last two lines were the

cherry on my

60 cal/ sundae.

:)

I'm so glad that I've got my internet back, just so that I can read your poetry again. Honestly. I've been like an addict going through withdrawal.

The second part gave me goosebumps. Your poems always possess such vivid imagery. I can't say I've been jealous of too many things in my life, but your talents are one of them.

I love it. Unfortunately, I've never been known for revealing something deep and poetic and the only thing I can think to comment on is your profile.. Ana and Mia, ha ha. Ever read the book Mercy, Unbound? It's great. Well, the beginning's great. The end SUCKS. Ha ha. Well, I won't waste your time talking about some other author's waste of talent, ha ha.

you have a way with words..

your word usage works for the poem and helps make the images vivid.

kind of became dragging at the middle.. but i guess that's my bad.

:D

thanks for the rev, dude :D

So incredibly beautiful. There are some images in particular that I just fell in love with - the hands into puckered lips, jealous eyelashes, and your body turned into vanilla & cherry ribbons. So gorgeous. Just wonderful work. Keep writing! :)

I think this is probably the most mature-sounding thing you've ever written. "translate my thoughts, they are in fever, you are in winter rain." I like that...

I really don't know what to say about this. The whole time I was reading I could only think of how you could so easily be a poet. And you know, that's how I think of you now. When I read other's poetry, I compare them to you. In lit class, there hasn't been one poem I've read that I've really found to be on the same level as yours.

"my eyelashes are jealous." I laughed at that...I just wasn't expecting something from MadLibs to show up in a poem like this (by "this," I mean dark/drama/angst).

"yes, yes, the world is tilting under my weight"...you already know what I'm going to say to that.