Reviews for Smooth Move
Venus Smurf1 chapter 23 . 8/13/2007
Wow! Wow, wow, wow! You're amazing, and I loved this!

Perfect ending to a perfect story. I loved the fact that even after they're together, they're still fighting over stupid things. It definitely would've been a bit cliched if everything in their relationship was perfect, because that's just not the way real life is. At the same time, though, Rae has obviously grown up a lot over the course of the story. She's more forgiving and understanding, and it was wonderful to watch that happen. Loved it.

And no worries. This wasn't too cliched at all. Like I said, it was perfect. You're an amazingly insightful writer, and I loved every minute of this.

I'm devestated to see it end, as well. I'm sorry that you're going to be so busy, and I can only hope that you'll find the time to grace us with your work once more. And while you obviously have to do what's best for yourself, I honestly wouldn't mind if you only updated once every few months. It's better than nothing, right? 'Sides, that's what most writers do, so it's not that big a deal. Just don't leave us entirely!

Good luck with everything. Hope your senior year is a lot easier than you expect.
sweets555 chapter 23 . 8/13/2007
i loved this! great job! cant wait to see more of what youve written
akb-inactive chapter 23 . 8/13/2007
I sort of put of reading this story because... well, I don't know. I convinced myself to read it when I saw that it broke through a thousand reviews - yikes, before you think of me as a shallow reader, thinks about how fricking good this story must be for it to have over a thousand reviews. ;)

Well, now that I finished it, I'm... well, happy. The story was fluffy (maybe a bit more than it needed to be), but it was still a great read. The characters grew over the story, especially Rae, and that's something important in stories. Characters should be like any other person - they grow emotionally, physically, and mentall over time. You managed to do that in 23 chapters. Some people take forever!

blablabla, I'm gonna ramble on forever.

Great story. :D Congrats on finish it!
sweets555 chapter 1 . 8/12/2007
okay, just for using sarah dessen, i love you. must go read the rest...
shadowgirl618 chapter 23 . 8/12/2007
I loved this story! ( I'm so sad it's over though.

In response to your question about the weakest aspect of this story, I think that you spent a lot of time trying to build the relationship between the characters, and when you do that, you tend to use casual, every day dialogue. Although this works most of the time, interactions between the characters, such as how they react to each others' behavior or things like that, would be stronger than pure dialogue, especially when the dialogue is without actions.

However, personal character development was good in this story. We can see Rae's change in character clearly, as well as Wes's. However, Wes's is harder to see as the main thing that changed was how he felt towards Rae. But what about his interactions with other people? Minor things like how he reacts to people at school - people other than Rae - would help.

] Of course, this is all just my opinion. Whatever you do to your story is all your deciding. Good luck, if you're revising.

I look forward to reading your one-shots, but I hope you do upload a story!

Good luck with senior year. It's weird - I'm the same age as you! I'd be going into my senior year next year too.. Except, I kind of skipped a couple years of high school. 11 and 12th.. But good luck with your college applications! ]

Again, GREAT job with this story! Loved it. :)

Until next time...

jekodama chapter 23 . 8/12/2007
IT'S OVER! NO! I'll miss this story a lot. Rae has grown on me, you know? At first I really hated her, but now I'll miss her! And Wes... WES, I LOVE YOU! XD

As you asked, here's what I think your stories lack: depth. Not to sound insulting, because I really like your stories, they're refreshing, but I think it's time for you to expand your horizons and leave your comfort zone, explore other styles. Your narrative is great and you capture the reader with your way with words, but I think that you hav been writing teen romance for too long.

Oh, and I'd LOVE to read the summaries of the stories you have in mind. If you want, I can even be your beta. Anyway, kudos for a great story!

Until the next story!
jekodama chapter 22 . 8/12/2007
Hey! you didn't include me in the group of people who answered the Angel Falls question correctly! I don't like you anymore! X(

Wes does sound like a guy, a shy, adorable one, but a guy nonetheless. I particlarly liked the fact that it was Rae who gave the first step and confessed her feelings, rather than Wes doing it first, because it proves that she has grown up a lot. Gee, I wanna know what Izza is going to say about all of this! XD

Trivia question answer: breath? I think I saw that on a Discovery channel program, but I'm not sure.
swimchickslam chapter 23 . 8/12/2007
aw :D i'd like summaries! i'm so sorry i didn't get to review the last chapter - i was away at camp w/ no access to internet D: i know. how did i live? ahahahahaaha but yeah i love this story x 1011820498209 :D
TMorseCode chapter 23 . 8/12/2007
So. Yeah. Loved it. Sad that's it's over. Write more.

And that's all I have to say. :)
SweetNamelessRose chapter 23 . 8/11/2007

And by she, I do mean me, seeing as I've pretty much gone missing the last couple chapters. And what a surprise to get the last chapters EVER of Smooth Move all at once. But I have to say, it was worth it. Especially since I didn't have to wait to finally find out how they finally realized their mutual likingness. Together at last ]

Now, I won't go into specifics on these past few chapters since honestly, it's all a blur of happiness to me, but since you asked for constructive criticism/what we think weaknesses were in the story, here goes. Like you said, this story was kind of fluffy. And in being so (lmao, I sound so proper), you kind of made certain characters (especially Wes) sort of too perfect. Now, don't get me wrong, they weren't perfect. But they were a bit too cliche. Wes acted a bit expectedly most of the time, as did others. And many times, it was evident what would happen next. For the future, I'd suggest a little less of that, and a little more twists and turns. I know it's hard to come up with them, but if you work on it, I'm sure you can make it happen (ha, that sounded so inspirational). Because life is ridiculously crazy, and shitty stuff happens all the time. So once you figure out a way to get that shit into your writing, you'll be golden. Or shitty, however you wanna look at it, lmao.

Anyway, that's my bit. Like it or leave it, either way's fine with me, but I'm sure you'll writing will continue to be great whichever route you go. And as for those stories you talked about, they sound good (I love Sarah Dessen also!), so I hope you decide to post them.

Now, onto the freakishly coincidental business. I live in Gburg, and go to Magruder. Et tu?

Oh, and did I mention I really like 'Lifesong' too?

Dude, it's so weird that this is over. Farewell Rae and Wes, may you lead happy fictional lives forevermore. Amen.
nadljfaithglingh chapter 23 . 8/11/2007
congrats on finishing! i'm sad to see it end, though. i love rae and wes' relationship; it's real and nice and had a happy ending :)

looking forward to more stories! i hope time permits you to upload them, in not now, then sometime in the future at least :D
Alora The Sleepy chapter 23 . 8/11/2007
Aww. That was gorgeous. Great ending. *sniff* I'm so sad that it's done. I'm gonna miss this story so much. Though, I can of course re-read it... but yer. I probably won't, knowing me. But the point was... I forgot. Haha.

Anyway. Yeh, wow. I loved how you ended it with her stacking it. Great, honestly. Because it gives us something to remember her by, and you came full-circle and all that shite that you're meant to do in writing. :D Um... yeah.

OK, the weakest point in this story? I think it was probably the whole party scene thingy... it was how you were like continually emphasizing that Rae didn't like parties. And you kept going on, and on and I just didn't like it. But I've told you this. I actually can't remember anything else I didn't like, but it will be in my previous reviews if there was.

All round, it was just a great story, and I loved it. :D

So, yeah.

Good luck with all your work in school in the next year. :D

Love Alora
Liviania chapter 23 . 8/11/2007
Rae's klutziness is fantastic. One aspect, that wasn't really weak per se, but something I kind of wondered about . . . did Caleb ever figure out that one girl liked him? (If you mentioned it, I totally missed it.)

Breath? I only notice if people have bad breath . . . I couldn't tell male from female with it.

As for community service - the hospital, re-sale shops for the underprivileged, and schools are the easiest places to rack up a lot of hours. (For instance, all those mass mailings the school sends out? Someone has to put those in envelopes. You can get darn fast at doing it too.)

Fleeting Moment chapter 23 . 8/11/2007
cherrypiesizzle chapter 23 . 8/11/2007
This chapter was just awesome xD aw, I know what he actualy meant by the 'most beautiful girl' bit. Heh. So like a guy to mess that sort of statement up - but if I were the one saying it, but to a guy, I would probably fumble and make a big mess after if I said it wrong like he did.

Keep writing! I really enjoyed this story, and Rae's such a strong character.
1,412 | « Prev Page 1 .. 16 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 36 .. Last Next »