Reviews for Do you love me?
Elliptical Shapes chapter 1 . 2/28/2007
Once again, your syntax is a serious blow to your work. You seem content to sprinkle commas just about anywhere with little thought as to how they affect the flow of the work. Any way, i'm not going to re-arrange them for you again, you seem like you might have the mental efficacy to do it yourself, which I must encourage.

"You left IN a hurry" would have fitted better both grammatically and lingually in the third line; also, you didn't put a capital after your full stop on the line "You said you love me".

You have a poetic mind, but your use of the language lets you down a bit, which is a shame. With a little more thought, you could improve greatly.

Good luck,

Alan
rose chapter 1 . 2/28/2007
cute poem :P