So prefect...so pretty...

-Amber

Nice start! I'm intrigued. It's very descriptive, I like that. Although the description of Mordecai gets a little . . . cheesy, with his "nicely toned muscles" and all. It sounds a bit like something out of a romance novel. Also, it sounds a little too modern, doesn't really fit with the rest of the writing. But other than that, it's good.

The plot thus far seems a little cliche, but no matter. I say you should write what you feel like writing, no matter if someone's done it before. When you get right down to it, it's all been written before in some shape or form. The romance is good thus far. I like the subtext in the communication- the gentleness of touch, Saraneth drawing back from Mordecai in fear. You say a lot without words. Watch that you don't become too melodramatic though. You haven't yet, but it has the potential to. I'm one to talk, but . . . build up relationships between the characters well before you introduce a lot of drama. That'll

The only real problem I see is the names. I was confused at first- I thought this was a fanfiction. They're very nice names. In fact, I envy Garth Nix's ability to come up with such good ones. But having multiple characters with names from another work doesn't work so well with original fiction, much as I love the Abhorsen trilogy.

Sorry if I sound to critical. I really did like it, else I wouldn't have written such a long review. I'm adding it to my favorites.

I like it, and I strongly urge you to continue. I'll be looking forward to more.

Being your best friend(or at least i hope i am) I shall be the first to re-tell you that i love how you write! Love love love! Onto my favorite stories, and favorite authors, and author alert, and story alert. *sticks out tongue*