Reviews for The White Dragon
Forgotten Love Letters chapter 4 . 4/8/2007
O! I really like this story! Shalom's hot _ update soon, i can't wait to read more. And I love your name!
xxroseangelkurodin chapter 2 . 3/27/2007
This is really interesting and I liked the way youy paced it. I'll be looking forward to the next update :)
Callitha chapter 1 . 3/19/2007
Interesting concept and world you've created. I'm interested in the system of magic and why no one but a little girl could use it. What form of government do they have? (not a question you necessary have to answer right away, just what came into my head as I was reading).

Some tips to clean up this chapter:

It's a little confusing as to who the narrator is, and while you seem to have chosen Third Person point of view, it changes often from Shalom to the little girl to Iagan. I suggest telling the story from one person's point of view and breaking the chapter if you need to change the point of view.

Related to the above comment, the pronouns get a bit confusing as well, as to whether the 'he' refers to Shalom or Iagan.
Mary Chrys chapter 1 . 3/19/2007
oh, that's awesome. I think your story is really interesting.
WhiteWidow chapter 1 . 3/19/2007
Coolies. More please. Not an interesting review, I know, but that's all I can think of for now.