|Reviews for Smooth Move|
| StartsWithALine chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
I love her character! She is like me in so many different ways. Though I don't think I would have just laid on the ground after I tripped, haha.
| thatswhatsheesaid chapter 23 . 7/3/2009
so i was randomly going through the cliched romance communities and i came across this one. and i tarted reading it and i totally loved it! i think it was because the character wasn't this tragic love struck teen. she didnt need a guy. and she didnt really want one. she was perfectly okay. but then she became friends with wes and she became closer and closer. and when she did realized she liked him she didnt like start being all lovey and gushy and that wasnt all she ever though about and just gr... i cant explain it. gah i tht! anyways, i liked her character and the story because it was your most common cliche at least. i luved when she was at the dentists office. XD favorite part not between her and wes. i liked it because it didn't rush into things and it had detail it wasn't like, "wes talked to a pretty girl. the girl glared at me..." like a lot of them on FP. so yes it was probably one of the better stories i've read on here in a while. so you should continue writing. whenever you get the time obviously. XD anyways i'll go now considering this was one long ass review. :D(this is probably the longest review i've ever written...or at least one of the longest.)
| LocalYokel chapter 10 . 7/2/2009
Ok so I've read this story so far and well, I really liked the first chapter. It was funny, the characters' personalities were well portrayed and nothing was too over the top like with some stories I've seen. HOWEVER, I really don't want to be mean or anything but rae's personality is really starting to grate on me. It's the constant bickering with anyone and everyone and there's just no real depth to her character, which is probably something that should have been developed a bit more by this point seeing as it's the tenth chapter. She's annoyed by pretty much everyone around her and she just seems really cold and self centred person, which really puts me off as a reader.
I really can't read a story where the protagonist's personality really doesn't have any chemistry with anyone or anything apart from the books she reads.
I'm really sorry for the negative review there but I just had to say it :S
On the positive side I really do think you have a knack for being descriptive and your vocabulary is brilliantly mature, something that I really appreciate in a writer.
Hope you don't hate me after this :S
| So.Who.Will.Call.Me.Beautiful chapter 22 . 7/2/2009
I loved the ending. I practically squealed when she finally confessed that she loved him...it was so cute!
| Devilish Kisses chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
Lol, you're main character sounds alot like me! I read books by the bucketload because I have no life and Sarah Dessen truly is amazing! As soon as i read that line about her book, i just had to review. So now, i'm going to read the rest of the chapter! P.s. have you read SD's new book along for the ride? I have yet to read it
| VampireSandwich chapter 23 . 6/17/2009
I loved your story, I read it all in one sitting. I love happy, cliche endings. Thank you for some feel-good reading. You're a good writer.
| Shut Up and Smile chapter 10 . 6/9/2009
my name is sammy (you may have guessed by my name)
i just read ur story (im on chapter 10.. yes i know im sloww - but oh dear lord i have soo many assignments and crap due i needed a break andd your lovely story has done the impossible and made me laugh after doing soo much darn school work - oh how i do hate school) and back to your story - it was freaking hilarious i don't think i've laughed that hard in ages!
BAH HAH who runs into a bookshelf and pretends they're kind of, not really knocked out - i was cacking myself. I totally love IZZA she is awsome and of course Rachel and Wes are col too and should be TOGETHER cos they are just way too cute - anyways i would love to write more but i gotta go to netball training soo ill shall catchya later
| Bluecoco100 chapter 3 . 5/27/2009
lmao, the ending was hilarious. totally took the cake man. The whole line about the myspace url thing. I loved it!
| thesewords chapter 1 . 5/21/2009
Yep. His eye color changes. You should definitely fix that!
| thesewords chapter 4 . 5/21/2009
Okay so I haven't gone back to the first chapter to check yet, but didn't Wes originally have hazel eyes? And now they're dark brown? I don't know, I'll go look.
| little-red-bag chapter 8 . 5/19/2009
While I appreciate the rarity of authors on fp who uses esoteric words, I found your story a true headache to read and it's not because of the vocabulary. I found the main character to be flighty and long winded. Her thoughts are very annoying and jumbled. I seriously tried to stick with this but I must stop reading it now. Your story about Patrick Fitzpatrick was better.
| kcat chapter 13 . 5/15/2009
hi, me again, sorry (especially since you worte this about 2 years ago and probably don't care anymore) but . . .
it's now just boring, and I really don't care enough to keep reading.
You've done the whole 'people have a shadowey past' thing and now it just feels like you're killing time, trying to build up relationships slowly or it feels too rushed but having no actual plot while that happens.
Part of this is probably due to the fact it also feels like you have absolutely no clue where this is going. I'm sure you know the essentials but it seems like you don't have an outline for each chapter, you're just writing until you get to the end, dropping the necessary clues and hints occaisionally.
| kcat chapter 10 . 5/15/2009
Look, I'm sorry and it's just an opinion, but your main character is so annoying!
She started off as quirky but ok, too concerned with what people think of her and rather american-high-school-girl-ish but ok, then descended into this child-like persona. Arguing absolutely everything even(or especially) when she's wrong and has absolutely no right to, and behaving like a spoilt child when she doesn't get her way.
I know you're trying to combat the self-righteous thing, but it's still annoying.
| Foreveraschadenfreude chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
love it! superb.. excellent job:)
| WanderingLight chapter 23 . 4/21/2009
Great story. I think that you should continue writing, and working with all types of characters. That way you can branch out. This story was really entertaining. If you ever want any more help let me know. Congratulations on an amazing piece of work.