|Reviews for Smooth Move|
| kelyn chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
haha, they argued over staring at each others legs...i found it cute.
| jammi chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
Question, why does she blow up on Wes for the stupidest things but when her best friend sets her up on a blind date and didn't tell her she was peeved for a while then got over it? It just seems a bit weird that for someone who has such a quick temper that she would make a fool of herself in a car full of people,
[I'm glad you mentioned that she kissed her pride goodbye lol, I would've been tempted to wait til he started moving and thrown myself out, that would've been less painful, lol]But her best friend, who seems to be quite annoying when it comes to guys doesn't really get the full blunt, you know what I mean?
Like, I know it's because they're best friends, I wasn't going to mention it since I have friends like that, where they're great people and then boys are brought up and you start contemplating where to hide their bodies, lol, well not really but you know what I mean.
Like the whole inviting her as the third-wheel I figured she would've been pissed for a while, not for the whole night but she'd make Izza work for it a bit, lol, especially with the way she was all 'oh, you're on a datte' before. [paraphrasing and all that jazz]
So when she snaps on Wes for checking out her legs, which I admit would be uncomfortable, especially since she's not comfortable with her height, makes her seem a bit off, lol, or maybe it's just me.
I understand pointless arguments, to show character development but sometimes, especially with the way she's abusing poor Wes' ego, [that restaurant scene, that was brilliant, it fit her personality and yet you were still squirming because what if Wes does like her and she's pretty much throwing a tantrum over her friend hinting at it. ALTHOUGH, nice contrast between his reaction to her saying it's not a date and Caleb's reaction when she pretty much accused her friend of setting her up against her will like he was a leper or something. She treats them both the same way but two vastly different reactions.] it's like, can you give him a break? Or at least she should snap at everyone equally, lol.
And about the whole putting a bit of you into your character, that's perfectly fine. My favourite character is a bit of an elitist and like Rae she does fly off the handle over little things, but that's a part of me. People say certain things and it's like 'are you serious?' except, I don't just do it to certain people, family, friends, and in my head, strangers, lol, get to hear my opinions on whatever dumb thing they did/said.
Most authors take things that they like about themselves or dislike about themslves and give it to their character. That way the character always seems real. You can tell a character who doesn't have a bit of the author because she's perfect and it's irritating. Some of my favourite characters have characteristics from the author, even if it's something simple like having the same obsession with figurines. You just have to be careful that if you're talking about a book it doesn't turn into a commercial for it lol, or you gushing about it and after we read her opinion we're like "this has to do with the story how?..."
And when you put in your opinions, don't put it in a way that the reader gets offended. Because when I read that, although I was into the story it pulled me out and I got back into it but it was a struggle because it felt like you were calling me an idiot for liking rap. I know the faults with it but on the flip side there are some inspirational raps out there, just like there are alternative/pop/rock/etc. songs that are bare rubbish.
So, when you show your opinion through a character, because it's bound to happen again, show the other side if you can so the reader doesn't feel like you're attacking them. Or make someone in the story who isn't the 'enemy' or an idiot also like the different thing or have them open to everything. Because face it, it's your opinion, and other people will share it but then there's the percentage who don't see it the way you do and feel personally attacked even though you didn't mean to send it across that way.
Again, another long review, but you did say critique and until you get annoyed at me, I shall critique away lol, Sorry for the choppiness of the review, I'm supposed to be packing so I just wrote it as it came to me instead of trying to organize it [reason for these little messages that should be paragraphs of their own].
| xonea chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
i haven't watched the fox and the hound for a long time..
and i kind of forgot what its all about.
& i like how Wes and Rae always argue when they see each other.
| dimethylmercury chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
I liked the part where she sawed at his legs/he stared at hers.. That was funny(: Wes' and Raes's arguements are so...pointless...they seem like they can argue about anything..haha.. Does Caleb know Wes is going to be there? If not, things might get interesting..(:
| nadljfaithglingh chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
i love reading all the crazy arguments rae and wes get into. quite interesting :) i think they're good for each other, even though i don't know too much about wes' character yet. can't wait to read more!
| theGreyPebble chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
nihihihihiih i'm actually surprised to say that i think i would prefer caleb as Rae's friend rather than an admirer etc...
normally i'm all for the millions of guys going after one girl (as cheesy as it sounds)
| Venus Smurf1 chapter 9 . 4/23/2007
Lovely chapter. Very funny, and I love the way things are going. can't wait to see (whatever) Caleb and Wes interacting at the pool! Update soon, please!
| slee5133 chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
lol. thats funny. i love rae, she always get me laughin. keep it up
| into the black chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
I am so amused by Rae. She has a certain...something in her character. I think I feel this Wes and Rae tension going on. Awesome so far! Update
| Not Dead Fred chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
Sometimes this is a tad ...err...fluffy...But we like it anyway!Tis good!
| woodstock1969 chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
Hey! Great chapter. I'm glad that we got in a bit of Izza-Rae time. Wow, that phone convo back at the Mexican restaurant was so awkward. I feel really bad for Wes, since Rae more or less shouted out that she didn't like him. Ouch. Anyway, I can't leave a particularly long review, since it's almost 11:30, and I still have to finish my history homework. But yeah, great job! Update soon!
| Essevera chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
Nice chappie :)
| yangxuan chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
| xPink Blossomsx chapter 9 . 4/22/2007
I love eating popcorn. . Nice chappie. Can't wait to see what happens at the pool .Please update! ]
| Midnight Excursions chapter 4 . 4/22/2007
Oh things heat up, but it seems like everyone Rae runs into is related to, in some way, Wes. It's like one of those six degree things. Hahah, it makes me laugh. Hard actually...
But I have no life and I laugh at everything.
Uhh...another thing you didn't need to know, but I digress. Anyways, I lied. I didn't put a review after every chapter but I tend to do that when I want to know what happens next. Ah, sorry, I live through this stuff so I feel for Rachel. Though, I'm vertically challenged while she, to me, is like a giant...why is that important? Well, everything I say is important. Gosh, I talk too much sorry.
Anyways, it's a little freaky that everything is Wes, and he's related to Wes, and dude! Wes's eyes. But it's good that you're bringing in her brother and more cast. It'll make the story seem...more plausible.
Still overall entertaining.