Reviews for Back Off
october lies chapter 1 . 3/10/2009
i can't say that i'm feeling the anger mentioned in the summary of this. had i not read the summary, i would've initially thought that you were going for a more independent tone than anything else. not rebellion, not anger, more of a revelation, so to speak. they sound wounded, even, as if they were just put into a cage of some sort. maybe (if you're at all interested in going back and editing it, i mean) try and add some more spiteful words or phrases?

I LOVE this part: "I might make mistakes, but I also make it through"

that is such a great line, THAT line screams "independent", or whatever. that line, to me, brings this poem meaning and life and substance. great job.