feels better and she gets along with Ty and Raguel. I also hope she can straghten out Thoman, Nola, Riki, and Carver. Keep up the good work!
| Chicken Paddy chapter 4 . 11/24/2007
Those evil little-. Sorry, I try not to put curse words into reviews. Those little brats certainly are little "Killers in Training." Thomas needs to wake up and realize something is seriously wrong with his children, and Maggie needs to know what Carver is up to. Danny and Will Sinclair don't seem to be that bad, but they could be better. Good story, Starr and keep up the good work!