Reviews for The Suicide Poem
HiHelloMisterBear chapter 1 . 4/23/2009
That is beautiful.

I don't even know why it is beautiful but I pictured it in my head and just had to tell you that I thought it was beautiful.

Not the whole kid getting hit by the car but... the words.

I'm going to stop.
Insomnia Breeds Insanity chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
You must have had some math teacher. This is beautiful, by the way. I want that kind of talent sometimes.
softer side of apples chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
THIS TOOK MY BREATHE AWAY I WAS SEEING THIS AS I READ THIS; I FELT LIKE I SEEN THIS OCCURING IN REAL LIFE. I AM DRAWN TO YOUR WRITINGS.
Jeannie-Redd chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
Really well written and very intense. Keep up the good work.

Jeannie-Redd
Cross Rose chapter 1 . 9/7/2007
...Interesting...you said you got inspired by your old math teacher, eh? Interesting...
Kindre Turnany chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
I liked "Useless" and "That smile of death."

The middle got a bit hard to follow. And I don't like "I alone." I don't have a good reason, it just sounds bad to me, awkward.

The end got a bit choppy. I don't know if you wanted that for some effect or whatever, but I didn't like it.

I think you overused the repetition.
tuieri chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
sometimes death is a beautiful thing, and noone can say that it is wrong. sometimes it is not.

death is a horrible thing for the people who live.

this was good. kinda somber but thoughtful.
mrs.miserable chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
hey...

I've read your personal profile (which I found quite amusing), and I thought I'll read some of your works.

Interesting poem.

"The smile of death" -What I have had in my mind was a more peaceful kind of smile people would have before their death if they had passed away with no pain, etc. (like a peaceful death at their bed). So this kind of smile of death is kind of disturbing in a sense for me. Especially that "perverse little smile".

Perhaps, he is dying peacefully.
Tahlia Persint chapter 1 . 5/7/2007
This is too depressing for me...I do not like it no offense but I am an upbeat person. I hate poems that are about dying. Sorry.
spacehikariangel chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
That was very poignant and beautiful in a tragic sort of way. I love the way it flows and the end line is just perfect!
The Jynx of Kari chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
Seriously, the summary sucked me in. Then I read it and felt sorry for the train driver for feeling guilty but then I thought of the teenage boy and how...the last three lines really struck me. Amazing imagery [that's how you spell it?] and perfect representation of the thought running through the driver's mind. I wouldn't be able to live with knowing that I had helped someone commit suicide...even tho it might've relieved of any pain he might've experienced...

nevermind,

_Kari
xLilyx chapter 1 . 4/15/2007
:) I liked this. It's such a readable poem, i even ended up muttering it outloud to myself. I like the way its from the train drivers view, i don't know how you could live after seeing something like that.

thought
Sanseui-kitty chapter 1 . 4/7/2007
wow, i'm speechless. this is wonderful. i love the imagery. :)
Princess Daenerys chapter 1 . 4/6/2007
O_o

o_O

...It swept me away.
zz00 chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
Nice work, has a narrative feel. This is well-written, thought-provoking and expressive. All I'd say is that it feels more like prose than poetry. I would suggest using more metaphorical and euphonic language, because this piece (though nicely done in itself) feels more like a short story than verse. Well done however.

And thanks for your review. I appreciate your honesty. Oh well, it was an experiment.:)
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