Reviews for My Ink Stained Tongue
siphoned afterglow chapter 1 . 3/13/2008
wow, your poetry is stunning really. i like your work.

(and thanks for the reviews)
fharfalla chapter 1 . 7/21/2007
I've stumbled upon your poem and all I can say is 'absolutely good' and captivating to any writer there is.

My only comment is that lacking punctuation makes some of the readers misunderstand it. That's all.

Very, very nice.

-rippedwings*
changed.by.an.afterthought chapter 1 . 7/19/2007
ok. well. i know u posted this a while ago but - i just read it and i HAD to respond.

this poem was amazing, i don't think i've ever read a poem that i've drunk in every single solitery sylable (sp?) and wanted more mroe more, well, not on the poem, but i wanted more poems to be like that.

its amazing. i love it. my heart lept as i read it and i almsot cried for no particular reason...(and i've never cried reading anuthing) i mean...it wasn't sad...it was just - excuisate!

- Changed

(diffinetly in favorites)
The Candle Thief chapter 1 . 7/13/2007
Okay, faves. Liking something this much is exhausting.

-Ramen
tesa131313 chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
GRAMMATICAL STUFF FIRST

(much needed because some the pauses are in the middle of a line and the absence of punctuation makes it a little hard to understand)

line 2: Ink stained black tucking papers

needs a comma or period between black and tucking

line 8: Drifts into her awakened state melodies

needs a comma between state and melodies]

stanza 9, line 4: Breathes in what doesn’t exist never

needs a comma between exist and never

ABOUT THE CONTENT

Third stanzamajor
TaltushMeiMei chapter 1 . 6/9/2007
Congratulations on receiving my 10th review.

And it's a positive one. Once again, you've created something gorgeously written. Really, it's beautiful. While it's long and while much of it is pretty, empty phrases, it's got this stunning magic to it that truly makes it wonderful. You've a clear talent for describing things vividly and clearly. While it may seem like there are too many pretty and pointless parts, the result is just so pretty that there's nothing one can say against it.

Obviously, the length is an issue though. You managed to pull it off quite nicely with the numerous lovely parts and you mostly kept it from dragging, but there are moments where I just felt exhausted getting all these images in my head. There's more substance to this poem than your other (still lacking a bit more solid passion [um... feeling... sorry], but this is certainly more intense in that sense), which helps a lot, but I think this poem could be a lot more complete WITHOUT one or two of the stanzas. It would be a little more intense that way. Sharper and to the point. I highly doubt you're going to go back and correct it now (I probably wouldn't). These are more suggestions for the future. With your talent for describing things so well, I'd honestly love to see what you'd do with something a little different (yes, once again with the emotion...).

I think this is a very beautiful poem, and I really loved it ("Symphonies from piano keys" is my favorite line - it's one that means a lot to me as a big fan of classical music... unrelated, sorry). I don't honestly intend for you to suddenly change your whole writing style (since I know how hard it is), but I think to improve your writing as a general thing, having some more feeling and emotion might help you create some incredible things. Until then, keep it up with lovely lines like the ones found here.
The Intelligent Designer chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
This is totally awesome. The imagery was vivid and real, I enjoyed reading about this person. I could see everything that is happening in the poem, and I like the title too.
Professional Dreamer chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
Ah. Beautiful again. I can't even chose a favourite quote because I love it all. Though I do particularly like the second to last stanza, that wonderful description of the "inlovewithher boys". Inspiring.
Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
Very, very imaginative and descriptive. True, as well. Every writer needs an imagination, whether they write poetry or stories. And never stop questioning!

Keep up the good work. :)
Killer.Sinner.Whore chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
Goodness me.

This captivated me from the very VERY first stanza!

I love the third, sixth, tenth, twelfth, and thirteenth stanzas especially.

This whole thing had me in awe from beginning to end.

Your way with words, astounding. Great imagery. Definately inspiring and has been put on my favorite list.
GirlxAnachronism chapter 1 . 4/19/2007
WOW

amazing. I feel like the girl in this poem. Incredble
Nemonus chapter 1 . 4/18/2007
Very nice. At times this poem is disturbingly sensual; it portrays a unique person, sorta fulfilling the rumor that writers are eccentric (which we are). Your imageries are well chosen and consistant. I like "She lights candles and dips her fingers/Into the hot wax like her mother/Always taught her not to so she can/Have no identity and smooth the crevices/That plagues unlovely fingertips" and "She reads people like murder novels/Tracing her fingers doing the lines of their/Lives so she knows each characteristic/Of their souls and giggles as she finds/The weak points...". "She holds onto imaginary ideas like having/Her very own soul mate.." so true. The poem gets a little slow in the middle, but mayhap that's just my short attention span. I'd like to see a period at the end. Very nice work.
SirScott chapter 1 . 4/18/2007
That was a really good poem. A lot of different feelings all rolled up into one.

SirScott
notated descant chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
...and this is just crazy. Beautiful.

No really, i loved your descriptions and words. The one that really stood out to me was the line "She lights candles and/dips her fingers/Into the hot wax like her mother/Always taught her not to so she can/Have no identity and smooth the crevices"

I don't know why, because this whole piece was a wonderful imagery piece, for pleasure's sake of reading.

Just one thing I'd like to point out to you, and it's a pet-peeve because i say it to so many people: please seperate into stanzas. I hope I'm not the only one who loses their place while reading (maybe thats just me) but also, it organizes your thoughts and sometimes even adds to the poem when used properly. Just a suggestion.

Great job!
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 4/17/2007
wow, i like this. very unique, the first few lines really caught my attention and never lost it. good work

keep writing
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