Reviews for The Underdogs
maria chapter 2 . 7/22/2007
wow! i like this story! im going to read the other chapters now bcuz its so gud! ]
Nailliv chapter 6 . 7/21/2007
Oh, interesting story. The prolouge made me curious, so I read more.

There are some parts that confuse me. The change of times and/or point of view kind of threw me off for a second, because I'm one of those people that need something to let me know of the change. x]

But it's pretty good so far, and I can't wait to read more.
Adma the Hip chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
This is very interesting, I love it :) keep it up, go Tak XD
James Michaelis chapter 2 . 7/20/2007
It is a good story, but I must say the use of the F-word is almost intolerable.
quwira chapter 6 . 7/20/2007
u wrote this when u were 13? thats heaps good 4 a 13 year old! i want 2 know what happens next!
Blunt.Wolf chapter 3 . 7/19/2007
Hmm when I frist read this I couldn't believe how simular it is to my current project. anyway i'm sorry I didn't review for the 6th chap. It's sorta cool to read a fic about another street fighter but in a different way. I'll review the rest later, and I'm glad you enjoy my fic aswell. maybe we can work together or something if it isn't too much. If I might make a suggeston, tune down that maturity for a 'T' rating.
kswriter chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
wow this story sounds really interesting. it's good.
Torii Takahashi chapter 3 . 5/7/2007
This story has made it hard for me to identify where exactly you're going with this. That's pretty good. Not too many that can actually do that. I usually have some general idea. It's nice not knowing exactly how this story is going to end.
Torii Takahashi chapter 1 . 5/3/2007
Very eloquently written. I like the descriptors you've used. It's an awesome start.
Jen chapter 3 . 4/29/2007
heyheyhey wow dude i remember this chapter being a lot longer originally lol

and way to update quick :p
heavensnt chapter 2 . 4/26/2007
yeh i remember you, i'm glad you decided to edit your story, i believe it got much better. i really liked the prologue, and i remember that the first couple of chapters were a bit slow so i can't wait until it gets better. good writing, though, and the bit at the end of this chapter is refreshing. i'll keep reading, but probably not extremely's not summer anymore, unfortunetly. by the way, you spelled "intense" wrong
lipoaccipitridae chapter 2 . 4/18/2007
Erm, ok... so as requested, I review /:

Firstly, I think you should cut down on the explicit language. It doesn't serve any purpose. Really. And it's garish.

Also, try not to use words; phrases you are unsure of, I suppose. Because description seemed a tad forced... But nonetheless, I guess the vocab is not bad...

And... You have quite alot of ideas there, I suppose with 300 pages you should be able to elaborate on them then. I hope.

Yeah, so I guess this story has potential XDXD. Just cut down those... yeah. Haha it should be fine.

So... Yep, ok, so haha, thanks for the review at any rate. XD.
Krustyknuckles chapter 2 . 4/17/2007
Is this really rated T? Just a bit of advice, Cuss words can be used more effectively, if needed at all. Another is that NO self respecting writer uses his/her own name or the pen name being used at least for any major characters. Sure, you want to be a part of the story, although I only think its alright if it's an autobiography or a story based on your life. I can't bring myself to read it because of your use of expletives and the complete harshness of the characters. I really hope my review helps you as a writer, because you have to know your audience first. No hard feelings, please. You do have good structure, grammar, and spelling. Lots of good dialogue, too. You really only need to cut down the more difficult dialogue, and perhaps change your rating category...

Tisbee chapter 2 . 4/17/2007
The prologue left me wanting to read more, and I love your writing style in the first chapter. (Yes, three winky eyes.) I'm definitely looking forward to your next update.
BlazexFlame chapter 2 . 4/16/2007
woah o_O such language xD

lol its pretty interesting...

plz continue

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