Reviews for I'll be Reborn by Morning
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/5/2009
I don't think I've ever read anything as beautiful as that.

I think that's all I really need to say.

You have the ability to create strong, powerful, BEAUTIFUL images and I envy your talent.

PLEASE write more, that's all I ask of you.

I would love honest suggestions/feedback on my work on fictionpress. Opinions from a writer like you would be very helpful and I would appreciate it!
Tipped chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
O.o

i am floored..
Tytherpol chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
this is pretty art,

and it is very good to read

and to think about,

and i like it

a lot.

really.
Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
I like the relationship of all these poems, and imagining what they might mean. The different states and memories of yourself, and your decision in the final poem to be "reborn"-whether that means to become someone different from who you are now or to become a truer version of yourself. "Breaking up with Will" was easiest the best out of the five, in my opinion.

I love the references to water. "Like words into a cup, already bubbling with river water./I watch you pull it to your lips and suck." And tons more lines. Very pretty.
like a lover chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
i -love- the second poem. something about it reminds me of rain on a windowpane.

and: "I don’t know if December makes sense? -/if it’s lovely enough to scar myself with,/but, unscathed, I tattoo it on my skin to remember" - perfect. i love that part.
disabled account chapter 1 . 3/23/2007
These poems were like a tableau of elegance - one melting seamlessly into the other and, even when I was not able to interpret the significance of the poem completely, I was quite smitten with the gorgeously exotic imagery. Adieu, Kat
classic violet chapter 1 . 3/17/2007
Oh God... these are fucking beautiful.

Breaking up with Will was gorgeous and heart wrenching. Your poetry always dazzles me with it's colours and images.

I loved all of them, especially Tabacco, but Breaking up with Will was my favorite. God... just so incredible.
Holly Rose E chapter 1 . 3/16/2007
For Tobacco: The fourth stanza has the most striking imagery of all, and I like how you are so consistent with the formatting. short, long, staccato, whatever.

Breaking up with Will: This screams of a silent need, I see a desperate woman reaching to the sky and tracing wide, swooping patterns as she sways and sways to something inside of her head. It has a wonderful beat to it, which I especially enjoyed, and it was sing-song (though a rather grotesque sing-song) in my head.

Untitled: "boy? / girl!" oh brilliance.

Untitled II: Actually, this reminds of something of what a Dresden Doll song might be like. With each repition of "those dark hours" the voice in the poem grows stronger, right until the very last line. Lovely.

End: It's like just something one would say on a whimsy and they don't understand the impact that it makes.

Gah. As always, utterly flawless.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
This is nothing short of amazing. Just some of the things you came up with - "I've stretched sunlight,/like a thorny thread/through my skin," "the sky's screaming poetry," "we sit topsy-turvy in coffee shops," "folding drips into your clay cup," "Your tongue/tastes like earthen sun," "I fold the water into square love letters," "tucking black piano keys into the melted white." Just everything is unique & perfect & it just works so well. I'm incredibly envious of your talent with words. A favorite, for sure. Keep writing! :)
she smolders chapter 1 . 3/9/2007
These five poems are all so brillant, but I can relate the most with the last one. You're very talented. Take care.
SamHobbit chapter 1 . 3/9/2007
Dude, that's AWESOME! I love the 'end'. Very true.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
Oh.

I don't know what I love more about; you words or how hard the hit me.

- Noelle
Elenive chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
I get sucked in to your work so easily. The images are so powerful that I can't get enough.

"I fold the water into square love letters, weave it into memory, waste it..."
Dale Christopher chapter 1 . 3/7/2007
I love the title. I always put a lot of thought into the titles of my work, sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. This title absolutely works; it caught my eye out of over fifteen other poems in my author alert.

The opening line has the very same effect; ‘I’ve stretched sunlight, like a thorny thread through my skin’ – It has that effect some words have, it grabs your attention. It also featured in the summary, so I assume you knew that.

‘bleeding across my knees,

blurring alongside too many men, and

bleached by the sky’s screaming poetry’ – I love how honest and human this sounds. I love the way you mingle poetry with reality, it makes the reader feel as if he or she is reading your thoughts, or seeing the world from your point of view.

‘I crave the moon

like, you crave your tobacco.’ – The emphasis on the sun and the moon in this is very impressive. Something about this line made me think of Wicca girl writing poetry by the moonlight.

‘Memory:

I write everyday.

It comes naturally,

like sun

and moon.’ – I love this ending; it feels, to use your word, natural. Again, the sun and moon create a strong visual.

This next poem I felt you put the most work into. Not just because it went the longest, but I felt you put yourself into it, picked every word carefully.

‘Locally, we sit topsy-turvy in coffee shops,

Seattle-style. Home. It drips.

Like words into a cup, already bubbling with river water.

I watch you pull it to your lips and suck.’ – Very visual. The reader get a feel for the people featured in the poem, how they live and such.

‘Your tongue tastes like earthen sun’ – I love this line. Such an original phrase.

‘I fold the water into square love letters,

weave it into memory,

waste it...’ – This just may be my favourite line in the entire poem, the visual is amazing. To commit something to memory means you’re getting rid of any other evidence it ever existed. ‘Waste it’ tells me that you’re keeping it to yourself, and it’s wasted because it’ll always be hidden.

‘or how I sat silently for over a year.’ – This is such a sed line. Relatable, too.

‘holding the sweltering cup of river water to your salty teeth,

gulping my body through yourself like a straw’ – Again, the visual is so vivid.

‘Remembering how

angelic the pain felt throughout the curves of my poetry.’ – This sounds very personal, like something you went through changed you somehow, and maybe poetry is a metaphor for your body or soul.

‘Remembering the river water, running,

and then stolen...

swallowed,

and then gone’ – Such a sad, final ending. The water theme in this poem made it seem different than most things you write, like tears falling on to the paper. I’ve read a lot of your work, but this particular poem would have to be the most personal I can think of. Amazing work. Truly.

The first Untitled confused me a little. It seems to be a question you mull over, then suddenly come to a realization that was there all along. The use of the word ‘naturally’ took me back to the first poem.

The second Untitled was, obviously, full of lust. What made it stand out however was the fact that it wasn’t about the sex, rather the memory.

‘Those dark hours without makeup on my face.’ – Amazing line. It shows that you were comfortable with your lover, or with the darkness.

‘It wasn’t all about that, but I loved you fully in those dark hours.’ – Incredible ending. Compared to the rest of the poem, it seemed so human, so honest. Kind of like that feeling when you remember something that used to make you cry and one day you realize you’re not crying anymore. It’s not a happy thought, but not a completely sad one, either.

‘I’m flirting with the boy at the bookstore.

Lying.

Recreating myself;

I’ll be reborn by morning.’ – This hit me the hardest. It’s kind of like an epilogue, you’re moving on. The fact that you refer to it as lying makes me think that you’re pretending to be happy, but underneath you’re still just trying to cope. Recreating yourself is such a complex thing, but the line made me think that the boy at the bookstore is the first step to becoming someone knew. And the last line, well, I’ve already told you how much I love the title. It was the perfect ending.

Peace, Daze
JR Gringo chapter 1 . 3/7/2007
Surprise! Long time no see, eh? My, you've been prolific!

Anyway, the poem: although I can't fully relate, it is really well-written. Word choice and placement are perfect. There is a lot of action, interaction, and visual thoughts in each poem. Seems very real and heartfelt, as if your feelings simply replaced the words. Also, I assume you meant for them to kind of fit together into a story. That was my impression...could be wrong. "Untitled" and "End" were my fav. two poems, but overall, really great job!
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