Reviews for Smooth Move
Sally Can Wait chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
"Especially when the doorbell rang. Whenever the doorbell rang while I was home alone, I would nearly have a heart attack."

Omigosh.

So one time I was home alone and I was walking past the big window in the back of our living room, and at the same time I'm walking by so is this... guy. And so, naturally, I was like, OH MY GAWD, and dove goalie/spy-style on the ground up next to my sofa. Only he could still totally see me, and actually hadn't seen me until I had hurled myself at the ground in front of the window. And I just lied there on the ground completely still, pretending to be dead, while he stared at me for like, thirty seconds, and then went to fix stuff in our backyard that he was supposed to do.

Uh. That happened a long time ago.

Well. Last year. But whatever.

The point: Your story brings back supressed memories. :O

But in an awesome way. xD I love it to death. It is just so amazingly wonderfully fluffy! And I love you! AND SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER, SO I LOVE THE WORLD!

Wes is so cute. But so is Caleb. Although, at this point, they seem kind of similar. But they still need more time for characterization. :D

Loves,

Sally
xPink Blossomsx chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
Oh some Wes/Rae in this chapter! Yay! I liked this chappie a lot. And that tea kettle thing was pretty funny. Please update!
swimchickslam chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
Haha Wes seems like.. a good boy. haha. )
shadowgirl618 chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
oh, sounds like something exciting should happen soon! hopefully. _

by the way, i LOVE the name rae... (see my newest story, "dragonfly"..lol)

) i hope you update soon! and don't worry, this chapter was incredibly awesome too.

shad
jekodama chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
Scaredy cat much? ROFL! Rae is really something... I don't know what she is, but hilarious is a good adjective to describe her. I think this chapter is a little... weird, and my reason to think that is that nothing much happened, except us finding out Emma's life is more fun than Rae's, that Rae hates being alone at home and that she and Wes are both weird and went to a party together because Izza is a hoodwinker. I know, a long list of events but it just feels rather empty. I don't know if anyone agrees with me on this, but I honestly think that a sincere critique is better than empty flattery. Of course, my intention is not to criticize your writing in a destructive way, just to point out what I felt when I read the chapter.

Please don't kill me! pretty please with sugar on top? )

Until the next review!
Essevera chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
Coo cool. The contrasts between your Fateful Friday characters and the ones here are continuing to show. :)

Love the story!
woodstock1969 chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
Hey! Great chapter. The bit with the tea kettle was hilarious. The more you tell about Rae, the more I think "Wow, this girl is basically me." I love her to bits! Wes is also completely adorable. I just hope he wasn't too weirded out by having a tea kettle chucked at him, lol. Update soon!
Georgia Mud Fudge chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
i laughed so hard when someone hit her window and she did a weird bob.

now that i look back on it i don't think it was that funny but i did when i read it the first time.

i also laughed when she threw the tea kettle at him because its something i would do since i often get left home alone and hate it.

once i bought the tv remote controls with me just incase.

anyways enought about me.

i loved it

and cant wait for you to update !
thoughtsofwisdom chapter 5 . 4/1/2007
Well rachel is absolutely WEIRD! Plz tell me she gets relatively normaller soon.

Update soon.
thoughtsofwisdom chapter 3 . 4/1/2007
I was actually wondering about that swedish fish thing. I'm just wondering if his family has a chain of really expensive restaurants why did he have to pay? That seems kind of odd.

Rachel is so out there. I swear when she asked if they were talking about her I almost screamed. She is really kind of a dork and wes is well I'm not really sure what he is, but he is interesting if nothing else.
thoughtsofwisdom chapter 2 . 4/1/2007
*smiles wildly*

How could she think that it was an Italian restaurant? Poor girl.
thoughtsofwisdom chapter 1 . 4/1/2007
Yay! I didn't know you had a new story up so today on a whim I decided to check and I am so happy I did. I was laughing my head off when I read this chapter. Off to read the rest.
SiobhanO chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
good story
CK Shorty chapter 3 . 3/29/2007
Great chapter. The Myspace URL thing...lol, I actually had a guy ask me for my myspace URL while I was at a party. What happened to exchanging phone numbers?
ThatOneKidWhoDoesn'tLikeSalami chapter 5 . 3/28/2007
okay, so i'm FINALLY reviewing. lol. well, here goes.

and i think i've been a part of this conversation at one point in time so i know it IS gramatically correct, but it just sounds so wrong! using myraid like you did that is.

lol: um I don't speak french. sorry but that seems to me to be the most obvious statement in the world.

ps ( or rather something that has nothing to do with the sotry and doesn't fit in my review at all / is just extremely random and i feel like sharing ) i'm eating these amazing chocolate creme filled Pirouette things which are AMAZING and when i was 5 and ate them, i always felt special because they looked like cigarettes but chocolate so they just excited me beyond beleif! (just want to say i have not desire in smoking, its just that as a 9 year it was exciting to eat something that looks like something else which is a grown up treat, but was actually completey healthy (well, as healthy as you'd call chocolate) for you, and chocolate. what could be better?.)

and i just love rae's bluntness. "Oh, so is that french dude your brother?"

okay, so since i've read the chapter through once before and i know how it ends (i'm just starting at the begining because i have no idea where the editting stars (actually you did tell me toward the end but i would be so lost its not a good idea to just search for new instances lol) so just wondering, if Derrick plans on paying for everyone's meal the entire night, then why does he get so awkward when rae asks if they get a discount. i mean, i get the whole, i'm rich and you're not so its just awkward to talk about money and stuff, but if you plan on paying you'd think he'd be less awkward. but then again, from what i remember of the rest of the dinner its just characterist of him and his attitude towards money, specifically his. so if that makes sense cool. because i think i answered my own question, but at the same time didn't. lol don't you love how my reviews are always confusing?

oh and another thing, back to the whole: " is he your brother" (which makes sense where you had it because wes just pointed that fact out) would his cousing and sister necessarily both be working at THAT particular restaurant at the same time he plans on going there for dinner. Unless of course, derrick knows his sister's work schedule (or you' guess he would) so he could have planned it that way. wow, i keep asking questions, but then contradicting myself. lol. But yeah, chain restarant... just ignore that question actually. it became stupid when i started contradicting myself

ps (again with the ps thing, mary, gosh its not a post script? lol totally got that from bekah) but yeah, ... um lost train of thought with previous tangent ... oh yeah, so french as a cheeseburger. pretty hilarious, i must say. but what about french as a french fry? because they're not french either. (at least i'm pretty sure they're not) just commenting though, yours works perfectly, especially with cheesburgers being american and they're in america. or something like that. my thoughts keep dying prematurely tonight.

lol back to her bluntness!: “Well, not really. He’s off in college now, and my mom’s dead.” but it's understandable considering that its an awkward thing to tell someone. but you'd think that after having to tell people that all your life you'd find less awkward ways of telling someone. like "my mom dies when i was two, so it was more half and half. no one real winner" or something so it would be less of a heavy thing to say.

lol i love how wes orders escargot. and rea's reaction. "You're ordering something you probably won't even like!" so sterotypical of her. well actually no. sterotypical means she's putting the person in a general category, but this is more saying that escargot is not a great tasting food. oh well. and i just have to say EW! gross. now it might be true that escargot tastes good, but the mere fact that i would be eating snail would make me gag and not like it. i'm weird lol. or maybe the texture of it would just freak me out. yup

and i'm randomaly reminded of our OCDness and how we just had to fix his shirt today. lol and then we blow on his head to soo if his hair moved? i love how weird we are! by the way, have you seen his profile recently? he's tagged int wo pics and there's clearly beer cans. lets hope administration doesn't see that! (and hes an idiot. you dont drive drunk. ITS SO STUPID!)ps i miss his long hair! its just really bugging me now b.c its not short enough or long enough so that its just EVERYWHERE and the curls he has are just OUT OF CONTROL. wow i'm a freak lol.

omg wes just shoves the fork in her m outh. hilarious.

oh, and if someone offers to pay for my dinner, i let them. i mean, if its a your friends date who you have never met before, then i completely get offering, and insisting, but the third time you just let him pay lol, who says no to a free meal? wow, i sound like shuch a fatty saying that. not that i'm not. fatty ... i think i either got that word from you or stephanie cuz i don't hink i used to say it.

okay, so i never thought of this first time through, so im realy glad im rereading it. but derricks sister reminds me of my borhter. lol no one seems to like him/ her. today ofter school was proof of that. john left a shoe mark on the back of tom's shirt. and later, tom offered linda 5 bucks to kick john in the balls (she didn't. it was sad lol) he was just being really annoying and wanted to leave, so i said okay. tom said i was whipped (and something else mayb ) so i threw my keys at him, (of course, as is soon as i threw them i realized how stupid it was) but he put them down his shirt. so while i was trying to get them back, john was just being really annoying. yeah thats one more of my irrelevent comments lol. ps (omg i feel like i'm being the most REPETTITIVE and bad speller here because i keep reusing words / phrases. but im too lazy to go and look up synonyms, and besides how dorky would that be? using a thesarous for a review. that and im not editing my review so practically ever other word conttains a typo. sorry) but yeah ... lost my original point of the ps. again. ... shrimp is yummy ... no that was not completely random i happen to be eating my dinner at the momment... that going to bug me i have NO idea what i originally planned on saying ... oh yeah, basically this whold review consists of irrelevatnt (to your story that is) comments.

lavender is a pretty color for a dress lol. but izza has a nice way to make up for staring, gotta hand it to her!

"You're such a guy" love that phrase! and i don't overuse it either! actualy, i probably underuse it ... if thats possible, because its not like there's a quota or something for that amount of times you're supposed to say a particular strain of words. hm stuff to ponder.

aw shes embarrassed that derrick / his siter think wes and rea are a couple! that means she must like him!

wait, i am extremely confused! i feel like there should be a chapter six and that be the one you edited, because i definatly remember rae and wait ... i'm pretty sure i've confused character names in this whole entire review. rae is rachel is the girl who met wes in the bookstore. and izza is her friend (im fixing that because otherwise this review could bet REALLY confusing. but then again, you wrote so you'll probably get who i meant. but still, ill fix it) but yeah, i definaly remember the two talking about how he didn't ask for her url. CONFUZED!

OH sarah, when you resubmitted chapters or whatever, you got four and five order messed up. which will make this already insalnly long review even longer. and makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE to me because i was almost positive i remembered reviewing that last chapter already. but i feel kinda stupid now for not actually figuring it out earlier. oh well. here goes. ... again.

okay, so i love how rae pretends to exit dramatically.

OH! i remembered the thing i forgot :). okay so christines facebook group. 500 is too high. we should change it to 100 (because i don't feel like waiting any more)(or you could meassage the members and tell them to invite their friends cuz i have a feeling they're sick of me) but yeah, tine needs a facebook, and she'll never know we only met our quota because we changed it last minute until after she has one! genious, i know. but we should collaborate with the other admins too so its a group effort. or if they have better ideas. lol yeah.

ps, shes sarcastic like you.

okay, so i still think wes likes ray. 1) what type of story would there be if wes DIDN'T like rae. just some random girl meets this guy a lot and then they hate each other and after the first five chapters they never see each other again? i think not. 2) liek you said / wes's dad the dentist said: wes is having troubleadapting. maybe he just didn't want to be too forward because he think she doesn't like him so its hopeless. because her answer to "did you have fun" wasn't much more convincing than raes was, that is if i remember correctly.

... im confused again...so yeah, i finally figured out what you did. which would explain why my reviews (or at least the parts that actually pertain to the story) sould like they're echoing past reviews. because chapter 3 is the same as chapter five. yup. so you get this insanley long review. lol enjoy!
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