|Reviews for Heat|
| Streamwolf8 chapter 10 . 5/12/2007
Yikes, I would not like to be Rae right about now. That Dark Lord gives me the shivers x_x
| Frau Welt chapter 7 . 5/10/2007
Oh! The story is having a twist! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Streamwolf8 chapter 7 . 4/29/2007
Well done, as always, but some thoughts for consideration:
1) If the Dark Ones leader is already strong enough to destroy the world, why does he seem to ask so politely and not simply take Rae by force? Beyond that, if he is cursed to remain in the underworld unless he marries Rae, how can he destroy the earth from there?
2) When you go through the editing process and fleshing out, you may want to put more emphasis on Rae's past having been kept secret and now suddenly being revealed as a big ordeal - If she did not yet know her important origins, there must have been a reason for keeping it secret this long, and it is no small fact if her origins include breaking the curse on the Dark One leader.
As usual, a very well done chapter. ) The mission's background simply requires a bit of fine-tuning, in my opinion...
| Frau Welt chapter 5 . 4/28/2007
Hey! I liked that. It was so sweet. Rae being all caring and her having her own teen-ish romance! Gd work!
| Streamwolf8 chapter 5 . 4/23/2007
Really liking the Spark character. From the very start, you see him as sort of a frail scared little fellow. He's really cute.
The story is really good thus far. Again, the chapters could use a bit of fleshing out, and perhaps a touch of grammar adjustments, but otherwise it remains truely excellent.
| Streamwolf8 chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
It doesn't say much, but it says enough to catch interest. Perhaps a bit of fleshing out in the beginning would be good - Interaction in the family to show just how disfunctional they are, and a bit more hinting towards the fire power before it is directly stated. Otherwise, absolutely excellent. You've caught my interest )
| Frau Welt chapter 4 . 4/22/2007
Oh...I can see every child's fantasy coming alive in this story. Great work! It's always nice to read what you wish for! Can't wait to read more! Just a minor thing to consider though. You should consider adding a bit more action in each chapter. Even if the story is supposed to be a slow paced one, if you add in more events in each chapter, it will get the reader more engaged! Wokay! I gotten that off my system! Can't wait to read more!
| ricejazz chapter 2 . 4/19/2007
This is interesting stuff! I can't wait to read more. Having elements as powers...Isn't that the fantasy of every teen? Keep it up.
Please R&R mine too. Thanks.