Reviews for Slow Ride
kaylajac chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
my favorites here are 9 and 11, 9 most of all. they all have a nice tone, but the subtle change in tone with #9 is what makes it breathtaking. in 1, i wasn't that tempted to read on, i have to say, but then i got to stanza five and i was captured. seriously, this "/A strangely suddenly beautiful boy..." to the end is stunning. the beginning of it felt like so much i've seen before- tinged with illicit sex and bitterness. 2 is very layered, which is cool- you can figure it out, but it takes some thinking. in 5, i can't say i'm a big fan of the parenthesis (ex lo(athing)ve ) but this line: "It was a chemical translation tumbling on carpets with rug burned sins." is seriously gold.

i like 7 a lot, actually. it goes from innocent things (boyish ease, shy grin) to something really sinister (date rape pill) and surprises you nicely. 8 i like for its cynicism.

some of these feel too wordy- 3, 4, and 10 specifically. also, some of them really don't make sense- i have to read them multiple times before i get an idea of what you might have been trying to say, those being 3, 6, and 10.

overall, there are some things here i don't like and some things that seriously take my breath away. you're such a good writer, i don't doubt you could bring everything up to such amazing quality.
dollface and her cancer chapter 11 . 5/17/2007
i love when you write, chica. ferserious.
Faith Adeline chapter 11 . 5/13/2007
i like these, they're very good and I cannot wait to read more.

hey maria chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
"I think two million other poets have said it better."

Surely not two million. You said it just fine.