Reviews for Beat Me Down
TheThingsSheSaid chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
*whistles* Intense. But it's meaningful to me, since I know a lot of kids who are bullied, and I think they feel like this.
Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/26/2009
[Control my life]

I'm wondering why every line in the entire second stanza ends with a period except this one.

I also think this was an interesting take on the topic you had to do.

I liked the ending because of how it was contradictory to the rest of the poem and the format really emphasized and made it stronger.

- Review Marathon, link in profile.
lymli chapter 1 . 12/24/2008
aw, the last line made a great difference... it's a curious poem.

merry christmas and happy new year.
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 12/12/2008
I really liked this poem, especially the last stanza, it wasn't what I expected. I really relate to the content as well. Great job.

Peace.
deefective chapter 1 . 10/27/2008
Review Marathon Prize!

Oh, I really liked how you started this. It was powerful and I could really feel the gravity of your words. Also, the ending was perfect. Especially since you italicized that last phrase. That formatting just emphasized your words even more and made it all the better. Nicely done.
tofujunky chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
I actually like this, especially the last line. The humor just fits somehow. I must admit though that I'm somewhat confused. Your summary says this is a response to a rap video, but it reads like a response to a video on rape. To me it did. Maybe that's why I deemed it so intriguing.
Blissfully Sarcastic chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
It was...okay.

The last line canceled out the second to last stanza, though.

But it was written beautifully. D
123454321 chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
I like the repetition of the second stanza; it helps convey the mentality of one dealing with what is happening.

I think the first two lines are the weakest. I didn't like them because they didn't flow with the rest of the piece as well. I understand that this is meant to be somewhat sporatic and panicked, but the list in the second line doesn't seem to fit.

-J.A

*Prize for the review marathon*
GothicSpook chapter 1 . 11/16/2007
I got the image of a slave in the 19th century with this one. Very powerful!

x
applescm chapter 1 . 3/9/2007
I haven't been on this site in awhile, I admit, but I still am a fan of your writing!

I really like this one, expecially the end.
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 3/9/2007
Interesting point. Thomas Sowell in his "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" makes several interesting points about 'ghetto culture'; the most important being that it's not African culture, but the culture of the 'crackers' and border peoples of England/Scotland that was diffused throughout the American South and has now been enshrined as 'Black Culture.' Ironic, but historical. m
The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 3/8/2007
I get a really creepy image, Simple Plan, of a black dude saying this-that's why it seems so weird! I think, in a way, the inner consciousness of all beings sound this way-but isn't it weird how stereotypes really make things awkward?

I might be wrong, but I see the black rapper saying this-the first stanza and the last line are what disturb me the most, though. Because there is a certain ethnocentric notion that overrides stereotypes, and that's a collective view.

I try to envision the Asian saying this, and I can't. Because Asians haven't gone through this sort of thing.

I think what might unsettle me is that this is in the "I" form, a singular entity. Only ONE black man who suffers as opposed to many-Maybe "We" would be more appropriate, taking on the collective voice of all who have suffered. "I" seems more for the American view, and maybe some European views, and if ever "I" is used in rap, it is anecdotal.

"We" would be a better representative of generational suffering, I think, Simple Plan.

Don't throw rocks at me!