Reviews for Flameheart
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 23 . 6/25/2010
I can't believe you didn't tell me you updated Flameheart! You should have known I would be the first person to jump at the chance to read it! TT_TT WHY? Yeah, I know you had work, but I just love your story too much...

I really enjoyed this offering and will be moving on to read the next chapter. This was a good chapter, and it turns out Maia is some badass witch with hidden potential. Cliched, but very cool. I can't wait to see her develop further. Yay!

I also can't wait to see their battle with Lucifer, so enough about the review, I'll be heading to the next chapter now!
Tawny Owl chapter 24 . 5/18/2010
Yay! Go the girls. Lovely images. Especially the pair of them avoiding the power shadow. That has to be my favourite fight scene, and I did like the way you described Elyanna. Actually, it’s nice to read something like this that has so many active girls in it.

When the corridor walls explode you do repeat ‘corridor walls’ twice which isn’t needed.

You do it a bit further down too when talking about Lucifer surviving the cave in as well.

The Necharch really does sound hideous. And the contrast of the mess he’s made with Ares floating in his tank was a strong one. I’m a bit confused about what was going on with the control panel though if it was working, then it wasn’t.

The Doctor’s appearance was wonderfully sinister, and just flirting with the edge of camp with his house of horrors comment. That made me smile.

Eww, deadly mist of gore. Disgusting but quite a cool image again. Like when Ares explodes all the demons in the train.

Spinning into darkness – liked that. And the frozen blood. How do you make all the icky stuff sound so cool?

And yay again. Sleeping beauty is awake. Such a cliff hanger.
King of Kings chapter 24 . 5/1/2010

Is it just me, or did the final scene - where he smiled - imply he hasn't completely lost control this time? I hope not, because he's been gone too long, and I would love to see him go against Lucifer again. Did I mention how awesome Lucifer is? Elyanna, too, has a nice fighting technique. It was good to see Atelier take a stand, as well.

This chapter had the best battle scenes so far. I love how you describe the confrontations of magicks and physical combat. ;)
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 24 . 4/11/2010
Blink? Was that from Warcraft honestly? I think that's part of the Warden's skill tree in WC3: TFT. :S Anyway, on this chapter, I guess most of what's going on here are action and more action. I'm a bit disappointed that Caine didn't actually do much in the two fights in terms of extent though. Only notable thing I've seen him done is the first Zhirkov's freakshow fight. Honestly speaking, you should really give him some top priority in fighting scenes. I'd hate to see a totem of my fave animal being belittled in the fighting department. :S Apart from that, good fighting scenes all round albeit I think Lucifer's complacency seems way too exaggerated since he never actually recovered from the barrage of attacks thrown in his way during the first fight. And yes, finally we get to see Ares going batshit crazy in the power department again. Here's hoping you will give him top priority attention in the oncoming fight. To be honest it's high time he did something really badass since he's been MIA from the story like N chapters back. Also I'm interested to see how much of a control does he has over the power of his lineage. :) Anyway, glad to see that you've updated this one again. The Eternal Grail is up with a new chapter for quite some time. Hope to see your review for it soon. :)
King of Kings chapter 23 . 3/19/2010
Lucifer! I did not expect him to show up so suddenly.

So Elyanna and Caine know each other, hm? This chapter has made me all the more curious about the mysterious elder...

Pretty good chapter. Hope to see more relatively soon! XD
Daranak chapter 23 . 3/13/2010
Darn, they've run into Lucifer... Even if Maia has improved since their last encounter, I doubt she can do much against Lucifer. And Elyanna... I wonder just how stable she is. She just got out of prison - I can't help but fear that either her body or her willpower will betray her during an extended fight with the toughest demon so far. And certainly Lucifer is cunning enough to spot any weakness Elyanna might display and exploit it, either physically or with magic.

If I may give some advice - I hope you'll have Lucifer reacting and/or be at least slightly inconvenienced when one of the three companions lands a serious blow on him. The last fight with him was somewhat frustrating to read since nearly nothing the then-companions did seemed to affect Lucifer even a little bit. I understand he's the most powerful demon so far, but he seemed all but invulnerable in that first fight.
Tawny Owl chapter 23 . 3/7/2010
So, yay! Although I did have to quickly refresh my memory about what had happened - if I ask stupid questions it's because I was only skimming the last few chapters.

And thanks for the A/N - sorry if I contributed to the lack of sleep.

The sort of summary at the beginning of the chapter helped, but some of your sentences didd feel a bit clunky, I think because of the length.

I don't care if Maia was all talk - she was very cool. Not quite as cool as Elyanna though. I liked that she was unreadable almost, and not quite trusting. And cunning, given that she knows Caine. Although the elder isn't exactly forth coming until he decides to break things up.

I was also glad we got to see Ares. Even if it was only flasbacky. Brushing snow of her hair - aw. I can see that being a sweet moment.

Yes, I cam imagine elyanna being a precosious child. And we have a hint that Caine does have a past. It makes sense that he has because he has always seemed very private, but I can't remember it being so close the surface before now.

I'm confused how the doctor released her if he was just a hologram though - I didn't think they could touch things.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 23 . 3/6/2010
Yay you're alive! XD Anyway, I'm truly waiting for the moment you make your return here albeit I don't know how long will the next update be. Okay, basically this chapter wasn't actually much of a vital one by my guess. I would consider it as a filler since there's not much going on plot wise. But i will have to say that this chapter is pretty much fast paced in a good way. Despite the fact that I'm needing sleep right now, I don't find myself wanting to doze off, so this is a plus point.

But I do think you could have flesh out Maia's character when she decided to be mentally stronger after that memory with Ares. You did create a brief mention, but the whole process was pretty much too ambiguous for the reader to feel anything for her. As for Elyanna's relationship with Caine, now that's one hell of an interesting thing to play upon. In my opinion, this is one good aspect of the plot that you can use to flesh out Elyanna's character not to mention she could be a certain foil for Caine's potential character struggles as was hinted in this chapter. Good thing you're not creating a Mary Sue in terms of mentor sense.

for Zhirkov, he's starting to seems more and more like an agent on the villainous end. And lastly on the potential fight with Lucifer, I guess that's what one calls interesting times. ;) But I'm personally miffed at the fact that out of all the vital characters in the chapter, Atelier was the only one not doing anything. :S And sucks to see you dropping the other two works. But for Atelier, I guess things ain't that bad because at least it has reached the intersection point with this one. :)

P.S: In case you don't know or have forgotten, The Eternal Grail is now up with a new chapter. In addition, a background settings work for it entitled The Grail Compendium is also up. Hope to see your reviews for them soon. That plus the latest chapter of A Ranger's Tale if you've yet to hit that one as well. :)
Jinxed Rogue chapter 2 . 1/18/2010
This has to be one of the best adventure fics I've read on FP in a long time.
King of Kings chapter 22 . 1/4/2010
Ah, so Elyanna showed up! I was hoping she would. As I hoped they would seek to rescue Ares.

Another excellent chapter, and I liked the Christmas Special. I particularly loved the reactions Elias and Ares had to her suggestion of a Christmas party. XD So funny!

Hope you had a good holiday!
Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 22 . 12/30/2009
I like the Christmas Special. It was very nice.

I would have read this earlier, since Flameheart is my favorite story in fictionpress. But unfortunately I ran into family problems (not the emergency kind, don't worry) and spent most of the Christmas season busy, so I'm late. Sorry about that!

As expected, your story is just fabulous! Destroying the wyrms, sneaking into the bowels of Arcatraz to save Ares...a meeting with Atelier and the Crusaders and finally Elyanna! One word...AWESOME!

I can't wait for the next chapter now. I'm going to have to huddle in a corner and endure my withdrawal syndromes. As to the somewhere else bits, if I did that, it wouldn't have the "manga" feel to it, y'know, the part where everyone from everywhere looks at it with their different reactions. I wanted it to feel epic, and give the feeling of vastness and distribution on the island, which would not be possible if I just elaborate. Besides, if you noticed, all the different people had different perspectives and views and angles of the azure devastation, and their responses were at different times as well. But you might be right.

And a Happy New Year to you too!
Daranak chapter 22 . 12/26/2009
I haven't much to say about this chapter, other than being glad it wasn't Blasphemy who showed up. Given the situation, I very much doubt Maia could have won that battle, even with Caine helping her. On the other hand, it will be interesting to see how the encounter with Elyanna will turn out.
Tawny Owl chapter 22 . 12/24/2009
Maia getting distracted – surely not. But I like the idea of the Anlglo Saxonish wyrms with their snake like bodies. The exploding icicles was brilliant to – and contrasted with the gaping Daim only added to it.

Another infiltrator – could that mean that that the doctor is hosting another Sin?

There were some really enjoyable verbal spars between Caine and Maia as well. Especially when negotiating the rescue of Ares. I enjoy the almost paternal attitude he has to her because it’s caring without ever being over bearing, which is also partly due to Maia who is more than equipped to stand up to him.

And we get to meet Atelier as well as Yiazmat – that could lead to interesting things. It was interesting to see her break down so completely as well. It emphasised her youth because she’s always been so feisty and bloody minded before. It made sense that she’d strike out with violence and then cry when there was nothing left to fight. And Elyanna too. The gang’s all here.

I must confess I did kind of rush to get to the biog and the Christmas special. Ares likes Muse and Monty Python. I thoroughly approve of that. And the idea of him on the tube with a magic 8 ball was fantastic. I was a bit surprised to hear he was stoner because although he’s always seemed quiet he also seems quite intense all the time. Maybe I’ll change my mind when we get into his head. That should be fun if he doesn’t think much. Hehe.

I loved the different reactions of all the characters to Christmas. Although I was confused by who Yiazmat was buying the present for. Maia, who was hosting, or Atelier who spoke before him. It made sense that Maia would be the one to get the festivities out though. It’s fun seeing her be girly. And it was great seeing the lighter side of your characters. (Can I take this as evidence they all survive the coming drama?) I liked her reaction to asking Caine for advise too. Ares doesn’t hang about though does he? Not even a kiss under the mistletoe first? And maybe I'd love rather than I'll...?This had me smiling all through it though: fluffy and funny and quirky having Christmas descend into your world.

Jingle Bells and all that Jazz
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 22 . 12/22/2009
To be honest I was like wtf at the length of this chapter, but amazingly I've enjoyed the ride so far. :) Anyway, just a brief question here. Will you play alongside the Tolkien propaganda where dragons are concerned? When I saw your portayal of wyrms, I'm really like wtf it's Tolkien?

Anyway, I'd expect Atelier to be included in this chapter after halfway through the chapter. It's a real pity not to see Caine dishing out massive pwnage here. You should give some spotlight of greatness to him ffs. :S As for the action itself, I can say it's pretty much detailed and well paced, so good for you here. And I truly wonder how Elyanna will affect this current arc.

As for Ares' stats, I think they were taken as what he's capable of only in human form. It would be a travesty of logic if you give his demon form some generic human stats. :S As for the Christmas part, well all I can say is that it's pretty much interesting albeit pointless in terms of the plot. But I do see certain snippets on what will happen in the future. :)

P.S: In case you don't know, I've just started a recent work entitled Ancient Legacy. I don't think you've reviewed it yet, but I truly hope you can do so ASAP. If I get that before Christmas, that will be the best Christmas gift I can ever get for the year. :)
King of Kings chapter 21 . 12/14/2009
Sorry it took me so long to review. Honestly, I saw your update, made a mental note to check back on it later, and totally forgot about it. XP

Anyway...Lucifer and the Doctor, huh? Somehow I am unsurprised. It does make me curious that he set Elyanna free, though. Is she intended to serve some ultimate purpose? Guess I will simply have to wait and see...

Gargoyles, interesting. As usual, awesome descriptions of the battle scenes. I am disinclined to believe the arrival of whatever appeared at the end heralds anything good.

Hope to see another update soon, and even more so, I hope Ares returns before long! ;)
170 | « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »