|Reviews for Smooth Move|
| frouwe chapter 23 . 7/16/2011
I loved this, so much. It felt so realistic, and, on my opinion, much more mature than your other stories, writing-wise (just so you know, I've only read Fateful Friday and Recover as of yet, so I don't know about the rest).
It gave me a Sarah Dessen-y feeling, in the way that I could completely relate with the narrator. My personality's a lot like Rae's, though I'm not as tactless. Keyword being 'as'. Oh, and Wes was called Wes, so I automatically liked him. And I liked him after knowing his name, too. Every time you mentioned swooning it made me giggle.
I was half-expecting Wes to have a big bad secret (like, what happened in New Jersey to be some huge mistake he did) that would classify as his required flaw for liking Rae. Then she would learn that she likes him more than she cares about his stupid flaw and then they would live happily ever after and stuff. And I think that Rae and Derrick should have more interaction, but it makes sense they didn't because she was always alone with either Wes or Izza.
I sort of feel the last chapter was unnecessary. I mean, I know it wasn't, since it is necessary to tie up the loose ends and give a feeling of closure. I just think it would have worked too if you had ended it up with the last scene of chapter 22. Don't take me seriously; I'm a big fan of loose endings and not particularly a big fan of epilogues.
Now you've left me with a craving for The Truth About Forever and some young adult stuff, which is bad because I have this huge list of books I want to read and I feel life's too short for me to finish it. Whatever, awesome story :)
| InkWitch chapter 23 . 7/8/2011
You should listen to 'My Stupid Mouth' by John Mayer. He's an amazing artist, and it's an amazing song, and plus, i think it sort of suits Rae although it's about a guy not a girl.
This was a really good story. It was interesting, it kept me wondering all the time what would happen, and it completely embodied something both Rae and I wonder about: "why boys are so STUPID? why they're so CONFUSING? and how in the world people's relationships even last when we don't even understand the opposite sex."
I also love Rae's character, maybe because I'm so much like her and so I can understand where she's coming from. I mean, i'm sarcastic, a bookworm, kinda mean to people at first, but extremely loyal to my friends, think that the male species is doomed for me, and ramble ALL THE TIME in my head. Rae is a lot like me so I really like her.
Wes' character is pretty interesting too. I can sort of see that you made him a bit like his namesake' from Sarah Dessen's Truth About Forever, and since i LOVE that guy (though not as much as Dave from What Happened to Goodbye OR Dexter (ILOVEHIM) from This Lullaby) i like Wes also.
Oh and wait: CALEB AND MARRISSA! SHIT. How did the guy figure it OUT? Isn't he like BLIND or something? :P BOYS ARE SO BLIND.
and ALSO: OMG I TOTALLY LOVED THAT KISSING SCENE! Honestly, some people CANNOT write a good kissing scene. Either it's all 'oooh butterflies and sparks' nothing physical or 'hard core passion' ALL PHYSICAL. Both extremely annoying. But this one was... perfect :)
Hmmm, what else? XD Oh right. I was sitting in my car today and I was sort of thinking about your story and what I'd so far read and I realized that I forgot to point out something. I forget which chapter this was in, but remember that pool scene where Rae invited both Caleb and Wes so as not to feel like a third wheel to Izza and Derrick's date? Yeah. So you wrote that Rae found it uncomfortable to expose her body in that bikini so much and she took her clothes off as quickly as possible so that she won't freak out. But then, as the scene went on, you completely forgot to reference that uncomfortableness as she looked for Wes and so on. Either make her UN-uncomfortable or give little references now and then in that scene to make sure, you know, we still know she's uncomfortable. Because you just don't forget about the fact that you're in a bikini especially if you were feeling weird about it in the first place.
Oh and, um, one more thing. Throughout the story I didn't know what Rae actually was, a high school student, or a college freshman or something. I mean, yeah, I know she's seventeen, but then you said that she studied Psychology at school and do you study PSYCHOLOGY at high school? I've never heard of it anyways. Also, that college camp thing: you didn't really broaden Anna's character. You give little things that keep us wondering like that thing where she was fully clothed in black, why was that? I still don't know. If you are not going to develop a character fully in your story it's best to not develop the character much at all or maybe even making the character not interact with the MC much, because then, she/he is not important. See? Again, maybe that's just your style of writing. This is just MY opinion, mind.
Anyways, good story, added it to my community, hope you read this entire review :P and thanks for the read! :)
| InkWitch chapter 4 . 7/7/2011
I'm just like Rachel! I read books, use really long and unusual words in my normal speaking, and always think guys hate me (and do the same, prove to my best friend that it's true thing). Wow. COOL.
Um, I actually think Rae is being kinda mean. I mean, Wes' grandpa just died, he's entitled to be a little lukewarm. And maybe he's just shy, like Izza said. Still, I love your characters. They're very well done.
| InkWitch chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
I love Sarah Dessen. She is my most favourite author. I love Truth About Forever but This Lullaby and What Happened to Goodbye is MY FAVOURITE Sarah Dessen's.
This is so awesome, I actually found someone who likes Sarah Dessen as much as I do! Cool.
This seems like a good story so I'll just keep reading...
Look out for my reviews.
| i-wish-i-had-wings chapter 23 . 7/5/2011
"Did You Know? The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night. GROSS, I know." i did SO not need to know that! *shudders*
anyway, i loved your story ) rae was just really endearing what with her clumsiness, had me laughing out loud a couple of times xD i once slipped right when i was entering mc donalds and landed flat on my nose, and it was really embarrassing, i just couldn't stop laughing and neither could the girl who recieved my order xD my friend was mortified though...
and i have to say i felt for wes, it's easier to lose friends than gain new ones. well, thank you very much for sharing, it definetly made my day to read this D
| LovenLife chapter 23 . 7/4/2011
hey...i recently finished reading your story, Smooth Move. i really liked it! loved the character portrayal and the plot...it was really hilarious in some parts..like those where Rae trips and does something stupid..:D
i don't know if you'll even read this. i read your homepage where you have posted that you might restart writing...i really hope you get your inspiration to write..!
| Chersparkle chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
Hahahahha. The main character from The Truth About Forever was named Wes. Excited to read more :D
| popsicle-stick26 chapter 23 . 6/26/2011
Aww I loved this story! It was so cute and I looove Wes' character...you're such a good author! :)
| kaymuhray chapter 1 . 6/18/2011
"I could get lost between the pages of a book, losing myself in reality and immersing myself in the characters' perils. In a book, I could forget my problems."
I totally feel this way!
Good story by the way
| everyoneisMISunderstood chapter 20 . 4/25/2011
I was planning on only reviewing at the end of this chapter.
Then... you mentioned Old Bay.
Oh. My. Gosh. I LOVE OLD BAY! Power to the Maryland freaks! XD
This story is seriously awesome, by the way. Even more awesome because you mentioned the most badass seasoning in the world.
| Anne chapter 7 . 4/8/2011
Your story is really funny! ] I like your style of writing because I can always anticipate another scene that's going to make me laugh. That being said, Rachel kind of annoys me sometimes. The way she can be so insensitive about Wes' grandfather and all that. She was kind of like that a couple of times already. That, and how thick her sarcasm can be sometimes is really irritating. Why is she so mean to poor Wes D:
But other than that, nice work! Still wish Rachel would be nicer lol
| PorshaMoon chapter 4 . 4/5/2011
lol this story is so funny! :D I literally find myself laughing out loud at some parts. Rachel is awesome! Can't wait to continue reading
| artmagus chapter 23 . 2/27/2011
seriously it was hilarious. i couldn't control myself for lauphing out loud and everybody was sleeping :) i really liked Rae's remarks and Wes is so cute! I like the way you wrote ! you made me want to read more...
| cam3llia chapter 11 . 1/6/2011
One of the main reasons that I love this fic is because I love Rae's character so much. She resembles myself in a lot of ways. :3
Wes's character seems unerealistically tolerant thought.
| jorie chapter 23 . 1/6/2011
okay.. so, it started out great for me at first..
then it was just okay as i got along reading the rest...
there wasn't really anything exciting in this..
it was just okay.. pretty normal..
and i think was' excuse was not that heavy...
this was an okay read..
thanks for sharing..
thanks for those trivia too! )