|Reviews for The Dragon Isles|
| Piroko Hatake chapter 6 . 5/24/2009
This story was my favorite! POSITIVE BENEFITS! That one made me laugh! I love this! More please!
| frogs of war chapter 6 . 3/31/2009
Not all dragons are clever but they are all stubborn.
Silver - Aeyn and Mirofal balance. They are equals to none but each other.
Black - Deyllgo needed is little human.
Grey - How is Teynaise going to get an heir? As king it would be his duty.
Red - Even though the story is from Ruadh's POV, it's easy to see why Vinnissaen can't stand him. Puadh is funny. He thinks the world of himself. Poor long suffering Vinnessaen.
Blue - Does Faelin's coloring change depending on the season of his home island or the season of where he is at the moment? Going for the northern hemisphere to the southern for instance.
Oh and, I heard it's better to leave off the "he said", "she stated", etc. from the ends of paragraphs if said paragraph started with an action. The reader knows who said it, so all the tag does it detract from the quote.
| rose-by-anyothername chapter 6 . 12/26/2008
...How in the world does this story not have more reviews? I loved it so much, how each chapter was basically another love story but that they all inter-related. I think my favorites were...well...all of them. XD Wonderful job. D
| Cari Marie chapter 2 . 11/22/2008
Just letting you know that you need to update the link on this chapter. It's suppose to lead to Ammasour's fic but b/c she updated her livejournal, it's wrong. It took me a while to figure out where she had it tagged.
| Cari Marie chapter 1 . 5/28/2008
I was just wondering if you were aware of this fic:
The author, cobcat, gives you credit but its totally fanfiction of Dragon Isles.
| Prisoner-11 chapter 5 . 2/10/2008
I know I'll feel bad about leaving a review that has nothing to do with critiq but...I'm going to say this anyways.
I LOVE the Red Dragon story. It makes me want to squeal like a fangirl. I suppose it's mostly because of Vinnissaen. His type of temperment is always entertaining, and the repercussions of Ruadh's actions are even more so. Ah well.
| The Yaoi Hime chapter 2 . 2/4/2008
recently you give me reason to recreate my LJ even though I never ever EVER use it if not just to better keep track of your stories. If my writing muse would allow me to be even half as active as you...ah well I shall read on and continue being the obsessive stalker I have recently become.
| Curb Crasher chapter 6 . 1/11/2008
Oh, that was so cool! And cute. I liked Glesyn and Riadh a lot, probably because they had such hard romances to figure out. Well, not hard, but their lovers are a bit testy in a nice way. . . . I probably really like the others, too, but today I read these last three chapters, so they are clearest in my mind.
So, thank you for writing!
| The Mumbling Sage chapter 1 . 6/10/2007
Gee...I'm almost speechless...
That's acutally a good thing. This story reads easily and doesn't seem to have any glaring mistakes/typos/errors/etc. So as I read, the stuff I point out may be a little nitpicky. But, y'know, it just feels wrong to read without reviewing, and to review without giving some advice.
Stuff in  has been changed from it's orignal form to correct spelling if necessary or to add commas. Sometimes I split up sentances in ways I thought read easier. Obviouly, you don't have to take all- or any- of my suggestions.
P2-I think 'persumption' is used correctly there, but it's a sort of strange word. 'Assumption' or however you do the noun of 'assume' would probably work better.
P3: Could be- 'The dragon isles [-/:] a handful of remote islands clustered together in the far them lay nothing but the endless expanse of the eastern sea.'
Also, 'easterner' might or might not be capitalized. A country name might work there, unless they're just the inhabitants of the eastern area of a large country.
P5: The second sentance seems a little long and unweildly. I think it could be split into two or maybe three sentances without losing its effect.
P6: 'Magic storm' might be better as 'Magical storm' or even something like 'Sorcerous Storm/Conjured storm' since it was threatening Mirofal's life. And if there's a sudden force to the front of the boat (which it is when running aground) wouldn't Mirofal pitch back rather then forwards (if by forwards
you mean towards the front of the boat)?
P7: 'Even as he swung a leg up and over the side[,] the churning waves caused the boat to grip [slid/slipped] and Mirofal went over with a startled cry.'
Also,if he fell into the water, isn't it possible that he'd drown while unconcious?
P8: If he's concious, he's not dreaming. Maybe 'he didn't open his eyes for a long time, and even when he did, he wasn't certian if he was awake'? Or similar.
Should 'dragon isle' be capitalized?
P9: Don't know if you can crack an eye open hazily. I think what you're trying to say is that he opened his eyes and everything looked hazy or blurry.
'Harsh starkness'- a little redundant and for some reason hard on my ear. This is probably just a nitpick.
P10: As a habit, I wince when I see the word 'ass' when someone isn't counciously swearing. While not exactly a cuss, it's not some word you use in polite sociaty, and seemed a bit out of place when discussing a character who's only just been introduced, and in a genial setting.
Lost track of paragraphs here, anyway:
'I am a dragon," the silver man insisted. - 'Insisted' makes it sound a bit to ernest, like he's trying to argue a point- strongly. 'Repeated' might be better. Aeynanyi just seems to poised and perhaps confindant to 'insist'
Gee. Aeyn's getting rather friendly rather quickly. And goodness, I still have most of the chapter left!
'sanest thing in the seas'- I suppose nautical terms would make sense, given the fact that Mirofal lives along the coast, but they aren't quite 'in' the sea. I mean, when you think about it, what is the sanest thing in the sea? Fish? Kelp? Scuba divers?
After the 2nd row of -
3rd paragraph: 'Either was equally distracted'- think you mean distracting, and you could join this sentance and the one after it with a ':' or a ';'.
"I haven't really seen that many of them[,]: he admitted. The ellipses were okay, but you already used them twice in that same line. The other option would be to say "I could try...but I haven't really seen all that many of them", which would mean getting rid of 'he flushed', or leaving it as it is, where the multpile ellipses look a little strange, epecially with two non-dialouge bits in as well.
Okay, strange question but: Is Deyllgo black? He has black hair, nails, and eyes; and it would make sense if his skin is also black, but you don't say one way or another- at least in your first description of him.
Is the 'black' Mirofal's thinking of Deyllgo? Because if it is, you'd think he'd be smart enough to figure out why it isn't around...
'Both were watching the three on the rampart rather curiously, if such an emotion could be assigned to creatures as large and deadly as these.'-'Watching' doesn't really count as an emotion. Plenty of large deadly creatures watch stuff. Normally stuff they're about to eat.
Could you explain what about the dragon's eyes convinced Mirofal that Aeyn is a dragon?
'"it would also necessitate removing my clothing[,] which you seem to object to..."
If humans killed Deyllgo's lover a few years ago, then that would mean humans have seen dragons recently...though very few people outside of Mirofal's country seem to believe in them. Even if by 'some years ago' Aeyn acutally means a few centuries, stories would still be told of it.
Out of curiosity, are there any female dragons around? We just keep meeting the males...which is cool, but, y'know, unless they grow from spores or something...
How did the green dragon respond? Did he growl something? Or can dragons speak a human language even in dragon form?
I didn't really notice anybody defering to Aeyananyi. I sort of figured that nobody could tell him what to do because of a 'mind your own buisiness' policy.
Is Mirofal's brother really paranoid or is Mirofal acutally guilty of something? And is 'paranoid' a word that really works in the middle-ages-esque setting you have here?
I dunno about kissing a dragon's feet...particularily with claws on them...
'spilling crimson blood into the sand and staining the formerly pristine beach'- firstly, 'crimson' is a word I tend to roll my eyes at, not because of fantasy but because of poorly-written emo poetry. We can figure that blood is crimson. If you want to use a word to describe it, try 'red' or 'rust' or even 'carmine'. Secondly, 'formerly prisitine beach' makes it almost sound as if people are offended that the poor dragon is bleading crimson all over their pristine carpets of sand. 'Staining the sand to the color of rust' would be an interesting way to rephrase that sentance, among others.
'clinically'- is Mirofal a healer? Otherwise, I'm not sure that 'clinically' works for him. Or in this setting.
Oh yeah- it also helps if you mention when dragons are in dragon or human from. I was uncertian about Deyllgo until he spread his wings.
the 'something' that grabbed him could probably be changed to 'someone' or just 'a dragon', since we all know what's grabbing him and it seems rude to call a sentiant creature/character a 'thing'.
Ahh...here's the lady dragons. Funny that Mirofal's embarassed around them, when it's Aeyn he's attracted to...
Hmm...and is Aeynanyi still wearing clothes?
Why do dragons change to human form to heal/be treated? Shouldn't they be able to do these things in dragon form, which is after all their natural state?
Isn't Mirofal also a teenager? I was under that impression...maybe it's early twenties.
Heh. Aeynanyi did ditch the clothes.
I don't thin Aeynanyi should be so surprised that humans attacked his brother, since they attacked Deyllgo's lover too.
When working with villains that are, shall we say, not mentally sound, you might want to be careful that you aren't just using insanity/paranoia as an excuse. Is there a specific reason Cuethac snapped? Perhaps concern for his child?
Ruadh seems to make up his mind pretty quickly. But it seems a little rude to wait the Wind Lord while he's treating his injured brother and then pounce to propose a war.
Yes. Madness if a very dangerous thing to drive a villain. More dangerous for the author than anybody else, though. I'd advise you to check on the psycology of paranoia before this idea heads in a wrong direction. And that's not nitpicking, it's warning.
Ahh...how does Aeyn know Mirofal is from Temnia?
'Not nearly as strong as the protests had been when Aeynanyi had announced he was going along in the first place [-] Mirofal was still trying to recover his hearing from that one [-] but still vehement. '
I swear there's been a couple of times when this chapter could have been split and made shorter. I think I've spent a good 40 minutes on it so far. I'm still reading it, and it's still interesting, but it's very, very long.
Isn't Mirofal wanted or something? I'd be iffy about alerting the guards to my presance- or, if I wanted them to live, letting Deyllgo be in charge of attacking them.
Hmm...second thoughts. Nice trait for a character to have. Although I had to do some quick mental connect-the-dots to realize that he suddenly felt bad about killign Cuethac because he remembered playing with him as a child, vs feeling pained because he was out of breath or something :p words like 'pain' can go in multiple directions.
I suppose it was too much to hope for the Cuethac straightened up. Mad villians rarely do.
His brother is a magician? Didn't expect that one.
'ass' again. I'm sorry, there's got to be a better word.
If Cuethac wanted to give up his madness, he could have just gone along with Mirofal. His death didn't really seem necessary from that point of view.
Hmm...so this chapter is so long basically because it is a short story? But then what are the rest of the chapters about?
| Jessi 'Pixie' Watson chapter 5 . 6/2/2007
I LOVE THE DRAGONS!
they're all . . . . dragony.
i need a new vocab.
| Escagirl chapter 1 . 5/29/2007
The Azure and Azure Seas are set in the same world as the Dragon Isles, right?
So, will the crew of the Azure ever meet the dragons? Maybe Riven's dad sends him off to do diplomatic-y stuff with Mirofal? And, of course, he would go on the Azure, because of Lanthus and also because Nae would probably think it'd be a great adventure or something, right?
| The Art Bum chapter 4 . 5/26/2007
Ah, sorry I've been absent on LJ lately, computer and school issues (I am the_rue_morgue on LJ :)). I've decided recently to pull my FP account out and dust it off, so it seemed a perfect way to leave a review for this story :) Especially because you've been so down about its lack of response on LJ :(
Firstly, now you've got me wondering just how many mythical creatures exist in this world! And I suppose you've opened the door for plenty more in the future. Yay kitsune :)
I think Vinnissaen is becoming one of my favorite characters of yours T_T; I love how he always ends up getting the better of Ruadh in the end. It's simply marvelous. And Ruadh is a darling, especially with that mouth of his ;
I definitely would like to see more of these two ;)
(And dangit, now I want to do a take on dragons X_x)
| Escagirl chapter 4 . 5/23/2007
::snigger:: I love this fic.
| xanthofile chapter 3 . 3/15/2007
goodness, only one review? almost unthinkable. but okay, i'm leaving a review on my favorite section of this story, chapter three, or the grey dragon. absolute favorite. by far.
i should work on my fairy tale sort of writing, but i doubt i could ever come up with something as grand, so i might just stick to what i do best.
anyways. your talent is remarkable.
| Kynnetic chapter 3 . 3/10/2007
I absolutely, positively adore these stories. I especially liked Deyllgo with all the human bashing he does. It's hilarious! I hope that you continue with more stories for 'The Dragon Isles' in the future. I would love to know how Liath and Teynaise relationship works out...