|Reviews for Private Pergatory|
| Wynter Storm chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
I love the first line. its so true :)
| May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
I've felt this way so many times in my life. Peace.
| deefective chapter 1 . 11/26/2008
Review Marathon Prize!
Well, I like the voice you used to write this poem. It's clear and it has that tone to it that tells a reader that this is an actual person speaking. What I don't like is how you arranged the stanzas. I find that my breaking up some of the sentences it disrupts the flow. But other than that, nicely done.
[Haha, I was just about to add the RM tag.]
| Isca chapter 1 . 8/25/2008
"Which chose causes that..." should probably be "Which choice causes that..."
The last three lines were riddled with truth and pain. We all have our private torments to deal with, and the words 'private purgatory' illustrated that well :)
| erftghyjukilopopikuyjtrge chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
I like this one. It's so... uncertain. lol good job!
| lymli chapter 1 . 6/21/2008
the last lines were kinda sad, sometimes people have to do what they don't want.
| damaged isolation chapter 1 . 3/13/2008
Hm I like the theme muchly. It is a good concept (although I don't agree with 'purgatory' as it is defined generally). I wrote a poem of a very similar nature about two or three days ago. Fairly different in structure and material of course.
I am guessing this is one of your earlier works. I have a few problems with it. Firstly, it starts well structured with 6 lines to a stanza, but randomly just changes to 4 for two stanzas. Possibly if just the middle (3rd) stanza was 4 lines - it would provide symmetry.
Secondly, i think the 4th stanza is particularly dry. It is not poetry to me: it is just stating a question in a prose form. It is a valid question of course, but is there a better way to ask it? A more subtle way? Also I do not like the three dots at the end of that stanza.
Other than that, it would have been nice to see either some rhyming or more strong rhythm in there, but that's not too much of a detractor. All in all I think it has the makings of a good poem...just needs some work!
PS. this is your other prize review. if you like bitter, savour it :).
| CandleQueen chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
Hm...maybe it's important to go down the wrong road sometimes...because I think sometimes we learn best by our mistakes. Liked it, hon. Kinda reminds me very faintly of Robert Frost's "A Road Not Taken," except it's a good deal darker.
| a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 1/27/2008
Very powerful. I love it.
| Unknown Survivor chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
Lovely work. Well written.
| GothicSpook chapter 1 . 11/16/2007
I love it! Everone goes through these thoughts at least once in their life if not many times! I've been through these emotions a few times, worried about what I want my career to be and what university course to do at which university! I hope I chose the right one!
So far I'm loving your poems and that I can relate to them!
| Kusje chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
Very serious one, I recall over. I liked how you entwined your true intentions in this poem. I think we all try to think and try to predict out our lives or what situations we're in. That's what life is though, right? Being rendered incapable of truly being able to understand at first, but then being able to have the true realizations that one wished they would have had before hand. It's odd like that, but that's what makes life so interesting, right?
| WaylanderX chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
Fantastic imagery. A really impactful poem. I love it! keep writing.
| CarpeDiem28 chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
you put quite an image in my head...great work though, and please take that as a compliment. Sometimes people write things and I'm like wtf? but i get your feelings in this poem completely. Excellent. Keep Writing!
| Needa S chapter 1 . 4/29/2007
Sad, but an awesome piece just the same. Write on!