|Reviews for Kissing Chemotherapy, For Travis|
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
This poem is so highly personal that I feel it would be out of place for me to even try and offer any sort of criticism. You didn't write this for us, you wrote it for yourself and for Travis. We were just lucky enough for you to share it with us, and I applaud you for that. We didn't know your friend, so all the memories that are referenced in the poem have no real meaning to us, but yet we still feel their power and their importance, just because we can feel the emotion behind your words. This guy obviously meant a lot to you, and it shows.
I do think the poem is a bit too long, a bit repetitive in parts, but, like I said, that doesn't really matter, because this poem isn't to be judged in a normal manner.
[I remember Travis, in his auburn haired glory] *auburn-haired*
[Where we, ran, wild, with the shadows lying long] Why so many commas? Not a single one is needed.
[Ten years ago, when you were in forth grade,] *fourth*
[was in six grade] *sixth*
[so much, the lines on your scull] *skull*
[ Lines, formed, by / permanent markers when the doctors charted the separation] Again with the unnecessary commas.
[Not the first boy, I wished greater thing for] *things*
[An eleven year old girl on the cusp of something.] *eleven-year-old girl*
[Were you to, trapped in those memories?] *Were you, too, trapped in those memories?*
This is a very sad poem, yet very sweet. Powerful, too. The stanzas about him lying in his hospital bed with his family and girlfriend by his side, and how you wish you had been there so you could've proposed to him and let him know how much he meant to you- that entire section was incredible.
| yarrowicefrost chapter 1 . 7/19/2009
This was poignant and beautiful and a million other adjectives that can not fully describe how it recalled loss and death in my mind. The last line blew me away. One of the best things Ive read here for sure. Thank you for sharing your writing ]
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 6/11/2009
gives you that numb acheyness that comes with loss. thanks
| WinterDeity chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
there are so many words i could use to describe this..."beautiful", "poignant", "articulate", "divine", "elegant", "superb", "heartfelt" and even "saddening", but a single word, or even simply stringing words together, will never, ever., do this poem justice. i wish there was a way to take the feeling in my heart right now and put it here, but no matter how hard i try, i just keep coming up with more words.
all i can really tell you is that i feel for you. right now, sitting in this rather uncomfortable chair, quite possibly hundreds or thousands of miles away from you, the writer, i am feeling for you. you've provoked emotions in me that i haven't known since i went through a loss myself. i wish you the best. and thank you.
| Lady Fingers chapter 1 . 12/30/2007
this made me love a boy i will never know.
"our bridal chamber would have been adorned with respirators
and machinery pumping life and death into us. I would
have laid with you in that room, watching as the moon
grew thorns, and I, reaching my palm out to scratch it,
would have captured it - our flag of truth. Togetherness. It would
hold you to me, like a tide, flowing like blood, it would
rush to your face and then fade away."
that whole stanza, i can die now.
| breakinginmusic chapter 1 . 12/16/2007
I'm crying a little as I type this review. This is such a beautiful, heartfelt piece; like nothing I've ever seen before. The line "You ready Travis?" was what really got me, I think.
This is one of the most incredible poems that I have ever had the pleasure to read, but I find myself saddened at the thought of what painful events must've led up to your writing it. I am so deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. He must've been a truly beautiful young man, to inspire the beauty that you have so graciously shared with us. Thank you so much.
| jkendrick chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
Words seem so powerless compared to death. But i understand. and i'm sorry.
| Tr APeze-sWiNGer chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
I'm witnessing a young friend deal with leukemia right now, and this poem accurately captures the experience. It's the feeling of everything falling away from you in a single instant; one day you're making plans and living, and the next you're sick and everything has changed. Thank you, for verbalizing it
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/25/2007
Im sorry for your loss (although delayed bc im so behind on fp reviews)
I love this poem.. I think its one of your bests.. it flows beautifully from past to present to imagining... its easy to understand but the language is wonderful and the whole piece is heartbreaking and I think everyone can relate to at least one aspect of it... amazing write
| in a jar pk chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
so heartfelt and sincere, and obvioulsy experienced; i love how even in all your grief you still manage to write such eloquent words.
i'm sorry about your travis; my friend passed away a few years ago from leukemia.
| memoriesofwillow chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
Wow this is really sad. My favourite bit was "While I was falling in love with boys who would
never grow to love me back, you were doodling cartoons", it just says something for me. Well done!
| heresyisforlosers chapter 1 . 4/15/2007
How sad... But very beautiful. Great piece of work.
| Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 4/15/2007
This was beautiful, amazing and sincere. I'm very sorry for your loss.
| re x invented chapter 1 . 4/10/2007
this was really beautiful. i can relate to some of the emotions, only in my case i was the nameless form holding his hand till the end. i had to read a little bit, walk away for a while, and then read more later. i may have teared up a little. maybe. but don't tell.
something like this isn't an easy topic. i admire you for your bravery in posting this here for the whole world to see. i'm happy you did. for some reason, this sorta brought a smile to my face.
_till tonight do us part
| like a lover chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
like someone else has written, my eyes are glistening. this is beautiful and so strong. i love it, writing anything else couldn't do justice to how this made me feel.