|Reviews for Smooth Move|
| nadljfaithglingh chapter 10 . 4/30/2007
No! Not my nose! I already don't like it...oh well. Can't be helped. Always did like my eyes, though. Good thing to know something's not changing.
Like your story. It's still good! I really enjoy reading it. I like how your characters have conflict and stuff and everything's not always a perfect situation and how we have to see through the eyes of another person who's not perfect either. Love it. Good luck with the writer's block! I'd give you advice on it, but yeah, I'm in a perpetual state of writer's block, so I don't think I'd be any help XD
| Alora The Sleepy chapter 10 . 4/30/2007
Hm... interesting how all of the girls Rae's guy's friend's talk to glare at Rae. Did that make anysense? It did in my mind... as long as I understand. :p
Anyway, I liked it. Once again, not in a helpful mood, and I didn't really spot anything wrong with it anyway. :D
But it was good.
| Quadrophenia chapter 10 . 4/29/2007
Hilarious, as usual. I hate writer's block, I'm not even sure what it's like to not have writer's block anymore. It really is the most useless and uneccessary thing ever. But you're doing great with it. Keep up the good work! (I hate sounding like a grade school teacher, but it seems I have Good Review Block or whatever in addition to every other block I have.)
| thoughtsofwisdom chapter 10 . 4/29/2007
Nice chappie. Caleb is sort of freaky with his mood swings though. Sheesh. What a sensitive guy.
| kstar129 chapter 8 . 4/29/2007
Um...About ur comments:
A. I am no good at doing critsisn unless its someone in my familt(a.k.a. my little brothers)
B. I really can't find nething 2 critcize
C. The whole being dissapointed is so wrong
D. It makes it feel like Caleb likes her(I'm not sure if that's what ur thinking of,so yeah)
E. I LOVE stories with competitions in them over a girl
F. I LOVE ur stories!
| woodstock1969 chapter 10 . 4/29/2007
Hey! Another great chapter! I'm sorry for your writer's block. I know how it feels. Ah yes, the whole "liking Caleb" thing would definitely explain Marissa's bitchiness. Hm, what could Wes have been talking about that was so secretive? I wonder... I 'll just have to wait and see. Update soon!
| summers-end chapter 10 . 4/29/2007
Why IS Rae so antagonistic and sarcastic and judgemental? It seems like that's all she ever does. But I like that she actually is clueless about why other people act the way they do but questions herself about their quirks(unlike other fictionpress stories where the writer has a character notice something about another character but not question it). For example: Wes sounding happier on the phone when Rae called-you didn't just say she noticed it, you also had Rae question why. Other writers don't have the questioning part which bothers me. Ok...Long rant over. :P
Wes seems like such a deep character. I want more information on him. How close was he to his grandfather? Did he have a girlfriend? Does he play soccer or just have really nice legs?
| Kaede Kitsurani chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
Don't worry about the chapter title. )
Uneventful chapter, but a good one nonetheless.
| ThatOneKidWhoDoesn'tLikeSalami chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
oky so i knew Wes would have a less than happy reaction to Caleb's being there! well, it was more of indifference but when a girl asks a guy to do something with her and does not mention other people possibly coming, there is an unspoken agreement that said girl would not invite another guy along for the outing (wow i can't believe i just said that it sounds so ... un-me)
oh! Melissa likes Caleb and is jealous!
lol adult swim. we can ignore that now. but i swear when i was still fifteen i would stay in during adult swim just to see if anyone would notice, and when non of the life guards said anything it made my day. plus it was a nice way to annoy my brother.
so, my conclusion from the fact that Caleb doesn't appreciate sarcasm is that
1) hes annoyed that he has to hang out with Wes too and not just Rae (but that wouldn't really make much sense considering he suggested finding him in the first place, but guys can be weird sometimes)
2) Rae likes Wes as more than a friend and by the end of this story will be going or have gone out. as a couple. and not Caleb because he, well, doesn't appreciate sarcasm (wow repetitive much?)
and some completely random fact sponsored by ... Randomness Inc. : never press "Ctrl w" while typing a review ( ... or maybe when a window is open in general on the computer, i haven't experimented with that yet. I'm too lazy. but that's not new) Anyways, while i was trying to type up this review, i was getting really bothered by the little red squiggles underneath the names that names that i was too lazy to capitalize the first time though, so i go back, delete the w from Wes' name (of course, I'm thinking that I'm pressing shift w) and then the review just disappears. And of course its me. i have no idea how this computer played that little evil magic trick on me (i thought i pushed an extra button without realizing it), so i open up a new review, get to the same point i was at before, and attempt to fix wes' name again, but this time being more careful. Now, as I'm releasing my fingers off the keys i look and see I'm pressing ctrl, not shift, and think, oh wonder what that does? and then, surprise, surprise, my review goes bye-bye for the second time in a row. and that is my short little story which explains why i am now paranoid about pressing ctrl with any other button on the keyboard and some how completely screwing up this computer.
up, Rae isn't as dumb as she could be. she figured out Melissa's secret.
and the question of the hour: does Wes like Rae. because talking to a girl who is squishing her boobs together makes it appear as though he doesn't. but then again, would he rather talk to her or sit the flirtations couple? lets continue reading, shall we? (but of course, that was rhetorical. you've written this story / chapter so you are completely aware as to what will be happening.
lol no offense to us or anything, but girls are weird! referring to rae taking shirt 1/2 way off, pausing, and then basically ripping it the rest of the way off. that is so me though at the pool. its just awkward standing there taking your shirt off.
haha she doesn't know the meaning of the word freezing if thats how she describes pool water in the summer. she should come to VA beach in April. now that water is death on a beach.
okay, sarah, why do your characters remind me of tom? how in the world could he NOT have been cold while he was in that water? and 2, they're both swimmers. wow, am i weird or what?
"did i offend you?" seriously, i love her bluntness. its amazing and it makes my day. well... tomorrow because if it made this day, then there'd only be 33 minutes of happiness from Rae's character. really like that when shes annoyed with someone she just says it and fixes whatever's wrong... or whatever it is that she does. too late for me to be grammatically correct. but seeing as you've gotten through this much of the review by this point (and, well, because its me) i think you would know that by now.
and i still think that (whether or not you've made the same decision, or are still deciding on this) that Wes and Rae will end up as more than friends. but don't tell me if I'm wrong lol i like figuring the story out as i read and not just handed the answer on a silver platter. but then again, the story isn't always about the answer, but about how you get there. so if you want some help with that writers block i can help. or at least try lol I'm not the most creative person out there.
because they won't stop and ask for directions :D lol u stole that from josh (or no because u had said you had heard the joke before)
ps omg the fact that our eyes don't grow kind of freaks me out a little. blows my mind away.
| Izella G chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
wow,Rae is ridiculously nosey its amusing :D
PLEASE update soon, LOve the stories and the sarcasm.
| Meeesha chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
Hmm. Interesting. What I like about this story is that we only have the insight into what Rae is thinking, therefore, we don't really know if Caleb is truly acting weird or she just thinks he is. Or even with how she preceives Derrick and Wes. I don't know why, but I just realized that that is interesting to me. Really, we don't know anything about them unless they reveal it themselves. Anyways, I'm done being weird. I liked this chapter. We learned something more about Caleb, also I am wondering what his relationship with Marissa is. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Good job!
| RunBabyRun chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
Jeez. Rachel is a FREAK. Sorry but seriously, she's 1) Paranoid, 2) Suspicious about everything, 3) Convinced that everyone is out to get her, 4) Is NOT funny, 5) And freaks at the sight of beer and doesn't wanna take her clothes off in a POOL? What the hell is her problem. That girl's got serious issues. I mean she's not fat, so what's the problem, and let alone freaking out when a guy watches her leg. Her leg, not even her boobs or her ass, but her LEG, when her friend tells her her legs are NICE. She's so frustrating. I would normally still say I like your story but I can't she's just so fucking WEIRD.
| jekodama chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
Not my favorite chapter, but I don't hate it either. It's just that, in the end, nothing happened, at least nothing relevant. Writer's block, huh? Sucks dirty socks, that bitch. It's like a disease, always latent in our systems. I hate it.
Well, I'm awfully tired right now, so I'll just cut the monologue here.
Feliz semana! Buena suerte!
Until the next review!
| uusernname chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
Loving it so far, update!
| Anon chapter 10 . 4/28/2007
I'll sign in next time if you want, or at least leave an e-mail address.
Anyway, the reason why I'm posting is because I want to express to you what I think about Rae. As for not reviewing earlier, I won't give a reason because I don't have a good one.
Rae seems awkward; okay, maybe Caleb is not the most receptive (to her at any rate) guy, but even with Wes who understands her sarcasm and does the same thing, she isn't seeming to mesh with him, she's too nosy, too socially graceless. I know that this isn't what you really want to hear, but I really think she is. She has a Foot in mouth Syndrome that I thought I was the only one of whom was cursed; she pries too much into people's business before she knows them properly, as seen in this chapter, and although Wes is forgiving, there isn't really a huge amount of chemistry.
Look at the restaurant scene for another example, he tolerates, gets angry, but there doesn't seem to be any chemistry.
The other thing I'm wondering about is Drea. After the first chapter we don't really hear much from her. Is there any potential in the Holts finding out about Wes and Rae's friendship and inviting the whole family over ot would that be too forced.
Anyway, although I'm no fan of Rae, I do like the story style and your writing capabilities, especially in Fateful Friday.
Ah, whatever, if you want to yell at me or whatever,