Reviews for Pandemic
yuanyuan chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
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lijuan chapter 1 . 5/30/2010
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rara saryn chapter 35 . 9/3/2009
Pretty good. More please!
Nightmare Of Eden chapter 3 . 6/17/2009
Good writing but a lot of bad word/phrase choices, for example when you said:

I opened the book and saw writing that resembled my own. There was about a half page of writing. It looked like my writing but didn’t seem to be anything that I would write, or ever want to write.

You said variations of "write" five times! Not only was it repetitive, but it sounded bad. Learn to pack as much into one sentence without overloading the reader, so you can avoid this. For example, an alternative could be:

I opened the book and saw half a page of writing that, while it resembled my own, didn't seem to be anything I'd ever want to put down on paper.

See? Much better. And further down, your dialogue is better, but still some odd word choices. "Amputate"? Why not just "quarantine?"
Nightmare Of Eden chapter 2 . 6/17/2009
Hmm. To be honest, the descriptions were nice but the dialogue and interaction between the blonde and the protagonist was very weak.
Nightmare Of Eden chapter 1 . 6/16/2009
Scary, I love these sorts of stories. :]
Denizen chapter 4 . 6/6/2007
First:

“Most of us did.” Bruce said with a snicker. “None of us really like her, but are too afraid to tell her off. Since you’ve came in, Cindy hasn’t caused anyone trouble.”

“Oh ho!” I said with a smile.

“Her name is Alexa. She’s been asking about you frequently.”

You sort of say her name is cindy then Alexa.

Second: Put a little more flow into the dialogue. It seems like its sort of rapid fire bang bang bang lines sort of thing, awkward or something. Dont know the word for it.

Other than that, loving the story so far and cant wait to find out what happens next. Just watch the grammar.
Love Kills Slowly chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
interesting.
AluminumMuse chapter 14 . 5/5/2007
Yay! Chapter 12 and 13 are titled incorrectly, so it looks asthough 13 comes first.
AluminumMuse chapter 12 . 5/5/2007
Actually, in space, there is a constant feeling of free fall, so you wouldn't suddenly feel that sensation only after entering the atmosphere/starting the decent. Otherwise quite good. I wonder who Alexa is a clone of?
AluminumMuse chapter 11 . 5/5/2007
Yar har, quite interesting, but not very clear. I don't really understand the purpose of the thing in his neck...
AluminumMuse chapter 5 . 5/5/2007
*he. -winces- Sorry, Colin, please do not beat me with your super hard skin!
AluminumMuse chapter 4 . 5/5/2007
Very well done, actually. the first chapter is a little dull, I'm wondering if you could work that into the rest of the story? Other than that, I like it. You have set the peronality very well, aswell as using the character's reactions about things (waking up in a room with no teeth and no nails) to show the general ideas of the era. Where I would be freaking out, she takes it all in stride.
Michael Panush chapter 10 . 5/2/2007
I do like where this story is going, and I like the idea of the evil corporation genetically engineering super soldiers to battle psycho-zombie mutants on earth. But this still needs some work. The main character seems to be an erratic cardboard cut-out. One moment he's joking and cracking wise like Bruce Campbell in The Evil Dead, the next he's crying about his parents like Harry Potter. If he's going to be a big chinned cocky action hero, that's cool, but make him one all the way. Also, give me some more reason to hate Lifefield. Perhaps have the hero eavesdrop on some evil conversation between the C.E.O. where they casually refer to children as 'replacable' or 'tasty' or something like that. That'll make me hate them. Otherwise, I can't wait to see the zombies and the heros go toe-to-toe.
searchlight chapter 4 . 4/15/2007
If it gets worse, we'll amputate? Uh, wow. I guess the itching wasn't in his mind. One thing-did you mean to call Bruce's wife Broke or is it supposed to be Brooke? This story has a very Resident Evil in space feel, which is good. At least, from my perspective.

searchlight
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