|Reviews for So, you want to fuck Paris Hilton|
| bedge chapter 1 . 12/16/2011
i want to fuck paris hilton.. i want to her tightly.. shoot my cock to her pussy deeply...
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 7/3/2010
Just the title of this poem made me laugh. Unfortunately, though, the title was pretty much the best part.
This poem doesn't even come close to your usual geniusness. The writing feels rushed, amateurish and lazy.
It starts off well enough. I like the imagery of violent, angry sex: "you want to stretch her, pull her up / by her knees until you're so far inside of her / that she's screaming your name" . . . "you want to suck the noise from her teeth," . . . "pour your burning flesh over her / until she's nothing at all."
I also enjoyed the physical descriptions. Needless to say, you seem to view Paris much I like do: the freakishly long arms, tiny tits, crooked nose, etc. She isn't all that pretty, and her rich attitude makes her even less attractive. If I was going to her, I'd also do it violently, "tuck(ing) cold fingers underneath her kneecaps," etc.
Not sure I'd want to clean her with my tongue, though. Too much filth. We'd need an army of custodians to try and accomplish that.
The second half the poem is fairly weak. I like the second-to-last stanza, about love being fucked up, "like the shape of her limbs," but the three stanzas that come before read as if you just wrote them once and never tried to improve them.
[you say that you would love to fuck Paris Hilton / because, you say, that she needs a good fuck]- The second "you say" kills a lot of the rhythm and punch. I'd lose it, so that it's "you say that you would love to fuck Paris Hilton / because she needs a good fuck."
[Fuck her, while her arms cross your neck / like a crucifix] Instead of reading and reviewing your newest stuff, which I'm sure you'd rather me do, I'm going to try and work my way up from where I originally left off. Anyways, it's interesting that just yesterday I read/reviewed "If I," which had the imagery of a womanly cricifixion, and here we see similar imagery.
There's quite a few commas in this piece that do nothing but jar the natural rhythm: "You want to fuck, so your fingers can twitch / and curl across dark pink nipples," . . . "Show her, what a guy in a black hoodie from the / rainy state of Washington can do to her," . . . "You want her, to want to take her clothes off for you." None of those commas at the beginning of those lines are needed.
[Pull them free, from skin - lace braw] *bra*
[as you pump your pulp ever deeper a slight] I praised your alliteration yesterday. But here's an example of contrived alliteration that only stands out in a negative light: "pump your pulp." C'mon, seriously? PULP?
Certainly one of your weaker poems, imo. It lacks a natural rhythm; the word choice is a bit lazy; there's too much repetition. However, a weak poem from you is still better than any poem I could ever write, or pretty much anyone else on this site. But I just know you're capable of far better and harder-hitting poetry.
| trying chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
Haha! I love this. I know it's been mentioned before, but the rating should be higher, maybe?
"you think, love is fucked up, like the shape of her limbs, so long, and tight."
Love that line. It's amazing. :)
So congrats, not many would be able to write so openly about a subject such as this.
| Definition chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
Wo :o - jawdrop-
Really dark humour...this is so intense, so raw. I really enjoyed this :)
| Hustle Rose chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
Amazing. Your representation of Paris Hilton and everything she embodies seems so true, but you do it without any hint of undue resentment or spite towards her, in fact Im not sure whether it's the man you write about who comes off worst.
| Chidori Nadare chapter 1 . 4/18/2007
Amazing and interesting. I really get it. I'd probably rate it T. Awesome piece, though. Keep writing! Thank you for your reviews. :)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
I might rate this T instead of K
I like this... the repition is great... I love the part about her breasts being like a 13 year old's
Honestly... I don't see why people find her so attratctive, but anyhow.. great piece.
| Stormer chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
This is so cool. I admit I'm mildly the anti-Paris. I can imagine that some dude said this to you, "Oh man I wanna fuck her!" or something, and this was the result. :) The places we take inspiration from...!
I really like your writing!
| hermione032192 chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
Interesting. XD I loved the last line. Gave me a good laugh. _
| Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 4/2/2007
Amazingly written in raw detail
| aalagidude chapter 1 . 4/1/2007
I love the comparisons. Such dark sensuality with such a figure. Some would do just as the poem says some would never touch anything close. And either way the poem is enjoyed.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
Wow. Interesting piece. "love is fucked up, like the shape of her limbs" - hahahaha, awesome. Paris Hilton needs to not exist sometimes. Well, ok, all the time. :D Keep writing! :)
| MallowsWins chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
Wow, this is hilarious. What really impresses me though is the fact you were able to put this together in such a clever way. The comments about her body throughout the poem cracked me up. Amazing work, I needed a laugh.
| she smolders chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
There's something horrifyingly beauty about this poem. I love this.
| Crazyguy1990 chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
Lol, this is so true. However, just a thing on rating, I'd probably rate it T at least so it doesn't get removed
Good stuff, though