Reviews for Breaking The Mirror
Itsa Mia chapter 17 . 1/19/2013
my heart sobbed for a good 3/5ths of the chapter. just letting you know you did it right lol
Itsa Mia chapter 14 . 1/19/2013
Mr Spencer made me want to cry. It's always nice to remember that some people are just plain good. (please don't change my opinion of him lol)
Itsa Mia chapter 5 . 1/19/2013
I love Jayden ;_; apart from him being sweet, he's got this little flame inside him that's ready to burn the house dow. brilliant. he's resigned, yes, but only because he doesn't let himself hope to be free, but i think he realizes that one day he will be, and that's why that flame is there. I think too much. you're actually really lucky. I usually just read, but getting me to review when a story is complete means i love it :D
Itsa Mia chapter 3 . 1/19/2013
Jayden is really sweet ;_; Stupid Alfred. he deserves to die of extreme flatulence.
Itsa Mia chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
your way of telling it, how we just are smack dab in resignation city, i think it's brilliant and real. I can tell this will break my heart a lot, but sometimes it's worth it.
Mischievous Panda chapter 32 . 1/17/2013
This was so sad which in turn made me sad...which just means you have a gift. A real writer has to make thier audience feel what they project and I have to say, you did a wonderful job. Fucking A this was good. I know this story is old but I doubt you've finished writing. Keep up the awesomeness Nilah!
Me chapter 32 . 1/6/2013
Respect, my Lady. very good story, and a joy for me to read. I'd like for the ending to be a little more wrapped up, but all in all I loved it. Thank you for writing and uploading!
Guest chapter 32 . 12/18/2012
Awesome story x
Tatwow chapter 32 . 12/16/2012
This was a amazing story! It was well written and the storyline was captivating! I feel like it shouldn't have ended the way it did. I feel like its missing something like its just not done. I really hope there is a sequel!
skylove chapter 32 . 11/27/2012
I love this story. It was so sad and beautiful! Thank you for posting this!
anon chapter 32 . 11/24/2012

Dont get me wrong... It was beautiful and sad and everything I love in a story!(And I highly recommend it to anyone reading this!) The best I've read in a long while...but how could you do that to me...HOW!? I was ready to read the last chapter, expecting one last wonderful chapter to satisfy me...and you left me hanging...why...why...
GrangerDanger333 chapter 32 . 11/23/2012
Hmmmm, ok...
I just read the whole of this story and it is SO GOOD! Really. I love the plot and the characters and everything. Some stories on fp about abuse don't really work, or seem realistic, but this is one of the better stories about stuff like this. I mean that you 'tackled the issue' really well :)
I get what you mean about that last chapter. After I saw this note, i went back and re-read the end. It definitely does work as a sweet ending even if I wasn't expecting it and was sad that it had to end at all.
Well done for writing such a lovely story. i love Jayden so much, he's too sweet and I think the change in him nearer the end is so good [the way he speaks and stuff..]. And Seaton is so wonderful :D Actually, thinkng about it more, all your characters are actually very well done, even the horrible ones. And the plot made total sense and linked things together, including the thing with the title which I
love :)
Great story!
xMunchy chapter 32 . 11/18/2012
Huhuhu, I am so glad I read this! I'm glad that there was no sex in this. Not that I'm a prude (there is a reason that I filtered out all the non-M ones... Huhuhu...), but because you're right. The sex would have been weird and strained and would have just not fit. I also love how you wrote the first chapter - it definitely caught my eye and interested me. All that cussing! XD The only problems were the grammar mistakes you commonly made. There isn't a single chapter where a minute's worth of reading didn't have a mistake. Well, they weren't big mistakes and I only had to puzzle over a few for a couple of minutes, so it's fine! And besides, it's been 3 years since you've worked on this, so I'm sure that you have improved plenty! But, more than anything, I love the dialogue and the general smoothness of this story. They's so realistic and natural and they just WORK. The stuttering, cuts, and obvious personality in the dialogue sings to me. They're perfect. Most people, I think (including me), have trouble with this. The dialogue is the same for every character, at the most basic of levels. If the character is shy, then we'll just make them repeat a few letters (no, not syllables - LETTERS! A little pet peeve of mine), but the speech pattern remains. Same for dialects - change how the words sound, but the basics remain. Not only that, but most of the dialogue is unnatural. Real people do not speak as if they are sure in everything we say. We will digress, trail off, change our minds, stammer, twist our tongues, use fillers (um, you know, like, god, etc), and a whole bunch of other things! We do not plan out everything we say in our heads. And that, my friend, is what you're a master at. The flow of the first-person narrative, the dialogue... All of it holds the very basics and outline of the characters's souls. It captures their thoughts, history, future, and current state. And what's more, YOU DON'T NARRATE EVEREYTHING! HALLELUJAH! A lot of people narrate exactly what their dialogue says. You, on the other hand, let your characters do all of the talking and I love that. Well, sorry for taking up your time with this essay-like review (if you even read this. This IS a review for an old work that has almost 2,000 reviews to it already. It would be absurd to read all of them, I imagine).

Oh, and another thing I respect you for: Putting all of this in a FIRST-person, PRESENT-tense narrative. I personally prefer third-person, past-tense narratives - they're easier for me to do. So the fact that you did this so spectacularly makes me respect you immensely. Ok, done.


P.S. I lied. I am not done yet.
P.S.S. I hope that FictionPress doesn't delete anything in this review like it has done so before. It seems to hate certain characters and I haven't figured out which ones yet. If you see a sudden pause or something, I'm sure you can guess why.
P.S.S.S. NOW I'm done. :)
Anon chapter 32 . 11/16/2012
This is the very first time I've read something in Fictionpress, and I seriously thought I will never finish reading up until the 31st chapter. But I did, and you're awesome like that.

I love this. It's predictable, but your characters salvaged the plotline. I especially love Jayden. I like his wit. The way he thinks, and the way he's innocent and pure but scarred at the same time. He always makes me go 'awwww'. Whenever I read his inevitably makes me want to protect him. Yeah, that's fiction for you. Speaking of which, the damsel in distress concept is probably brought about by the fact that he never tried to rescue himself from his miserable life. Instead, the man next door had to do it and save his ass from Charlie and Alfred. In my opinion though, it's pretty pardonable. Understandable, in fact, since, if we will try to just comprehend how that kid's psychology works (and may I just reiterate that he's so innocent and pure?), it's just impossible for him to breakaway. He's been abused since he was young that he probably thinks it's normal (which I really think is the case). You call it learned helplessness. Oh well, but maybe that's just me.

I love his friends! Linda, Suki and Corin. I especially love Corin's backstory. I find Mr. Spencer's attachment towards Jayden a little unsettling (not to mention I feel that the reason behind his fondness towards the kid is lacking), but, yeah, Jayden rocks. /shot.

The only thing that bugs me about this story is its grammar. I'll forgive the incoherence for most part because it's written in Jayden's point of view, but the simple things which can be amended with a quick proofreading is just- a very big turn off. I mean this story is really good (I don't even talk with my friends while I'm reading it), but I have to come clean that I almost pushed the back button as soon as I saw your 'Did you here me, boy!?' at the first chapter. Like...what on earth? Haha. But, since I was interested in the 'child abuse' theme (I was actually expecting BDSM here. It's my first shot with a story that goes along this motif), I persevered. XDD And I'm telling you, not everyone's lenient to overlook that simple mistake. Oh well, it's their loss.

So yeah. I hope you'll be more careful next time! No one's got a perfect grammar, but it's a little disturbing to read something which will require you to mentally proofread most of the time.

Lastly...the ending. Haha. I will be lying if I say I'm not disappointed that they didn't have sex (this is rated M, I was waiting for it :)))), but, given that you think Jayden's not yet ready, I'll let it pass. Really though, I thought he was so much eager and prepared. XD I think the last few chapters are where Jayden's character developed? From the shy, mute guy who's terrified of just about everything, he starts to see his humanness and begins to long for things. To learn how to be selfish (which, I believe, is innate in us?). It's actually kind of cute that he finds normal human beings' lives 'complex'. But, yes, he's there. He's beginning to explore it and that's the point where he'll probably learn to fight back and stand up for himself. So, no, I don't think he's just a damsel in distress. The last chapters proved it. Perhaps people are just misunderstanding his obsession over Seaton as 'dependence'? But, really, the kid's just in love. Or maybe I'm wrong, but whatever XD hahaha

All in all, this is a good story for me ;D That is, grammatical errors and incoherent sentence construction put aside. So yes! Good luck and I hope you write more
KatieBobb chapter 1 . 11/16/2012
This seems interesting hmmmmm
2,116 | « Prev Page 1 .. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 19 .. Last Next »