|Reviews for The Elements: Hours of Darkness RW|
| Alternia chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
I just have to say first and foremost, do you know that your writing is the shiznit? I mean seriously! I love this story ((thus far)) and if you don't submit more, may God take pity on your soul once I am through with it. Damnit.
Anyhoos, I love the intro/prologue at the begining. It's like a story in its own and yet the reader ((if they are able to think deeply enough)) is left wondering how it relates to the story. I also really like the body of the story, although there could have been more action ;p! But I do like how you introed each character and show right-off-the-bat what their personalities were like. All in all, I think you did a very good job on description ((although you might want to work on some of the repition, especially at the end)); I like how you can visualize the actions and environents of the story; and I also really enjoy how you were able to put the entire story into its proper context, so as the reader can clearily understand how the story is suposed to be read and what the correct tone is and all that jazz. Great job on all of it dude! Can't wait to see more _!
| Nora27 chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
OH MY GOSH! It is way better than the first 'The Elements: Hours of Darkness'. I really loved it unlike the first one, the re-write grabed my attention right away. I loved the little details that you put into it to. Such as the use of our last names. Lol. I love the cliff hanger so keep it up and update real soon! I promise that as soon as you put it out i'll read it! Nora27
| Anya Tempest chapter 1 . 4/11/2007
She lives! SHE LIVES!
There are painful creaks and bizarre noises as the long dormant profile lights up and begins whirring (well... more "buzzing" - those darn viruses gnaw away at everything!). The long lost Anya Tempest rouses herself from the slumber of the exhausted art-student and leaps into hr "review-bot" super-suit, designed by some old professor guy somewhere to withstand the rigors of cyberspace. As her typo and flame-retardent armour once again activates, she wipes the cobwebs from off her "nit-pick" specs and climbs forward into her monitor, journeying through darkest blog-spaces and battling the dreaded "firefoxes" to reach fictionpress, that most hallowed and enlightened (har har) of literary jungles!
Heh... I should probably post that as a story in itself. My apologies, what I thought would be a mildly amusing wheeze of an entry turned into a giant display of my own dorkiness. Oh, the shame! And yet, I like it too much to simply delete... oh well...
Glad to see you're back, and glad to see I'm back too, for now at least. Hopefully I'll be around for a while.
Okay, this is a little embarassingly short-sighted, I don't know what else to say. Umm...ok... I'll leave while I'm behind.
| Jenae chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
This story is starting off very interesting and exciting. I can not wait to read more of it and see what else is in store for the Elements Team. Your beginning paragraph was very well writen and caught my eye right away, very nice job. Your writing style has grown from the last time I had read something of yours, and it was even great then. I hope you update soon.
| WyrdWolf chapter 1 . 3/25/2007
I saw this alert in my inbox and said, "No way." I wish I could have seen my face as it was, reflected in the computer screen at the thought of you finally posting something!
But you seem to have chided yourself enough for this minor foible (God, that's a fun word), so I'll just get to what matters: reviewing!
The beginning, italicized part was very nice and effective in its telling. Well written. Also amazing what listening to 'Signs of Life' by Pink Floyd will do to reading italics.
Nothing livens up a post-school day like armed enemies. Fun to fight, as I say, along with conspiring, mysterious men meeting each other in secrecy. o.O
The chapter was good. Better written, definitely, and nice events to introduce some but not all of their powers. I liked it.
CC wise, the chapter was a bit long. But you said you'd work on it, so good. One thing I found a tad irriating was how a character came in and you'd break the flow of the story to mention his age and other things. Better to let those things slowly sprinkle in, or better yet, figure that they come as granted. Couple grammar things, but those'll be caught in the beta'd version, no doubt.
Keep it up!
| Beatrixx Ripley chapter 1 . 3/25/2007
very cool story, definetly soemthing id wanna read. update soon