|Reviews for Trystan Hier|
| Eet chapter 1 . 3/24/2008
Thanks so much for the beta request. I love getting those. *ahem* Anyway, onto business.
Overall impression: very well written and intriging. The names are also fitting to the time period. The way the three men at the beginning were introduced was extremely well done.
“Then run, Gwen, run NOW
The end of this sentence lacks both punctuation and a quotation mark.
“Is Lord Yorath dead?” The girl asked,
"The" before "girl" should be lowercase.
You make the above mistake quite a few times, so I'm not going to point out every instance.
As I said before, the piece is well-written overall, and it will be interesting to see where you take the plot thread. However, it is disappointing to see it hasn't been updated in a while (though I'm hardly one to talk about not-updated stories...).
Another random mention: The metaphor of the swordfighting and the painter with a paintbrush was just lovely. Mind you, this is coming from someone who has never had much skill at metaphors.
I'm not sure if you wanted a permanent beta for this story or just for this chapter. If it is the former, I'm interested by what I've read so far.
P.S. You should also totally check out my historical fiction work, Noli Me Tangere. I just can't resist advertising.
| lady-kyleian chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
What do I think so far?
Trystan is a very mysterious character... that I think you're going to do something wonderful with!
| RangeRider chapter 1 . 5/26/2007
This was fantastic! But I want to know more...Trystan seems like such a good man, but I'm curious because of this sentence, when he was brought into the jail: "Having been in a similar situation before, Trystan knew what was expected of him."
This is an awesome piece of work. I noticed no grammar or spelling errors, though I wasn't really looking for them. WONDERFUL job! Please continue!
| Aeronwy chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
Love this! I really, really can't wai to see what happens. Loads of description and details. Trystan is great. You've made a really special main-character. Great story!